Single dad struggling with benefits, baby milk and where to get help

[MyLivelySquid]

I’ve recently became a single dad and as much as I hate to admit it I’m struggling, my son is 2 months old and I feel like I’m failing him. All my benefits have messed up due to going on to a single claim, does anyone know how to get help as I’m low on baby milk and I’ve no food in the house, I don’t care about me eating or not it’s my son that’s main priority! I went to the shops only to see if I could hide anything in his pram but I just couldn’t bring myself to potentially get into trouble and I’m terrified to ring social services in case they take my son, any advice is greatly appreciated

If you are struggling for food check to see if you have any Sikh temples near you, I believe they all provide daily veggie meals for free as part of their religious practices and it's usually pretty good.

Can she not send money for formula surely she won't see her son starve?

Reach out on local marketplace groups, it's uplifting to see the amount people help and care. Xx

Good for you and well done for looking for support. I hope something someone has suggested helps you.

You have made some huge assumptions here

Bad parents don’t contact social services themselves.

Hope you have managed to get sorted for today. But definitely reach out to social services first thing tomorrow morning. They do not remove children from parents asking for help.

No… I don’t think you’ve read all of my comments.
I said he could set up a GoFundMe as people can be very generous.
In the example of the couple I knew who were heroin users, people didn’t want to donate money but they did buy the formula/nappies/clothes instead.

Most people will which is why his local Facebook group is best bet while sorting out benefits and healthy start vouchers.

Go fund me is stupid he just needs some milk until benefits and healthy start vouchers are sorted most people will buy a tub of milk for a baby if its put on local Facebook group.

I often see on the parenting pages on Facebook people offering a ton of formula their baby didn’t get on with. It’s definitely worth putting a post on the local groups asking if anyone has anything to spare.

Is there a local Facebook group for where you live? Where I live, someone would only need to post a message asking for help to be inundated with support. Hope you get sorted ok.

Yes ask on Facebook or the Nextdoor app and you will get local people helping you.

Get in touch with your local Citizens Advice. They’ll help sort your payments and hopefully get you a crisis grant and food bank voucher (including baby milk).

You got this. You aren’t failing your son, the system is failing you having the support you need to give him the best start.

Where do you live? Some might have more local advice.

Hang in there Dad. Most important job in world parenting and your DS has a father who loves him. It’s hard. Normal to think you’re failing but you’ve stepped up and got this. 💙 🫶🏻

It’s really almost unbelievable isn’t it…

Hello 👋
Hope you & baby are OK? I'm in Wales, if you're close by I will drop off some formula for you ❤️

Your baby is lucky..he has your love and protection. For formula milk, ive no idea. For free food try your local community fridge ...no need to get permission, just go along and theyll give you free food. Also for tonight you might find somene on Olio nearby. These are individuals who collect left over food from supermarkets and you go to their house and get it. If you download the olio app it will show if anything you want is available in your area. Good luck.

Where are you in Wales? If South Wales, then I can share some options.

@MyLivelySquid please do tell us where in Wales you are. Lots of people are willing to help.

Are you in social housing? If so, speak to your housing officer about a food bank referral. They may also be able to apply for some grants that help with things like baby products ETC. Also, it’s ok to speak to social care, they are honestly not in the habit of removing children from loving parents and will honestly just want to help you. I work in social housing so have experience of people in your situation, and that involves working with social workers regularly and they won’t take your son away so please don’t be afraid to ask for help. Also, check out www.entitled to.co.uk to see if you’re entitled to any additional benefits, as you may be entitled to something as a single parent. Does your local council have a drop in shop? If so, they can help with food vouchers ETC. Keep us posted.

Maybe reach out to your local Mosque/Gurdwara as PPs have suggested, I know Mosques will generally provide you with formula/necessities if you are in need and Gurdwaras give out free food every day. It's also a good idea to ask on local Facebook groups. Do you have any family who can support you, including maternal grandma who it sounds like has taken in your baby's mum?

I have been a live in nanny for two single fathers so it is not unheard of. Can you get a live in aupair? You need to go to work full time

Download the Olio app, people collect the out of date food from supermarkets and give it away on there. Won’t be baby milk, but will be food for you.

Agreed. I can't believe you let the mother of your tiny child move away alone, would it not have made more sense to go together? Can you not move back where you came from?

I’m not sure if anyone’s suggested it yet but if you’re on universal credit you can apply for a small loan through them. It’s really easy, you can do it instantly on your uc online account and then they take a small amount off your future uc payments until it’s payed back (iirc you choose over how long you pay it back)

Hopefully not a scam and OP gets in touch with the help signposted but no, scammers never ask for money directly.

The idea is to get people DMing them.