Dh woke me up to stop me snoring, he's got the whole day to himself

[Dragonhugs]

We're on holiday in the UK just now, our DC (young adults and a mid teen) and the young adults partners.
Dh and I are in a bedroom with two single beds. I must have been snoring and he couldn't reach over to shake me as he'd usually do. He loudly clapped, two different occasions and then shouted out my name. All three times woke me and I've given up now and gotten up.
I'm peri menopausal, I don't sleep well most of the time and when I'm properly awake that's it.
Today everyone (apart from him) is visiting an attraction that we've had booked for months. Everyone is looking forward to it. He's not coming and is staying at the holiday cottage on his own. He enjoys long lies and naps on most days he's not working. He'll certainly be going back to bed today once he's taken some of us to the train station (we brought two cars).
I'm so annoyed I'm up at this hour, facing a full day and he's having a day to himself on a full night's rest.

Team DH here. Lying there awake listening to someone snoring is torture. My DH snores and sometimes the only way to stop him is to wake him up. Often he immediately goes back to sleep and starts snoring again 🤬

Also, the one snoring is the one who should be evicted to the spare room, not the person suffering.

You think it's reasonable for him to get out of bed multiple times a night?

She can change positions in the hope she stops snoring. Like I said, it isn’t a competition but I don’t think the husband has done anything wrong. The OP is turning herself into a bit of a martyr.

Sorry team DH here, there is nothing worse than lying awake listening to someone snoring!!

You need to sleep in separate rooms. It is absolute torture lying awake and listening to someone snore when you are shattered and trying to sleep yourself. It doesn't matter if you can rest the next day, or not. Our body clocks and energy levels are set to mean we need to sleep after a certain amount of time being awake. Expecting your husband to go 24 hours or whatever without sleep to avoid waking you when you are snoring is wildly unreasonable.

And just because you can sleep through his snoring, doesn't mean he can sleep through yours. My husband would sleep through an air raid siren. I wake at the drop of a feather. It's just how we are.

Maybe your husband wouldn't need as many naps if his sleep wasn't disturbed by your snoring. I'd sleep separately, if you're going to be this unreasonable about the poor dude just trying to get some sleep. Why is YOUR unbroken night's sleep more important that his? Why do you feel aggrieved that he woke you up, when you keep waking him up with your snoring?

Is this post a wind up?

Snoring should be a valid reason for getting off a murder charge.

No wonder the poor blokes is napping throughout the day.

you know its a problem, why did you not book separate bedrooms?

Firstly, push the beds together so he can just push you on your side instead of clapping or getting out of bed.

Sleeping with a snorer is awful, you say his snoring doesn't bother you but so what, your snoring disturbs him.

Get a mouth guard, a chin strap, decongestants. Whatever, there is a whole array of thing to improve the situation.

Obviously he needs a sleep app with earbuds to drown it out. What has he tried?

Seems an odd family hol when the Dad opts out of a day trip. Does he always stay home and leave you to it? You need to tell him to join you next time. For the kids sake, the miserable lazy arse!

Her subsequent attitude really has nothing to do with the snoring. She isn't doing it on purpose so why people feel she deserves to be treated like she has deliberately been malicious about it is ridiculous.

These threads always bring out a deeply hidden superiority in people who don't snore, as if they are better humans.

Yes, it's annoying for both parties. One is not more in the right however. If the snoring is bothering one person then come to an agreement about the couch - not the same as a punishment for the naughty person, I mean a real agreement that respects both people.

If she wasn’t snoring, she would be clapped!

She’s causing her own discomfort!

What a ridiculous analogy!

Team DH. You have to sort out your snoring somehow; it's awful being kept awake by snoring.

I'm sorry you've started the day off badly, OP; and I don't agree with the way your DH woke you (he should have just got up to shake you, the lazy sod), but I would have woken you too, or gone to sleep in the lounge. It's impossible to sleep with a loud snorer next to you. And once you've heard it, you can't ignore it. I think in future, you should book holidays where you have enough bedrooms to sleep separately. For now, I think I'd wake him in EXACTLY the same way he woke you, then go out and enjoy your day.

You’re as bad as him tbh get some help for your snoring

I think we are pretty much saying the same thing but you seem to be getting wound up about it. Neither of them have done anything wrong. They’re both sleep deprived and allowed to be irritated. I am sure they will come to some agreement as fully functioning adults.

She's not 'causing' her own discomfort - it is an entirely unconscious act.

Being woken up repeatedly is awful, whatever the reason

Yes her poor DH being woken up constantly, because she’s not dealing with her snoring issue.

Yeah lazy sod for not waking OP in the correct manner by getting out of bed repeatedly!

What on earth makes you think I'm 'wound up'?

Whether she's dealing with it or not there's nothing she can do about it in the moment. Snoring is not a character flaw

Team DH. I have 4 dc incl a baby and could have murdered DH when he spent 3 nights snoring and waking me up last week.

The OP could always have moved into another room. It doesn't stop the snoring, but it means others are able to get undisturbed sleep.

He needs to remove himself and his bedding to another room, any room that is away from the snorer. On some holidays in the past, where DH and I were sharing a hotel room, I've taken my pillows and duvet and slept on the bathroom floor on top of a couple of towels. Very uncomfortable, but absolute heaven to get away from the torture of being in the vicinity of a snorer.
Nowadays we always go self-catering and rent a place with 2 bedrooms.

I wake my husband up when he snores, it is so loud and I hate laying there awake listening to it. I’m not taking myself off somewhere less comfortable because he’s making a racket! Even though your DH was resting the next day, I can understand the frustration in the night!

Or her DH could have, he was already awake. I get that it's annoying but why wake 2 people if not to convey that one person has been doing something 'wrong'?

They should sort separate sleeping from the start

Snoring is awful, my husband recently lost weight which has really helped but I used to drive me mad. However, I can't help but feel sorry for you in the circumstances.