Things you're doing in your life right now that would sound bonkers if you told anyone, but make sense to you....

[HundredsOfTinyWillies]

I'm currently stalking a man in my neighbourhood because I love his dog. I've bumped into this man and his dog twice. I've started going out at the same-ish time and walking the same-ish route in the hopes of meeting him his dog

I have a whole imaginary world in my head where I'm a former supermodel now living a quiet life in the countryside. When I'm pottering around doing household chores, I pretend Louis Theroux is following me asking me probing questions about my tough childhood and stratospherically successful career.

I plan retirement every single day. I model different scenarios with different levels of income. I look at properties in retirement communities a lot. I'm 40.

I would never say these things out loud to another human because they make me sound absolutely bonkers. But there it is.
Tell me your weirdness that you could never verbalise...

Oh yes I'm with you on the hand made horror. I've never met one I could get on with.

Planning my first date questions for a woman that I have no intention of ever asking to go on said first date.

How closed are you? I’m a few months out being able to ditch corporate life, it’s changed beyond recognition and has become impossible for a menopausal ND woman to navigate. I just want to earn enough so I don’t starve!!!

Have you tried Le Creuset mugs? I have various colours which form the hierarchy. Colour to be used depends on the drink, the time of day, and the season.

I do this too, same with the bowls and plates.
I have added a birth sign Le Cresuet mug which has annoyed my other mugs at its currently my favourite.

I had no idea there were star sign mugs! Off to buy one and make my other mugs jealous!

I absolutely love this! It’s obvious that I need to seriously upgrade my imaginary life. Happy to find inspiration.

I took a writing class and included an imaginary first husband in a short story. My actual, only husband is incredibly jealous of him. Good thing he doesn’t know about my imaginary next husband. However, we do share an imaginary caregiver for when we end up in a home. The caregiver is a Jamaican gentleman named “Daryl”.

😀😀😀

Just had a look at Le Creuset and they're very nice but too thick I think. Right kind of size though!

I alternate putting my left shoe and then my right shoe in so they don’t get jealous. If I can’t remember which foot it should be I apologies to both shoes and then have a difficult choice of which to go for.

Whne I’m walking to work I do a sports commentary as if I’m in a race. It’s always a close thing but I usually win. “And there we see her coming round the bend, we can see now the work she has put into her technique as she effortlessly pulls ahead of the others…” I’ve been doing this since I walked to school as a kid. I’m now 50! Lol

I have to count my laundry, it doesn’t matter what number it is, I just can’t do it without counting it.

I have a favourite mug and plate and fee sorry for the others that get left out

I’m assuming that, like me, nobody uses their favourite mugs for a hurried cup of tea? That’s for the reserve list, right?

Favourite mugs are saved for the leisurely cups of tea, whilst relaxing.

Oh, and I also have a favourite teaspoon.

I used to joke with my husband when we first met that the reason I can speak Russian (spoilers: I can’t actually) is because I used to be a Russian spy and then became a double agent, which is why I ended up in the UK (not that I was born here then 🙄) and really he was lucky I defected and met him.
I have a whole backstory of adventures I’ve created in my head over the years and 35 years later I’ll still throw in the odd comment a few times a year for him to roll his eyes at. For instance upon seeing a new product in the supermarket a few weeks ago, I lowered my voice to a loud whisper and said to him in a Russian accent “we had much the same thing in Moscow back in the late 80s”. Oh we I laughed!
If someone comes on the news speaking Russian with a voiceover or subtitles, he says to me “I assume you can understand that without the voiceover then?” I agree that I can but will then say something like “It still tugs at the heart strings to hear the native tongue” or “He has a strong Siberian accent though so it isn’t easy to understand”. Keeps me entertained and to be fair to him, he often plays into it too 😍

If you could just make a note, I don’t think my Mum will be able to come to the island. I’ll let her know. She lives alone and this week I counted 72 toilet rolls in her cupboard! She also has 17 boxes of tissues because she can’t remember what she’s ordered on her shopping previously but is a cantankerous old cow who won’t let anyone help her. Unforgivable hoarding behaviour if ever I heard of it 🤣

I beg to differ.
Handmade mugs are as difficult to navigate and select as mass produced ones.
Roughly half of my mugs are factory made, and the other half are made by hand. The size, shape and thickness of the mug varies although I don't like a thick mug at any time.
Sometimes I like a small, delicate, thinnish mug to drink my coffee from. But this also depends on the coffee. And when it comes to tea, I like a choice between great big mugs with large handles and full of comforting tea that I'm going to drink quite quickly because I like my tea really hot, or smaller mugs, but not small, big enough to keep the tea hot, just because it happens to be a Wednesday or something like that.
I have about 20 mugs, I think. This is far too many for one person. Occasionally somebody will come to my house and I shall offer them tea, and sometimes, they will accept. Then I have to choose which mug I'm going to give them. Some people (annoyingly) don't drink all of their drink. Then I wonder whether or not they actually wanted a drink or whether the drink was too hot or too cold or whether they are just really fussy, in which case I'm not sure I shall offer them a cup of tea next time.
I live in an area where it is not unknown for plumbers or builders to request earl grey tea.

I’m in the process of opening a yarn shop. I divide my time between spinning and dying my own yarn from my flock of sheep, and travelling to Canada to buy up plane loads of the wonderful yarn there.

As it's a couple of hours past my bedtime, I have been reading your post with interest and looking at Canadian wool, which I previously gave absolutely no thought to whatsoever.
Is there a particular kind of Canadian sheep you like best?

Putting a vote in for the classic Denby mug.

https://www.denbypottery.com/product/Imperial-Blue-Craftsman-s-Mug-001010019?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17596520785&gbraid=0AAAAAD88OONoDEo77WZ5rfRgc-EaUW4oP&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgqi-7tb9kwMVoJNQBh3muSaSEAQYAyABEgItG_D_BwE

Can I come and visit?

Definitely!

I think it’s more to do with how creatively the wool is spun. I’m in Canada at the moment and just want to fill my suitcase with all the yarn. It seems like every town has the most amazing yarn shop. Back in the UK I have to mail order the yarn I want - which means I can’t squish before I buy.

"Squish before you buy" is a number one rule!

Do you sing silly made up songs to your dog? I do. My cats also.

Yes, but tbf I used to do the same with my DC when the Poor Fuckers were little.

They still sing some of them, so I wish I had put more effort into their composition.

That's ok. She can mix with my dad. He has collected 84 bottles of cheap cola (no one knows why) and he resists all attempts to whittle down his supply. Also, cantankerous old goat, but dearly loved. He's still.not coming though.