He said my sister's name

[Zebrabottle]

I can't believe that this happened. It's like a bad film cliche. But last night when DH and I were having sex, he said my sister's name!
I know it sounds like something out of EastEnders but it genuinely happened, and I have had a sleepless night as a result.
I challenged him on it, and then that made it worse because at first he denied it and then said it was a joke.
I thought our marriage was fine. I love my sister. I have a good relationship with her (I think). There has never been any suspicion of my DH in any way let alone with her.

I have changed my name for this thread because I know she uses Mumsnet sometimes. I don't know what to do. It could genuinely have been a joke of his. Or, horribly, a fantasy of some kind. Or obviously the worst possible scenario (which would ruin my life).

Should I mention it to my sister? Mention it to him again? Let it drop?

Her name flitted through his mind whilst having sex. Maybe he thinks she is attractive, I wouldn't fixate on it. All these women saying dump him, much worse could have gone through their partners heads, they just didnt say it. Too much pearl clutching.

It's a blip, sounds like your relationship is great aside from that. Glad you have worked it out.

Yeah I can be quite bad for it, I do it quite a lot in the middle of movies etc. Or just in the middle of conversations. Things just pop into my head, sometimes at not quite the right times 😂 x

Ew. Can’t believe you slept with him again before even talking this out! 🤢 he was clearly thinking about your sister. Of course he will never admit it. I’d never get this out of my head now.

I'd let it drop but definitely be extra vigilant. It could have just been accidental. Several years ago my husband 's coughing woke me up in the middle of the night and I said "Are you all right Dave" but his name's Paul. I have no idea why I called him Dave. I didn't even know anyone called Dave!

Well if he had mentioned it to her OP you would have really had grounds to be concerned about the closeness of their relationship.

I'm glad at least he brought the subject up and discussed it with you and that you are a bit reassured.. But you are right to be vigilant going forward.

We did talk it out. I believed him. I sleep with him most nights. But, you know, you do you.

It's a good job it's not you married to him then, eh! 🌞

If it felt right to you, OP, then fine! I just hope you weren't quietly worried about what he was thinking.

Unlike him I only have my mind on one thing during those particular moments!
But on the two occasions since I have been secretly pleased afterwards. Although like I said before he'd have to be a special grade of idiot to have it happen again even if he was thinking it.

You've been secretly pleased that he didn't shout someone elses name?

I was going to put 'relieved' but didn't want to in that context in case someone thought it was a double entendre.

Ah ok. So you think it's amusing now.

I think it's called having a sense of proportion! 🌞

Yes I must say considering how upset and worried you appeared to be OP it's quite surpring how your recent posts suggest you now think the whole thing was quite funny.

So you're OK with him thinking about your sister as long as he doesn't say it outloud?

Cool, whatever floats your boat. You do you OP.

Maybe it's a reverse? Maybe OP is actually the husband wanting to figure out if we thought it was OK for him to say his SiLs name?

I was upset and worried. Then we had a chat. Now I am a lot less upset and worried.

Not sure about you but that's normally how the world works for me.

Ah right. Snide dig to boot

Not sure what your problem is to be honest. OP had an issue, asked for advice. Took the advice, spoke to her husband, resolved the issue to her satisfaction.

Not sure why you're having a go at her to be honest. Is resolving an issue like an adult not providing you with enough drama for your morning Mumsnet doomscroll?

Sorry what. Morning doom scroll. What are you talking about
What's your issue?

I doubt she wants to think he's thinking that.

Obviously whatever he said has reassured her.

I think personally I would take more reassuring than a chat - and wouldn't be sleeping with him that fast - but ultimately I guess Op has to make a choice to get on with it or not. She can't unhappen it.

Yes I get that you have talked about things and he has set your mind at rest.
But to go to joking about double entendres and implying you don't even care if he is thinking about your sister during sex so long as he doesn't let you know about it seems quite a volte- face.

Fair enough.

Is there a reason you put that icon at the end of every post you make?

I didn't think it was a reverse at all .. But then again a reverse has to be blindingly obvious for me to recognise one as such
.
I just thought OP's initial response to her further discussion with her H was reasonable and a goid outcome.
But the thread has taken a turn which I certainly expect. But it's OP's thread so fair enough.

I didn't realise you were following my every post. I don't blame you, they are really good! 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞