Page 6 | He said my sister's name

PrincessOfPreschool · 28/04/2026 22:03

DH sometimes goes through all 3 children's names and the dog's before finally remembering mine! (Admittedly not during sex). I often call DD by my sister's name and vice versa. I think it's quite easy to mix up names.

Namingbaba · 28/04/2026 22:07

It doesn’t look good but it might not be something terrible. Some people can be a bit scatter brain.

Nothankyov · 28/04/2026 22:09

JustGiveMeTheNoodles · 28/04/2026 15:56

Do people actually use names when having sex

Yes, of course they use names! What else would you use?

OP - I think what people have said that maybe he fancies your sister or someone with the same name is a possibility. If it had been me it would bother me.

I disagree with the idea that you think of someone else during sex if you have a long term partner… but what do I know.

I’m sorry it’s obviously upsetting

Morepositivemum · 28/04/2026 22:29

I sometimes have random thoughts come in like ‘oh crap I have to get x or y tomorrow’- there is hopefully the chance that he randomly thought of your sister and the name came out

NotThisShitAgain121 · 28/04/2026 22:38

Fuck him off

Screamingabdabz · 28/04/2026 22:47

He was clearly fantasising about her. It’s whether you can get over it or not. If it was some unobtainable famous hottie then that’s one thing, but to fancy your sister is a bit close to home. It would be for me. I’m not sure I could get past it.

Brownbl · 28/04/2026 22:51

PurpleNightingale · 28/04/2026 18:29

@Zebrabottle I may be going against the grain here, but mixing up family members happens a lot when we speak in our family. Sometimes I call my son by the dogs name, or my MIL calls my husband by her brothers name, or my Mum would shout the wrong kids name.
If this is what happened it would be the most awful timing ever but its definitely possible for people's brain to make innocent connections between family members without it meaning he was thinking dirty thoughts about her.

Agree.
The timing is really unfortunate but i constantly call people the wrong name, i always have.

My husbands name is Mark and I have called him Mum. I don't know why, its weird.

I can understand it stinging, but it really could be a genuine mix up.

Yeswoman · 28/04/2026 22:59

I know it hurts but does it actually matter? They're always fantasising about someone, aren't they? I think we would be kidding ourselves if we thought otherwise. It doesn't mean he actually would do anything but it's probably just part of some weird forbidden fantasy?

Wheresthebeach · 28/04/2026 23:16

Jeez that’s awful and icky. I wouldn’t tell your sister, she’d end up feeling really uncomfortable around him. The gaslighting is bad, I’d ask to see his phone. He can’t laugh it off, you deserve a grown up conversation

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 28/04/2026 23:22

bellhawk · 28/04/2026 21:54

If it's a common name, and you're not suspicious of your sister, it's more likely he was referring to someone else. Maybe a colleague, friend's partner, an acquaintance? Either way he denied it and tried to take it back - which says something about guilt.

Yes I wouldn't jump to it being your sister if it's a common name. It could be someone he's chatting with online for example.

RussetMoon · 28/04/2026 23:26

The other day I called my good friend by another name. It just randomly popped out in conversation and I don’t even know anyone by that name. I immediately corrected myself and we both laughed. So weird.
Given everything you’ve said, I really wouldn’t jump to any conclusions. Our brains are weird sometimes. He may have fleetingly thought of your sister earlier in the evening in a completely unsexual way and her name was just in his head - something like that.

His reaction is probably his way of trying to make light of what feels very awkward. Clumsy and insensitive - but not necessarily suspicious.

itsraining2024 · 28/04/2026 23:28

I remember reading thread like this last year. Guy did it on purpose to annoy/hurt his wife. Take of that what you will.

SpryTaupeTurtle · 28/04/2026 23:32

Zebrabottle · 28/04/2026 09:28

Thank you all. It is a pretty common name, but he used a short version of it that he uses when he talks to her as well, which makes me doubt it's someone else with the same name (think Catherine/Kate).

He definitely wasn't joking. He said he was but that came after the original denial. He was clearly thinking about my sister or someone with the same shortened name. Urgh.

He probably fancies her. Or maybe he has an ex with the same name

Alwaystired101 · 28/04/2026 23:41

My ex was the biggest twat in the world but even he wouldnt have done that during sex.... hes said before why didnt I get tits like her but again not during sex or I would have clenched his man hood off

Papster · Yesterday 00:10

Notthegodofsmallthings · 28/04/2026 19:40

It's actually pretty common and normal to call out someone else's name during sex and it does not mean the person is thinking about that person or having sex with them. Your husband probably felt awful/embarrassed and that may be why he said he was joking.

Please don't get upset or worry over this OP, it was most likely just a genuine human brain glitch that could happen to any of us.

I know we are a minority on here but I don’t think anyone is rational at point of climax.
Brains do weird things.
I certainly wouldn’t be rushing to a solicitor as some on here have suggested or implied.

BerryTwister · Yesterday 01:22

DisappointedofMeryton · 28/04/2026 18:42

I do the same, but the OP said he tried to make out it was a joke. That would be a deliberate mis-naming, not a mistake/slip of the tongue.

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Actually I think if I accidentally said the wrong name, I’d probably instinctively say it was a joke.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · Yesterday 01:23

Papster · Yesterday 00:10

I know we are a minority on here but I don’t think anyone is rational at point of climax.
Brains do weird things.
I certainly wouldn’t be rushing to a solicitor as some on here have suggested or implied.

Edited

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Did you miss the part where he told her he said it as a joke?

SpryTaupeTurtle · Yesterday 01:23

Normal to call out someone else's name during sex. Never done it in my life and it's never happened to me. No it's not normal in the slightest.

SpryTaupeTurtle · Yesterday 01:33

Zebrabottle · 28/04/2026 07:43

I can't believe that this happened. It's like a bad film cliche. But last night when DH and I were having sex, he said my sister's name!
I know it sounds like something out of EastEnders but it genuinely happened, and I have had a sleepless night as a result.
I challenged him on it, and then that made it worse because at first he denied it and then said it was a joke.
I thought our marriage was fine. I love my sister. I have a good relationship with her (I think). There has never been any suspicion of my DH in any way let alone with her.

I have changed my name for this thread because I know she uses Mumsnet sometimes. I don't know what to do. It could genuinely have been a joke of his. Or, horribly, a fantasy of some kind. Or obviously the worst possible scenario (which would ruin my life).

Should I mention it to my sister? Mention it to him again? Let it drop?

Why the hell would you mention it to your sister. He's the one being an arse here - not her. Urgh. Honestly. He's an absolute idiot. She's not to blame for his idiotic behaviour. He then denied it and then said it was a joke. What a creep

MorningWoodEdging · Yesterday 02:17

This is summat that in my opinion has more to it, 💯 id be questioning, more common than ppl think tbh

IsThatAHedgehog · Yesterday 02:24

Between DP, 3 kids, 3 cats and my best friend, I am constantly calling people/cats the wrong name. I cycle through them sometimes til I get the right one.

I have to admit, it's never happened when I just had sex with DP though.

Having said that, once during sex I said "I wonder if DD BF will give us a lift into town tomorrow" to which my DP replied "dya think we can talk about this afterwards?"

So minds can wander I guess. Mine could be the ADHD though.

This was probably the least helpful or relevant comment in this thread- sorry

TheBrynGhost · Yesterday 03:19

Zebrabottle · 28/04/2026 17:55

They are about as close as I am to his brother, I would say (to be clear I am not shagging his brother!). They get on alright, never to my knowledge meet without me being there. They are the same age but then again I am two years younger and what difference does it make at 40?

I just couldn't see my sister doing this. She is married too, never had any kind of chat with me about other blokes ever. Right back to when we were teenagers I've never known her be unfaithful to a partner or be particularly voracious around men or whatever. Just typical stuff like me. We don't discuss her sex life much but what we have discussed doesn't make me think it's a problem.

And my husband has never done anything like this before either. I have never even suspected any other women. We get on fine, have regular good sex, don't argue. He doesn't behave in a way which makes me suspicious (til last night). Oh dear.

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I know what you stated upthread about being certain it was your sister he defaulted to but are you sure it not another woman altogether and he realised and tried to make a joke about it being your sister ? The example you gave (Catherine/Kate) is still pretty common.

I would still be thinking OW.

TheBrynGhost · Yesterday 03:37

Notthegodofsmallthings · 28/04/2026 19:40

It's actually pretty common and normal to call out someone else's name during sex and it does not mean the person is thinking about that person or having sex with them. Your husband probably felt awful/embarrassed and that may be why he said he was joking.

Please don't get upset or worry over this OP, it was most likely just a genuine human brain glitch that could happen to any of us.

How on earth do you know this? No way is it common. It's common to call everyone darling so you don't fuck up. That's a standing joke/trope but common? come off it!

MorningWoodEdging · Yesterday 05:11

Common as in its not by accident that hes called out his sis name as in vommon that hes been banging the sis, just my opinion and ive known a few ppl who have found out affairs this way! obvs the sis is on his mind

DrinkFeckArseBrick · Yesterday 06:10

I think his response would make me the most suspicious. If he'd said he had no idea where it had come from, or come up with something plausible (eg you were about to leave for her birthday party and his thoughts got muddled) then I'd believe her. But only someone really cruel or really stupid would make that kind of joke in bed. Unless he has form for awful wind ups, he is lying