Single dad struggling with benefits, baby milk and where to get help

[MyLivelySquid]

I’ve recently became a single dad and as much as I hate to admit it I’m struggling, my son is 2 months old and I feel like I’m failing him. All my benefits have messed up due to going on to a single claim, does anyone know how to get help as I’m low on baby milk and I’ve no food in the house, I don’t care about me eating or not it’s my son that’s main priority! I went to the shops only to see if I could hide anything in his pram but I just couldn’t bring myself to potentially get into trouble and I’m terrified to ring social services in case they take my son, any advice is greatly appreciated

So? They’re heroin abusers so their baby should go without milk?! He’s not asking for money.

I’m in Wales and I will help

Trussel Trust food banks will have a wealth of knowledge about other organisations that can also help you. Staff are well trained and will be well placed to help you-please contact them.

Hi im in wales if you are close to me i will happily help by getting baby milk and dropping it off for.you

Because he is a man…they wouldn’t report a woman who was stuck because dad ran off.

random thought, but can GPs prescribe, I know they can for premies and sick babies. That could get you going until you are sorted with food banks etc.

other than that, mum and grandma should be sending money, have you asked them?

What is mum doing for finances? Could she or her mum afford to send you £20-£30 to get baby some formula and some basics for yourself (you need to eat to have the energy to care for the baby)? Or do you have family?

Look up the food banks in your area - the rules vary but they have to verify you before you can get access once you've been referred. Often you need a referral from your local GP practice, citizen's advice, or a social worker.

I think the best advice here earlier was to get out and go to the nearest church service and ask the vicar or whoever for help, any denomination but I agree that a Sikh temple might be a good bet. OP do you not have enough for today, or is it next week you are worried about? There will be more services this evening usually starting around 6pm but you could go to the Presbytery and knock on the door before then.

Also look on the local citizen's advice website for your area - they will have a page for 'cost of living crisis' with details on local services /charities to contact

On a Sunday, as others have said, a church might well be open and willing to listen (evening services are often at 6 or 6:30 pm). Citizens Advice can definitely help with benefits, food banks and so on.

Nothing to do with the poster being male. Any posts that might elicit posters to offer money are reported so that mumsnet HQ can come on and post their prewritten warning as they've done here.

The Health Visitor will also be able to give a voucher for a Foodbank. Trussell Trust Foodbanks will have someoine from Citizen's Advice who will help with benefits etc.

Of course they would report its a well known scam (not saying this is a scam)
this is how it works

Two Facebook profiles (At least)
One profile post asking for help with baby food or food in general usually because of a benefit mix up due to separation or abandonment
People pile in with advice offers of support usually they are too far away to help but thanks anyway or they dont like giving out there address for a whoosh or uber eats delivery
Second profile suggests go fund me just to help out
Sometimes a third profile steps in to agree if people dont take the bait
Go fund me created money achieved
Change names and repeat across various groups

Sadly it was rife during the pandemic and never really went away

One thing about universal credit is even when the joint claim is changed to a single one the payment for the joint claim still goes through to the original account holder so if OP has an active claim money will still be available on the regular payment date if you have access to that account your good if not you need to negotiate with the other parent

Consider reaching out to grandparents for a helping hand they might send you baby milk they would be pretty hard hearted not to but im aware such people exist

Have a look on sites like Olio, or post on neighbourhood Facebook pages, etc so see if anyone has some spare to tide you over?

Call NHS 111 and they will prescribe you milk and you can collect from nearest pharmacy. Stay well clear of social services they will wreck your life

@MyLivelySquid
You've had some good advice about how to get the food you need for the baby.

With gentleness, It sounds like your other half is not just 'struggling'. It sounds like she is having a full on mental health crisis. It's very unusual for a new mother to effectively abandon her baby. She obviously needs her family for support.
You will need to move back. Social services will need to get involved. If you're competent, and it sounds like you are, it's highly unlikely that your baby will go into care.

Good luck. Please, please, please ask for help and be there for your partner

https://www.cardiffmoneyadvice.co.uk/benefits-and-income/emergency-help/

I have reported women who were doing the same thing as this poster.

I wouldn’t want to keep social services off their back. Anyone who gives money to a heroin user is, at best, unbelievably naive.

Why have you waited until a Sunday to seek help if you knew your baby was soon going to be out of milk?

You need to remind the mother of the baby that he needs to be fed and she still has a responsibility to help financially provide for him

Other family

Foodbanks

Community pantries

Facebook

etc

He’s not asking for money!

If you're happy to give a rough area in Wales, I work the Welsh healthcare community and have a fairly good knowledge of local charities and support services so could point in the right directions

Did you both to wales with no support at all? You need to move back, that 2 month old needs its mother.

They never do, directly.

This is the first time I’ve seen a post like this explicitly from a man, but there are dozens and dozens of examples every year where stories like this, true or not, elicit responses of ‘dm me your details and I’ll send you some money’, and then others follow suit. But there is no way to know how many of these are genuine and how many aren’t, so the MN HQ post is a really helpful reminder for people who can’t believe that scammers target this website - because they do, relying on women’s compassion for children.

It’s a horrible thing to accept, but we live in a horrible world.

It sounds like an urgent situation so I think you should go to a church for today and also ask neighbours if they can help you out. I think most people would help if they knew your situation.

Definitely think about going home or to family asap. Are you in touch with your partner’s family? They must be concerned if she has suddenly turned up with no baby. Ask them for help.

How old are you op?