Dh woke me up to stop me snoring, he's got the whole day to himself

[Dragonhugs]

We're on holiday in the UK just now, our DC (young adults and a mid teen) and the young adults partners.
Dh and I are in a bedroom with two single beds. I must have been snoring and he couldn't reach over to shake me as he'd usually do. He loudly clapped, two different occasions and then shouted out my name. All three times woke me and I've given up now and gotten up.
I'm peri menopausal, I don't sleep well most of the time and when I'm properly awake that's it.
Today everyone (apart from him) is visiting an attraction that we've had booked for months. Everyone is looking forward to it. He's not coming and is staying at the holiday cottage on his own. He enjoys long lies and naps on most days he's not working. He'll certainly be going back to bed today once he's taken some of us to the train station (we brought two cars).
I'm so annoyed I'm up at this hour, facing a full day and he's having a day to himself on a full night's rest.

Also Team DH - sorry OP. My ex-husband snored and I am a very light sleeper and it was torture. We ended up sleeping in separate bedrooms, which probably hastened the end of our marriage. Definitely get the snoring looked into!

Yabu, for reasons already elucidated by other posters.

Since this is an ongoing and regular problem as you both snore, I think it would make sense to sleep separately at least some of the time, like if you have a big day ahead. You say the recliner is comfortable enough that he could reasonably be expected to use it, would your disability prevent you from using it too? Maybe take it in turns.

Edit- I see you're on holiday. Is there scope to sleep separately and comfortably at home?

Ear plugs and if that doesn’t work separate rooms. Someone on the sofa if necessary.

No one should put up with someone disturbing their sleep and the one who’s the problem moves.

Sorry - Team DH here. I cannot stand snoring, it makes me murderous. I have slept in baths, wardrobes and hotel lobbies rather than be in a room with someone who snores. I've been like that forever.

I hope you get a chance to nap later OP. Lack of sleeps is a killer.

Not dealing with her snoring and ignoring the impact on her DH is a character flaw. It’s fucking selfish. FWIW, no, I’m not a non-snorer. I snore badly. I have diagnosed severe sleep apnoea and use a CPAP machine every time I sleep. My DH also has sleep apnoea and uses a CPAP machine.

I could murder DH when he snores. The absolute rage I feel. I had months of being woken multiple times every night from his snoring. I was tired and upset. He didn’t do anything about his snoring until I recorded the horrendous noise of it, including pauses where he stopped breathing, and played it back to him. That finally got him to go to the doctor and get a sleep study done.

Fuck snorers. Sort your shit out and don’t be a selfish arse.

We both snore, I don't mind and can usually ignore it. He can't and wakes me up with his attempts to stop me.

so he should be more like you? And not be disturbed by you? That’s a ludicrous notion if that’s what’s being implied here…

Again, how is 'sorting your shit out' an immediate thing?

Is what you're saying that OP shouldn't sleep until she's 'sorted it'?

The solution here is silicone earplugs for your husband. Mine snores and does a job that involves calls during the night sometimes. As a king time bad sleeper and now peri menopause hitting me, these have been a game changer!!!

Your previous post saying people are being malicious and have a superiority complex about snoring. I really don’t think it is that deep. Anyway, this isn’t going anywhere. Have a good day.

She could sleep on the lounge once her DH wakes her the first time in the night. Not stay in the room repeatedly waking him. She could buy him some earplugs to use as a peace offering. She could buy him a sleep headphone band to use to block her snoring out. She could look up white noise sleep apps for him to use with the sleep headphones. She could ring her GP to book in for when she’s returned home to get her snoring checked out by a sleep study.

BTW, my DH didn’t really get woken up by my snoring. He found it cute and comforting bizarrely enough. Still, he knows that snoring is a health issue that impacts on the snorer’s health and life expectancy so told me about my snoring so I could get help.

Because you are. Are you a snorer who refuses to get medical help for it? Have you ever slept next to a snorer who makes the mattress shake from the snoring and the sound of the snoring travels through the mattress and up through your pillow straight into your downward ear, while the upward ear is getting the snoring at full volume?

Laying awake listening to your husband/wife/partner snoring loudly is annoying and frustrating. I shake the bed when my husband snores, often he just carries on and I have to really shake the bed or prod him.

I woke twice in the night to stop my husband, who was laying on his back, from snoring and then had to get up for a pee. I then struggled to get back to sleep.

Your husband might have woken you more gently, but I don't think he's wrong for doing so. I'm perimenopausal too.

Your repetitive unreasonable posts?

Yes, I’d agree!

Tell me you’re a snorer without telling me you’re a snorer.

Sorry OP, I agree with the majority. My DH’s snoring is the only issue in an otherwise very happy marriage and does my head in!

Agree with all of this.

Time for both of you to get your snoring sorted out.

Well no I don’t think he should have to get up because I don’t think he should be woken up in the first place. However, if you do need to wake someone up, I think doing it nicely is preferable to creating a loud sudden noise that will scare them. I think there are kinder ways than scaring someone awake

There are kinder things than continuing to disturb someone’s sleep, OP only moved out because she was then “awake”, not for the benefit of the DH.

Why doesn’t he just get ear plugs? Waking up someone because they’re snoring sounds bonkers to me

I'm with your DH on this one. I have barely slept this week because my DHs snoring has been horrendous. I don't like waking him up as he has work and I'm SAHM and the kids are off this week.
It doesn't stop me being pissed off though. Especially as yesterday I had to be up and dressed before 8am as we had a repairman coming and today I had to take my DD to the doctor's at 8:20 (and drag DS along).
I know you're annoyed because you're awake but presumably your DH was also annoyed and you woke him up 3 times. Why don't you stay at the holiday house a different day and get some extra sleep?

Urgh I’m on his side. DH used to snore and it drove me mad. He lost 10kg and it stopped.

Sleep next to my DH for one night without him using his CPAP. I promise that you’ll change your mind.

Why didn't you wake him up??

Sorry OP, 100% team DH here too - although also team you are within your rights to wake him when he's snoring as well.

My DH snores and I HATE it, it wakes me up and I cannot get back to sleep if he's snoring at all, it disrupts me so much and I spend the night elbowing him and nudging him and making him roll over. I even use white noise to try and drown him out but I can still hear it.

I am going on holiday in a couple of weeks where we will be in twin beds as you've described and I'm dreading it as it will be so much harder to stop him from snoring if I'm not right next to him.