Hen weekend …guests can’t wear white except bride ….bit silly ?

[luluxxx]

We are going to Spain next month for 4 nights for a hen do.
We have been sent a message in the WhatsApp group that no white allowed except bride.
At first I thought she meant no white outfits for the night outfits (which is totally fine ) but she’s said no white at all.
No white vests /trainers /bikinis/cover ups /linen trousers etc etc
Now most of my vests I wear under jackets are white and my trainers are white.
Shes specified no white at all
So I’m gonna have to rethink loads of outfits as a lot of skirts for day time match with a white vest.
My linen trousers for pool days are also white etc
Do you think this is a bit ott?
I mean trainers …I only own white trainers 🙈

This is so accurate, particularly for a world where everyone who wants to be is an Instagram or a ticktock Princess. That way madness lies.

Expecting someone to not wear white trainers is wrong but no one only has white tops or white dresses etc so I don’t think there’s any expectation of needing to buy something new

I can't believe you're all putting up with this shit.

And I'd be wearing my white tops and trainers too!

Baby photos hanging up at a bar table in an airport for a hen do isn't ott? It's bloody ridiculous

Massively OTT. I can kind of understand no white dresses etc but no white trainers and other daytime clothing is just ridiculous

So if you turn up and have white trainers and the odd white vest top are they going to send you away? F that...I've got a hen with a prescriptive set of colours/dress code, I'm going to swim around the edges because I'm not buying a whole new load of clothes for it,costing enough as it is!

Actually, my wardrobe for 4 hot days in Spain is pretty small. I have some fab white linen trousers that I’d be sad not to wear. Who does the bride want attention from? The Hens surely, and they know who she is regardless of what anyone’s wearing. Or does the bride need to be a white glow amid all her non-white clothed hens so that all around knows she’s getting married?

No way would I be agreeing to that, especially if it meant buying new things, on top of a ready pricey hen do.

Is this part of the new “ticky tocky” madness perchance?

(ie. all for photos? I really dislike this modern obsession with constant photos)

The baby photos at the bar at the airport: won’t it be just a tinsy bit awkward? Mind you, perhaps it will be an interesting - if puzzling - distraction for the numbed-mindless travellers milling around.

Have fun in the sun, OP ☀️

But she's not the boss of you. Wear what you want. I'd extend my generosity and not wear a white dress on one evening. And the rest she can get to fuck

I’d be interested to know the ages of the Mumsnetters who think this sort of behaviour is normal.

So would I.

I agree that there is too much focus on photos and social media these days.

While I wouldn't wear a white dress, I wouldn't bow down to ridiculous demands, and if challenged would say that I'm happy not to be in the photos and videos.

Not normal actually.

Honestly its part of for the course these days - I’m just saying to take a deep breath and go with it rather than go into it pissed off.

Ridiculous. Social media seems to have made a lot of young women so narcissistic. These people are meant to be the brides friends, not her props. It's a disgusting way to treat people.

Have you all told her no yet?

@1836laura - in what universe is it ‘normal’ to dictate what all your friends wear for the duration of a days-long hen-do? Bearing in mind that they have already taken precious annual leave and shelled out £££ to come with you!

As @Naunet says - these are supposed to be her friends, not props for her instagram/tiktok. It is pure narcissism to decide you can dictate what your friends wear.

When I had my hen do, what mattered was spending time with the group of women I was close to and loved - I valued them and our time together.

Yes it is a bit silly and over the top and an inconvenience but as hendos go I think it’s fairly tame. The last 2 hendos I’ve been apart of I would much rather that be the rule than some of the stuff I was apart of

Not everyone has the budget to buy new trainers or summer clothes when they already have perfectly decent clothes and trainers

I've never heard anything so controlling and ridiculous in my entire 60 years.

The whole wedding industry has gone to hell in a handcart.

Insta and TT aren't going to care in 20 years.

No it's not "normal" in any accepted sense of the word. Not for a hen do let alone a whole holiday.
What's wrong with these women

It's the hen party anywY not the wedding. No white at the ceremony sure.. 4 days in the sun... No rules. FFS.

So much this. I got married mid 90s and we had a spa day and pizza at my MoHs house. What mattered was being with my best friends. I don't think anyone photos exist.
DH had beers and a curry .

Just quietly take your white vest tops and trainers and wear them with no fuss and no ceremony. Take options as well, in case she does genuinely kick off - but I reckon once shes on the hen do she won’t even realise.

All this wedding and hen mania: it’s got to be a result of social media, hasn’t it? People seeing silly ideas somewhere random on social media and then making it normal. The constant image-driven attention-seeking. I find it very bizarre. I just wonder what such people do in their real lives. Apart from issuing ridiculous edicts like this? One could almost feel sorry for them. This TikTok mania is surely something young people need to resist??