“I’ll get my mum in”

[HotandSteamy]

Without sounding like an episode of Motherland.
DH and I work fulltime (professional jobs) and have to manage a tight diary with kids.
The last few weeks were always planned to be busy- GCSEs, work experience and school runs for a primary school child. All planned carefully as we both have to travel but always deconflict diaries. We both arranged to stay local and take leave for the odd day.
Until of course my husband “had” to travel.
and the solution as always was
“I’ll get my mother in…..” Marvellous.

so I like my MIL and it’s very kind for her to come but it makes my life actually harder not easier whilst he is away.
Another bed to change
More consideration about what to cook for dinner when I do get home from work
The house needs to be kept tidier
Polite conversation to make in the evening when I’m tired and monosyllabic
She is here for the whole week…

But the worse thing is the poor poppet (my DH) appeared for 24 hours before flying out again and reverted to being 10 again with his mother in the house. Needed a “lie in” whilst I got up again at 6am, did packed lunches, and took two kids to exams and work experience on 6 hours sleep myself.

so now frazzled and pissed off. The mental load is large.

”I’ll get my mother in” is not the easy way out and why do men revert to being even more useless when their mother is around.

Grrrr and breathe

I get it Op! My husband tries to minimise his absences with offers of help that don't amount to the type of help I'd actually appreciate.
I get that he has no choice but the reverting to being a child would drive me round the bend. My husband does this too. When his parents come to stay, he will even take naps on the couch and his parents expect us all to creep around him so as not to disturb his sleep. Drives me nuts! I haven't had more than 3 hrs sleep in a row in 2.5 years (discounting the heartburn during pregnancy which had me awake for 6 months!) while he has slept in the spare room, getting full nights' sleeps the whole time. Never mind when he's working away!!!

Bloody men & their mothers!

Have you had this conversation with him about him substituting himself with his mum - so he can travel without any earache - is that the idea?

What exactly does she do while she's at yours? Do you think she actually enjoys staying or is it his way of involving his mum in your lives to keep her occupied?

Does she ever come & stay to make life easier for him, to help him out so you can have a break?

In an ideal world, what do you need to fill in the gaps when he's away that would make your life more manageable?