I dont have to be a grand-nanny.

[WaryBlueFish]

I dont feel obligated to provide full time childcare to grandchildren and here is why. I am a 110% mother. I devoted my life to my kids. I worked full time but still managed to run a clean, happy organized home with family dinners every night despite the multitude of activities my kids were in. I did it all and I completely lost myself in the process. I have zero regrets, but that doesnt mean I am now willing to sign the rest of my life over to the next generation. I am happy to be the back up, to show up for their sports and events, to cover emergencies like snow days and holidays. I may even consider being "summer camp". But no, I am not doing a FT care job. I did my time. I am tired. I deserve to look forward to an actual retirement in 7 years.

I had the nerve to post and then go to a meeting! I am not a re-poster and I didnt know this was such a common theme here. I spend far too much time here but not this week due to travel. I was responding to a post I saw in the top ten, but again didnt realize it was one of multiples. Anyway, I seem to have woken the beasts and for that I am sorry, I guess, but I am sticking to my OP.

And for there ones accusing me of being a multi-poster, I am actually more of a lurker here. I do have another login but its on my desktop PC and I dont log in much from there.

You parented the children you decided to have. Well done 👏

What is going on?! Why are there so many threads in a similar vein?

'We've already done our bit!' while positively baulking at he thought of supporting your children.

I mean, just say no.

What's with all this all or nothing rubbish at the moment?

Do you want to look after your grandchildren only on a Tuesday? Talk to your child about it. Do you not want to see them at all? Tell your child.

I don't know anyone whose parents do 100% of the childcare for their children.

Have you even been asked or do you just like arguing with anonymous strangers on the internet?

She isn't disinterested

Sadly it’s a fairly normal thing nowadays.

Nobody cares, OP.
You’re just yet another disinterested grandparent on here, of which there are many.
Much like my parents are with my children (and no, I don’t ask for childcare. I wouldn’t trust them to babysit my kids).

Funny though as I remember them being all to happy to ship us off to the grandparents when we were little, but suddenly they’ve “done their time and want to enjoy being older” 🤔

No need for all this angst. I have told my DC that I won't be providing regular childcare as I intend to travel and see friends. I will help for date nights, illnesses and emergencies. Just put it out there before they rely on you.

Oh also, I have already saved for a care home, before anyone threatens me that my DC won't care for me!

What happens when you need your children to help care for you in old age?
Show up now or regret it later. You reap what you sow.

Am not the OP but I have made arrangements for my own care. Don't want my kids to care for me. One may likely emigrate.

As MN has confirmed this is a genuine post, OP has said she will help in emergencies and show up at all the events. Is this not enough now?

No, apparently once you've had children that's you. You can rest when you're dead.

Does every woman get to do their own separate thread about how they will or won’t provide childcare for hypothetical grandchildren? How very fucking tedious.

I won’t be in a position to look after any grandchildren as I had my own children relatively young and so will be working full time until long after they need childcare I imagine. And that makes me really sad because I’d like to feel that I’d feel like you about it rather than like the OP!

Why not just avoid it if you find it that tedious?

Interesting how the OP is being called disinterested for balking at " full time child care".
So anything short of looking after GC 5 days a week is ' disinterested".
Got it.

Dont come looking for inheritance then

Because it is taking up the whole site at the moment making exactly the same points over and over again without subsequent engagement.

There needs to be a ‘whiny grandmas’ board added to the Childcare topic so at least all these people
who can’t use their words or discuss things with their own children like grownups can be moved and hidden.

Okay

It's todays thread.

🥱

I agree OP. Looking after small children is really really hard. I have two kids (6 & 10) and they are so much easier now but the toddler years were very tough. I hated maternity leave. Time and time on here you see women who are really struggling with motherhood and how difficult their toddler/baby is. How they are struggling to cope or just aren't enjoying it. It can be the same with Grandparents except it isn't their child to look after and also they are old - there is a reason tired is part of the word retired (I know there are lots of fit grandparents but I'm in my 40s and I'm certainly not as fit as I used to be).

Of course it's lovely if grandparents want to help out. Some people love playing/entertaining/cuddling/caring for children and some people don't. If you enjoy it and are happy to help that's amazing but we are not all cut from the same cloth. You sound reasonable and caring that you will help out now and again which I think is fair enough. I'd like to think I'd help my kids out now and again if they ever have kids but life isn't always easy and I certainly think grandparents have earned the right to wind down and enjoy their golden years.

So unnecessarily bitchy.

So which one of your kids is asking you to be full time granny or are all of them asking?

That poster is projecting her own issues.