Single dad struggling with benefits, baby milk and where to get help

[MyLivelySquid]

I’ve recently became a single dad and as much as I hate to admit it I’m struggling, my son is 2 months old and I feel like I’m failing him. All my benefits have messed up due to going on to a single claim, does anyone know how to get help as I’m low on baby milk and I’ve no food in the house, I don’t care about me eating or not it’s my son that’s main priority! I went to the shops only to see if I could hide anything in his pram but I just couldn’t bring myself to potentially get into trouble and I’m terrified to ring social services in case they take my son, any advice is greatly appreciated

Where is the child’s mother? There are lots of charities that can help you with food, baby milk and other items you need.

On a Sunday your best bet would probably contacting your local religious groups (they won’t care what your faith is) or reaching out on local social media. Or do you have family or friends who can help? Don’t be ashamed to ask.

long term there is a scheme called healthy start which you may be eligible for which will cover the milk.

Social services aren’t going to take your child - they don’t have anywhere to take him too apart from anything else. They can refer you to food banks and help with crisis payments. Two months is very young to be separated from his mum, what’s the story there?

Food banks will often have baby milk or will know how to source sone for you, or google baby bank/baby basics charities in your area.

Do you have a social worker/family practitioner? They are there to help.

Contact your local Baby Bank, Citizens Advice and Foodbank. Do you have family or friends that you ask them to buy formula for your baby until your benefits are sorted? I would absolutely do this for someone I know.

Contact your local churches and ask about their foodbanks. There are also several posts by MN about accessing baby banks at the moment.

Please don't shoplift. Have you got an appointment with Citizen's Advice to help with your benefits claim? They might also be able to help you access other local support.

A mosque near to where I live help out people with formula if they need it

Are you not on paternity leave with a weekly
payment?
Are there any grandparents who could help?
With baby being so young, could you see a health visitor who might point you in the direction of a charity who can help while you figure your claim out?
Whatever you do, don’t use cows milk and don’t water down baby’s milk.
Depending on the circumstances of how you’ve come to be a single Dad to a baby, could you set up a GoFundMe/crowdfunding for just enough to cover milk for baby? People can be very kind and generous if your circumstances are genuine.

I am not Uk based
Can you get some help with essentials while the benefits adjusted?
You may have a child care worker like health nurse etc that can advise or help guide you? Someone dping check ups on health progress and wellness?
Ring someone online for help or finanical help.
No shame in asking for help.

It might be better if you start by saying what you have tried so far?

Foodbanks (obviously) but how many have you been to and have you got yourself a referral?

You do need to contact social services for your son’s sake. But also google food banks, baby banks and I agree re places of worship.

It takes a village. You are going to have to trust other people to help you do the very important job of being primary carer.

Social services can arrange emergency advances or one off payments, but they are going to ask questions. If the child’s mother is also claiming for the child you will need to decide who has the baby on your claim, they won’t issue 2 payments.

Depending on the circumstances of how you’ve come to be a single Dad to a baby, could you set up a GoFundMe/crowdfunding for just enough to cover milk for baby?

Interested to know why the circumstances would matter? If the baby has no milk, it has no milk.

But you haven't mentioned foodbanks in your post, which is obviously the first port of call.

Too many scammers out there for people to want to give to a crowd funding page, when foodbanks can and will help.

Where is the baby's mother? Do you have family, friends, neighbours anyone who could help you out today? You usually get referred to a food bank by your GP or social services, so you need to reach out tomorrow and get the ball rolling if you cannot afford to feed yourself and your DC. There is no shame in this and your DC will not be taken away from you. However, if you don't reach out and get assistance and your DC is neglected as a result, then you do risk them being taken away, so make the calls tomorrow morning. In the meantime, if you have no food for today, contact people you know and ask them to help you out or go to a local place of worship and ask for assistance.

We moved up to wales for a fresh start but she couldn’t cope up here said she needed her mum and a break from everything - I work for myself as a recovery driver so work slowed down before we moved here and can’t go back to work untill sons in nursery or I find a babysitter, thanks for all the advice I will go through options now x

Hello everyone

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.
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Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

Can you move back to your area so you have friends and family who can support you and your baby?

Surely if it's not working out you all move back? I can't imagine she's going to find it easier moving back without the baby? It sounds like your partner needs support for potential post partam depression and you need to seek support from social services and move back so your son can have a relationship with both his parents.

Sorry you're not in London, I would've bought you a tin of formula to keep you going. Can any of your neighbours help you out today?

https://www.healthystart.nhs.uk/frequently-asked-questions/applying-for-healthy-start-faqs/

See if you qualify for healthy start vouchers.

If you are really stuck consider asking the GP for infant formula on prescription (if for example you suspect son could have an allergy to cow's milk).... yes it's dishonest to make up symptoms... but preferable to son going hungry or you getting caught shop lifting.

sounds like she may need support for post natal issues. Are you planning to leave Wales also? Why are you not ensuring she is with her son near her support network?

I’m not scamming for money or anything I genuinely just want advice, I tried a food bank there open Tuesday. Witch I’ve got an appointment I’ve worked since 15 unfortunately I’ve just come through a bad patch thank you everyone for the advice I’ve started going though it all now

My son’s mother is slightly struggling with depression I check up on her every day I’m hoping things will get better for her and she’ll come back soon, but I don’t want to push. I have healthy start card I used the balance on that last week getting formula, we moved to wales as it’s so much cheaper for rent

Contact the oncall healthj visitor and explain the situation. They should be able to get hold of baby milk. Where is Wales are you?

A new mother who leaves behind her 2 month old baby to go back to her family and support isn't someone who is only slightly struggling.