What are you up to today if you have a chronic illness 🧵10! Summer Edition 🌞

[MewithME]

Getting ready..,. But you know the score.... Let's be good and fill thread 9 up first 😁

Link https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5542135-what-are-you-up-to-today-if-you-have-a-chronic-illness-thread-9-summers-coming

16C and rainy here - it's lovely! Will tell it to head southwards too.

Had a really rough night - something I ate yesterday clearly didn't agree with me and made this known at 3am. Thankfully it's a quiet day at work.

@TeaAndStrumpets thanks, that's v nice of you 😊..soon but not today. Am I being silly...I don't like to say exactly when just in case. I know it's our cosy corner but it is still not the best idea maybe to reveal it in MN?

Gosh there's been some horrible anti disability stuff lately on MN.

Anyway, I'm slowly waking up as I didn't sleep too well. Woken at 2.30am by what I presume was the police helicopter! So loud! V annoying.

I still feel lousy. All heavy and same as yesterday, bit of a thumping head and in pain. I don't think it's a bug, as I don't have other symptoms.

Anyway, the present I ordered for myself will arrive later. I've gone for it and bought a little Nespresso machine. Feel slightly guilty about pod coffee for the environment but I haven't taken a flight in over 15 years so maybe I'm allowed to cash in some 'green points '? 🙈

I'm going to have to rearrange my little office upstairs a bit to accommodate it but my thinking is, it'll save trips up and down stairs when I'm working and..... My first coffee of the day can be without going downstairs too.

@MewithME yes an awful lot of disability hate at the moment on MN. Although I've been following one of the threads I've dared not comment. I think some MNetters would rather see me work until the day I'm taken into end of life hospice care than try and apply for none means tested benefits.

If it was the Reform one, I read it. House still hot even though outside is cooler but achievement of the day at just after 10am is vacuuming lol

That was the one I read, it was vile. The number of posters all for the removal of benefits are the ones who will be hardest hit if they ever get ill.

Well done on the cleaning. I set my timer to 30 mins and whizzed round. I tend to do a room a day and once that time is up do no more. I am really trying to move my ass in the mornings before the fatigue hits in the afternoon.

Morning and happy soon to be birthday @MewithME I think you’re right to be cautious, and I sometimes forget this place is visible to all! 🙄 Hope you and DS have a lovely day whenever it is. The coffee machine sounds like a fabulous birthday gift.

Yay for hoovering @JewelleryCat I

Hope you soon feel better @martha79

Our garden is the same @TeaAndStrumpets DH planted a lot of pots and several new shrubs this spring which are not looking great which is a shame. It’s 25°c here and possible rain weds/ Thurs. 🤞

I think you’re sadly right @Oioiqueen re the disability hate though I try not to read those threads as none of us are here through choice. 😕

Understood @MewithME A birthday week it is!

I am sometimes prone to oversharing then hastily deleting, it is too relaxing on here.

Oven man is struggling, really hoping he can fix it.

@TeaAndStrumpets I always get anxious about tradesmen doing things incase it goes wrong and costs more. No idea why as it's never happened yet. Just had some come and look at some flashing and repointing we need redoing. Another one coming later to quote also, it makes me really twitchy haha! Hope yours can get your oven fixed.

@TodayIsabetterone I wonder how many of these anti disability people actually realise how close you can be to lose it all. So many people live month to month and are frivolous with their lifestyles. Not realising how little SSP pays or how low benefits actually are in most cases. Most people see the people who are fraudulently claiming or are eligible for most things because it makes great reading in far right circles. It doesn't show the 'boring disabled people' just trying to get by every day with life changing conditions. Thankfully I'm in a really privileged position where DH earns well. However we've always had a 'loss of income' fund in an ISA that we've never touched. We also don't have outstanding finance except the mortgage or credit cards. I really can see how people can fall from working full time and being well, do a life changing condition and losing everything. Having a benefit system allows people to be caught when they fall, it's not a stick to beat people up with and make them feel bad when they need help.

My oven is dismantled, the chap needs another part and will be back later in the week. Good job we never use it! We have a Sage mini oven which is brilliant, use that for everything.

A quick browse on Amazon and I found some stuff for DD2 . She WFH a couple of days a week and lives on tea so I've found her a swanky insulated mug and a newly published hardback. With any luck I can get the same for her DH in October ...different colour mug and a different book. It's a theme!

Your little pod thing sounds brilliant @MewithME it sounds just the job.

Happy birthday week @MewithME 🍰💐 and happy new coffee machine. A friend gave me their old pod one when they got a new model, and I really like it (even if I can only handle decaf).

On the benefits front, I feel extremely lucky I've been able to keep working - I did have a period of unemployment a few years ago (went from self employed to a string of fixed term/ maternity cover contracts and then just couldn't get a job for a few months) and it was scary how quick my savings went and how tight things were on UC. I've never really got my savings back on track since then as everything has got so expensive, so I can see how easy it could be to be struggling again.

Absolutely @martha79 . I feel lucky to have kept my job and my hours so far. I am worried about the coming autumn as I know I have an imbalance in workload ahead....again I am a bit cagey not to share my exact job as I think I'm pretty easy to identify 🙈 It's going to be a busy autumn but I will just have to do my best and not hurt myself in the process.

The thought of applying for a new job with MEcfs fills me with dread. Much better to keep what I have despite my grumbles.

@TeaAndStrumpets would DD enjoy a tea subscription perhaps for the big C? There must be some out there.

@martha79 that sounds like it was a really tough period of your life. I worry a lot of people think if they are to get ill then benefits will catch them. However not actually realising things like UC depend on their partners income. I'm only eligible for PIP and ESA both of which will still come in less than my meagre part time salary. However if my husband was earning just over the UC threshold we really would be struggling with my loss of income.

@Oioiqueen This chap charges one call out fee however many times he has to visit, with only the parts on top, so that was a nice change.

It does make you wary. DH is extremely good at DIY and enjoys mending things, but really hates plumbing. We must have spent thousands over the years paying out needless insurance policies, just out of fear about not finding someone.

Sorry nothing to add to the benefits debate because DH has always earned well, but have seen DD1 struggle. She has lost income working around her son with SN.

Yes I think subscriptions all round will be a good idea all round this Christmas!

@TeaAndStrumpets I've been eyeing up the bird and blend weird teas. I might treat myself.

I've also asked my mum if she has any china cup and saucers she wants rid of. I don't have room for a set but I'd like one fancy one 😁

Mum has sooooo many tea sets, coffee sets, glassware.....she's had a very nice life and a big house all her adult life. She can't comprehend that when I say I can't fit stuff in my house, I really mean it! I will have to reign her in because she'll try and give me loads 😆

Poor Mum...she hates the thought of what will happen to her stuff when she isn't here anymore. I think she knows me and sibling will not be having it all . . She has some lovely things but I will have to encourage her to give some things away I think rather than us having a huge job and having to get house clearance (though we probably will).

Not a nice thought but I can't cope with it all!

This is so close to my heart! We've inherited so many tea and coffee sets from MIL that we still have in storage. Really difficult to know what to do with it all. I am guilty of having loads of teacups to feed the dishwasher! But MIL tended to have stuff with gold decoration and it can't go in the dishwasher. DH has saved it all but her granddaughters don't want it, so it's never going to be any good for us.

I suppose at least she enjoyed buying it!

@TeaAndStrumpets yes I can see why you would be wary. Your DH sounds just like mine in regards to plumbing. Does yours also like to drill through water pipes like mine? Fingers crossed your oven will be fixed soon and sounds like no extra charges either which will be nice.

@MewithME would your mum to be open to donating any of it to organisations whilst she is alive or selling and using the proceeds for something nice that she will get enjoyment out of? One thing I've heard of people doing it taking pictures of their things before passing them on. She could have a photo album that she could flick through showing her favourite pieces. She still gets the enjoyment from them but not the anxiety of a household clearance once she's gone.

I made DH root around in the loft yesterday for some of my 'memory boxes'. I've been downsizing a lot of my stuff in recent months. It sounds quite morbid but I know my young kids will have no interest in some of the stuff I have so I'd much rather leave just one big box rather than three big boxes. I'll be leaving them a few memory sticks of old photos, video messages and documents etc. I've also started writing out some memory journals so they'll have those too.

Afternoon all. Another damp day here. Around 20⁰c.
Agree with you all about the disability hate. Literally overnight your life can change through no fault of your own. It's horrible & you need help not criticism.

You're an amazing Mum. Must be incredibly hard to do but bittersweet I guess. I love looking at old photos but they make me cry.

@Oioiqueen how touching, your children will feel your love always.

I hope you have some very nice photos to leave them. So often the Mum is the one behind the camera and doesn't get shown taking part in things.

Update on the broken oven. Just realised the electric hob is now out of action as it's on the same switch! DH had cold sardines on toast for lunch. We don't really need the hob much because I steam veg, rice, potatoes etc in my giant steamer. Trying to persuade DH he can cook porridge in the little oven but he says he'll be forced to heat up a frozen croissant 😄

@MewithME i'd rather not be of course but it is what it is. Although I should be around for a while yet, treatment has come on so much in 5 years so might be something further down the line that gives more hope. I'm being positive now whilst all is good as can be.

@TeaAndStrumpets I hope so. I'm definitely more present with them than I was a year ago. I will miss out on the huge milestones such as getting married and having children. I aim to defeat the odds so we shall see what comes next.

On a less morbid note, do you have a microwave? I always do porridge in that rather than on the hob. He could always go and get the pots that you add hot water to if he's desperate.

You sound like an incredible mum @Oioiqueen who shows such strength and resilience in what must be the toughest situation for anyone to be in.
I love memory boxes and probably keep far too many. I think partly because I lost my dad suddenly as a child and I don’t have anything of his or even many photos so I tend to go the other way! My DD loves looking through the boxes but adult DS really isn’t fussed at all.

Oh heck @TeaAndStrumpets I hope the oven repair man doesn’t take too long especially as it’s the hob too!

DH finally got around to sorting out my old dog off road walking scooter as I’m currently using my newer lightweight one which is fine on smooth surfaces but doesn’t do well off-road. Only to pump up the tyres, put it on charge to find it’s not charging! 🙄 He thinks it’s the charger so will try that first before paying for the mobility shop to take a look. The last time it needed a new battery, the cost made my eyes water so hoping it’s not that! 🤞 Just realised I bought it in 2012 - second hand but hardly used but when I say old, it’s pretty old 😂 hence buying a new one about few years ago!

No we don't have a microwave. We hardly ever used it so donated it to DD2. Hopefully we'll get the spare part soon so it's not terrible. Yes I have suggested porridge in the oven and got a no, DH is an anxious cook and likes to stand and stir!

Actually I think everyone should have half an eye on posterity, things like photos are easy to store, and it's nice to think people will be pleased to see them in the future. Getting into family history has turned up a few pictures of my grandmother and her mother, and together with my mum and me you can see the features popping up through the generations. It's fascinating.

In my own case I will be censoring a bit! I'm not sure I want my kids to read my personal letters, in fact not sure I want to read them myself. I was so naive and cocky I just blush for myself. We have a box each of letters DH and I wrote to each other when we were at separate universities. He used to draw me cartoon strips to illustrate his day, it was our own little world. It's so personal. Will probably burn them one day!

Of course letters to your kids are totally different, the chat and the anecdotes glue a family together. It's a wonderful project.

@TeaAndStrumpetshow funny- I could have written that! DH and I also have boxes of letters to each other from uni too! They’re probably hidden at the very back of the loft. I think I’d find re reading them fascinating but definitely wouldn't want anyone else to! 😂

@TeaAndStrumpets I love the idea of you and DH writing each other letters, such personal memories.

@TodayIsabetterone I doubt DS will be interested. I've always kept things within reason to be able to pass on to the kids when they are old enough. If they aren't interested then that's down to them but I don't want them to feel like how you must have done as a child, that must still be really hard now? I know that is recent years I've looked back on my childhood more and asked lots of questions about my upbringing from my mum. I know DD won't have that if she ever has children so I feel the guilt of making sure there is something for her to have.