Do 99% of men think about someone else while DTD?

[Salsa2026]

Just that really. Lots of people, here and in general say things like, “all men fantasise about other women during sex at the very least sometimes”. And when I say all I really mean the vast majority, as there can always be an exception to everything.

If it’s true I think it’s quite grim tbh and makes me glad I’m not in a relationship. I’d want a man to be all about me 🤣

I thought about another woman when I was with my husband...

Equally it also doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not thinking of his partner, maybe he’s into her 🤷‍♀️

You can be "into" someone (I assume you mean sexually and generally attracted) and still find other sexual thoughts exciting.

Equally you can find someone quite boring to have sex with and still think about only them during sex. One has basically nothing to do with the other.

In any event, you'll never know if it's 10% of men or 90% of men (nor the same for women) as so few people will answer truthfully that the data would be meaningless. So there's no point being upset or worrying about it.

i don’t see why every single man has to be thinking of someone else if he finds the woman he’s with attractive?

Every single man doesn’t have to. Not every time either.

But at least once a minimum of once everyone will think of something other than their partner during sex. Be it the tiles. The shopping another person.

I honestly wouldn't worry about it. It's only seeming to upset you and if it's easier for you to think noone you slept with could do this, that is fine.

How old are you op?

30

Love Chris Hemsworth

Because sexual variety is exciting for many people. Surely several decades of silent and soulful eye gazing while chugging away gets a bit old?

Yes, because all men across the entire world are exactly the same and can always be relied upon to react exactly the same way in all circumstances.

Or, just maybe, different men react in different ways. Some men probably fantasise a lot. Most men, I'd suspect, fantasise sometimes but by no means always. And some men never do.

Gosh, it's almost like men are actual human beings with different experiences, backgrounds, hopes and desires and not just a homogenous mass of identical beings!

Not every time no but I'd guess most people have a quick fantasy from time to time.

I once called out another man’s name - needless to say I ended up in the dog house!

I like this post very much and it's certainly true of me, though in my case it's rescuing cats from burning buildings and committing other acts of great heroism. It's nice to have a private space where one's thoughts can roam free and no one has to know - sex or otherwise

No, that's not how it works.

Why do you need to ask here then?

If you can tell...

Most of the women I've slept with, as they approach orgasm (whether during PIV or foreplay) go into a place of absolute, total self-absorption. They close their eyes, their breathing changes, muscles brace, they guide what they need from me with firm directness. During that time I wouldn't honestly have the first clue who or what they're thinking about.

Sex is give and take, sequentially. This idea that you're so into each other every action, reaction and even thought is an expression of mutually is one of those idealistic stories society tells to sanitise it, like simultaneous orgasm.

Are you a teenager?

Most people aren’t “all over” their spouses or long term partners. The lust wears away and life gets busy.

Just because you choose the person you want to have a family and life with, doesn’t mean you instantly find everyone else unattractive. It’s ok to have the odd sexual thought about other people, it’s not like it’s cheating and it’s harmless!

If someone is looking into your eyes... Talking to you .. Calling your name... Laughing with you, stroking your face etc... Id say they are probably not thinking about anyone else

Yup. That's how I like it personally. Each to their own though.

Do you never just... Fancy something a bit less pg13?

Agreed. This, every time, for the rest of your life?

I'd also be quite irritated by someone stroking my face 🤣

Soulful eye gazing while chugging away wouldn't get a second night with me 😂

I agree with OP and the few others who say you can tell when the person you're having sex with is 'elsewhere'. Also when he's into porn.

All my in-the-moment fantasies have been about me & him, right there. I'll act 'em out if they don't require many props. I don't expect to be rewarded with some absent-minded 'chugging'.

Yeah I completely appreciate it's horses for courses. And I'm not adverse to a bit of romantic sex. But the idea of someone stroking my face & "calling my name" every time I have a shag from now until when I die? Not for me. I don't think this is how most people have sex either! Although tbf I find kissing a bit gross so, as I said, I do recognise that everyone is different 😂