Do you do small talk?

[littlemousewithcrocson]

I never really understand what people mean when they say they don’t like doing it. Don’t we all do it instinctively whenever we meet someone we have to interact with? What would you rather do in that circumstance?

Through voluntary work I speak too a wide range of people and spoke to a person at length and they told me I had really cheered them up and made their day.
I don't speak to people for compliments but it was nice to be appreciated.

the trick is you don't have to say much, instead you make a space for the other person to share. Ask them safe questions, identify a mututal interest and encourage them to expand on it, say something funny to show you are friendly, be attentive when they talk. So many people are lonely that many will seize on the opportunity to have a bit of human contact.

Honestly IT.IS.SO.EASY to get most other people to talk, especially about themselves or their own opinions. You don't have to agree to listen attentively, view the situation as a finding-out-about-the-world opportunity. Most will also about anything on their minds. Show an interest, make it clear you're listening, you find many people can't shut up once they are going.

I think this just proves that people mean different things when they say Smalltalk.

Social filler (weather , perhaps chatting about trivial things in the surrounding area) versus light but genuinely interested getting to know someone conversation.

Ds. He's basically mute, until he can interject with something heavy, such makes it difficult when trying to get to know people.

I think he thinksI'm hopelessly superficial and heartless. I'm not; I just don't want every conversation after work to be deep. Did that when I was a pretentious teen. Have to do it in work. I want gossip and brain free talk when I'm in the gym/ having tea/ talking to neighbours.

Yes, they clearly go straight from ‘Hello’ to the exact current situation in the Straits of Hormuz or Plutarch’s Theseus paradox.

No.

I do. I've had to learn how, because it didn't come naturally, but now I'm an absolute pro at it. My adult DC tell me that my superpower is being able to get someone's life story out of them within the first ten minutes of meeting them, without them realising I'm doing it. It's all about showing an interest, asking the right questions, but mostly listening. It's a very useful skill in my job.

I really like small talk. I find as I've got older it becomes easier. I too find people interesting, love finding out where they were born etc.

I've made some really good friends which all started through just saying hello and progressing from there. It helps that I have a dog, although some of my friends aren't dog walkers, just people that were out for a walk.

Absolutely this. My worst 'wake up in a cold sweat' memories of social gatherings have been when when someone 'actively hosting ' has done that brutal matching me up with someone with a couple of sentences and fucking off like I'm capable of basic sentence forming to foment conversation. It is not hyperbole to say this has left me wishing to drop dead rather than suffer the excruciating torment of the ensuing moments.

No

I don't love it, I take in our food shop each week and we have a few different drivers I see regularly. Some like to chat, others don't I don't mind I just like to know which is which. I have some stock chit chat about the weather and such which I give to the guys who seem to like to chat I don't hate being friendly but small talk is something I have to prepare myself for. I haven't been to a hair salon in 20 years because I dislike the small talk so much. I am interested in other people but its just getting to the place where you can actually have a proper conversation. I'd say I am not a big talker in general and probably ask more questions and listen and probably don't give to much about myself away. Its not really by design its just how I am.

I haven't been to a hair salon in 20 years because I dislike the small talk so much.

I have a short layered bob that I can't cut and colour myself. Long, grey straggly thin hair doesn't suit me so I go to the hairdresser regularly.

If I don't feel like talking I just say "do you mind if I just read my book". No-one is offended.

I absolutely detest small talk. The only time I can manage it is if they have a dog and I can ask them about that.

I have autism and really struggle in the majority of social situations. I'm fine online as I don't need to worry about eye contact, body language etc.

Exactly. I’m very fond of my hairdresser, but she’s absolutely happy if I just say ‘I’m just going to read today, I’m all talked out from work.’ They get tired of it too!

I am ‘good’ (is that the word? I do it a lot 😂) at small talk. I am a grade A yapper plus I absolutely HATE for anyone to feel awkward or on the outs so I talk to draw people in. If I get nothing back, that’s cool, I won’t pester or anything like that, but if I make people feel more comfortable or welcome or just generally brighter for having a bit of a chat, that’s enough for me! At risk of sounding like a bit of a twerp, it’s actually something I’m quite proud of about myself and something people have commented on in the past.

If it helps, I don't think anybody does! It is a sort of guessing game and impression of somebody's personality type I think, then going from there. I think after that it is easier, as you can follow up on things you last talked about eg how's your Mum doing now etc.

I don't like the banality of it, I struggle with saying things for the sake of it. At the same time I seem to attract people who want to talk about 'the ins and outs of a cats arse' as granny used to say. They pour out all there problems and the problems of everyone else they know . This is why as in another thread today, I don't want to talk to the neighbours. My Husband doesn't really like it either but because of his work he is very good at it and quite convincing.

I can do it and I used to do it but I don't bother any more. I've become more comfortable with the silence and less tolerant of the banality of it, and I don't care what people think of me so I don't make the effort to do things that bring no benefit to me.

I do. I'll talk to anyone.

I’d prefer not to. Sometimes if cornered.

Omg this is me! I hate small talk but will happily go for deep and meaningful. The sooner it gets there the better.

I’m the one at a dinner party who is always eternally grateful to be to be sat next to a ranter or a nutjob because at least they’ll be interesting. Can’t stand fucking dull conversations about kitchen renovations, dogs, kids or where you had great tapas on holiday 🥱

I was taught to, and I can do it. But it isn't enjoyable to me.

I like giving and receiving small talk, I think it's good manners.
If it's not reciprocated I shut up 😁

I’m good at small talk but can’t stand it. Find it pointless and as I get older I’m avoiding it like the plague. Give me a gutsy heartfelt conversation anytime.

Sometimes yes. Depends what about and how bored I am. Also, if it’s a means to an end, of course!