Active discussions

Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you mind if your partner left you on holiday ?

242 replies

inkyspells · 30/06/2026 20:40

Pretty much that
Today he has just gone around the pool talking to everyone.
I have been in the pool but then I got out to get some shade.
i have asked him to spend some time with me and he just said “you know what I’m like,I like to talk to people”
I said I know that,and you talk to people of course
Can you spend time with me too?
Fell on deaf ears
He is still in the pool talking to everyone
Would it bother you ?

OP posts:
MegMortimer · 30/06/2026 20:41

Has he got form for doing this, OP?

2chocolateoranges · 30/06/2026 20:41

Not at all, I’d happily sit and read my book ,

SideboobToYouToo · 30/06/2026 20:43

Absolutely not, I'd be quite happy on my own for a while, in fact I'd order a lovely cocktail and read my book.

Original poster
inkyspells · 30/06/2026 20:43

I don’t mind being on my own for a while but 4 hours I’ve sat by myself

OP posts:
rwalker · 30/06/2026 20:43

What’s the need to be joined at the hip
my wife always takes herself off for a walk at some point point in the day and I’ll go for a run
sorry I’d find that suffocating and needy

Original poster
inkyspells · 30/06/2026 20:44

I don’t need to be joined at the hip
I would like to spend some time with him and not sat by myself for 5 hours

OP posts:
Iliketulips · 30/06/2026 20:44

How long have you been together? Quite a lot of people enjoy sitting by the pool for a bit, but like to go on day trips, potter around local resort, having coffee out, visiting local attractions or shopping. Maybe he is bored, and needs to go do something else.

TheAnnoyingSatsuma · 30/06/2026 20:45

Do the other people want to be talked with? Can’t abide people who inflict their conversations on others, uninvited.
Enjoy your peace and quiet!

JazzySeal · 30/06/2026 20:46

Is he drunk? Did you two fight? Do you annoy each other and need some time apart? 5 hours seems like a long time to talk to anyone!

ShanghaiDiva · 30/06/2026 20:47

It would not bother me. We often do different things when we are on holiday eg different day trips etc.
However, if I requested during the day that we did x together and he carried on talking to other people and ignoring the suggestion then I would consider that rude.

NuffSaidSam · 30/06/2026 20:49

It wouldn't bother me to be left in peace. It would bother me that he was 'that guy' at the pool! That would give me the major ick. Ideally, I'd want him doing his own thing quietly somewhere so that I can have peace and quiet, but he's not annoying everyone else round the pool.

But all of that is irrelevant anyway. It bothers you...and that's the issue.

anotherdaytosmile · 30/06/2026 20:50

Thats a long time for him to be talking to other people, especially when you’ve asked him to be with you. There surely must be more to this? Just so odd.

Original poster
inkyspells · 30/06/2026 20:50

I think I’m annoyed more because I’ve asked him to come for a walk on the beach with me or just come sit with me and he’s said no
He’s had a few drinks like he did the other day so is Loud and being a little annoying

OP posts:
Original poster
inkyspells · 30/06/2026 20:51

No there’s been no arguments
he hust always does this

OP posts:
Hayley1256 · 30/06/2026 20:52

This wouldn't really bother me as I like to read my book.

palran · 30/06/2026 20:53

I'm sorry OP, but I smiled at this. When DP and I go away we nearly spend every bloody day apart! Not because we are ignoring or neglecting each other, it's just that we like to do different things during the day anyway. So I take myself off on the local bus, hunt out the different markets, go to see historical sites and so on. Himself, loves to sit on the terrace/balcony with a book and a beer and chill out.

I'm not a huge fan of sitting around a pool or on the beach, neither is DP but he definitely doesn't like gadding about every day either!

Then we've lots to talk about at dinner/drinks that evening/night. We do see each other at breakfast, maybe lunch a few days, and every night for dinner, but other than that we more or less do our own thing.

The difference may be that you feel he is flirting/chatting/socialising with others but not you. I think you could leave him to it, and be glad in some ways that he is not a grump, not a drunk, not horrible and be proud of him for that, and try to be more self reliant.

BruFord · 30/06/2026 20:55

I can see why it's annoying after several hours, especially as you've invited him for a walk on the beach and he prefers to gab with total strangers.

Having said that, DH and I do sometimes do different activities on holiday, especially if it's a city break.

ifonly4 · 30/06/2026 21:01

I would mind if he just went off unexpectedly for hours, yes. However, we've been together 30+ years, so tend to discuss what we're doing with the day. If we both want to do totally different things, we accept and agree to meet up later for a drink/doing something in particular. Sometimes there's a compromise and we do what the other wants - actually not really a compromise as at around 60, we're up for trying something different. Putting that aside, both of us would be really bored sat by the pool all day (not a criticism, OP) - we both love reading/people watching but would do it at different locations - especially on holidays where you can chill with views of a local town/architecture/mountain/beach.#

Maybe have a chat with him tonight, ask him what he'd like to do.

Beamsss · 30/06/2026 21:03

My DP loves a chat, me less so. I recognise this is part of who he is, and frankly am happy to let others entertain him for part of the day while I enjoy some time with my book.

He does listenl if I say hang on you're supposed to spend sonlme time with me, and since we've had that chst a couple of times is aware when he's abandoned me for too long, but don't think havimg some time to do what he enjoys on holiday is terrible.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/06/2026 21:06

I blab on to all and sundry (often adopting people who want that). But if DH wanted to walk down the beach, I would. Because much as I love new people, I love DH (and spending time with him) much more.

I’d be sad. And I’m very independent and self sufficient.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/06/2026 21:07

Theeyeballsinthesky · 30/06/2026 21:05

Is this the same poster?

Shit OP, good luck being married.

Minasama · 30/06/2026 21:08

One of my friends suffers hugely with this. It really upsets her and makes her feel very insecure.

I don’t have an answer except talk to him and maybe see if you can agree some kind of split of the time - he spends an hour with you then goes off and talks to people.

Some people are just gregarious and like talking to other people than their partner. But it takes an exceptional partner to not get bored/angry/insecure about this.

Ilikewinter · 30/06/2026 21:10

Oh dear OP, maybe you could have replied to one of the 459 posts on your other thread rather than starting a new one. I'm not sure there's anything new for anyone to say!

mondaytosunday · 30/06/2026 21:12

No. I assume he eats with you. But if he’s happy buzzing around chatting and you chilling it wouldn’t bother me at all. But four hours - no lunch?

Swipe left for the next trending thread