Dh woke me up to stop me snoring, he's got the whole day to himself

[Dragonhugs]

We're on holiday in the UK just now, our DC (young adults and a mid teen) and the young adults partners.
Dh and I are in a bedroom with two single beds. I must have been snoring and he couldn't reach over to shake me as he'd usually do. He loudly clapped, two different occasions and then shouted out my name. All three times woke me and I've given up now and gotten up.
I'm peri menopausal, I don't sleep well most of the time and when I'm properly awake that's it.
Today everyone (apart from him) is visiting an attraction that we've had booked for months. Everyone is looking forward to it. He's not coming and is staying at the holiday cottage on his own. He enjoys long lies and naps on most days he's not working. He'll certainly be going back to bed today once he's taken some of us to the train station (we brought two cars).
I'm so annoyed I'm up at this hour, facing a full day and he's having a day to himself on a full night's rest.

It's easy to say you would never wake someone, until you've shared with someone who snores.

People who compare it to water torture are pretty spot on. It makes you consider things you never thought you would be capable of doing.

I can see both sides here. He shouldn't have woken you in such a jarring way but being repeatedly woken by someone snoring is awful. What are you doing to address it?
Is there another room one of you can sleep in tonight so you both get a full night's sleep?

Team DH

it is not a competition.

Get your snoring sorted, and until then sleep separately. If one option is the sofa, you take it in turns.

Broken sleep is miserable, and if he's on holiday so what? He has to spend his holiday feeling groggy and catching up on sleep? That is bollocks.

FWIW, when my DH wakes me with his snoring, i pull his pillow until his head moves, and he stops without waking up. Apparently i snore, i have no idea if he does the same to me.

Also have you spoken to him about his behaviour, ie the way he woke you?

‘It makes you consider things you never thought you would be capable of doing’ 😂

Amen to that. My DH snores on occasion. I try gentle nudging etc, but if it continues, then hell yes, I am waking him up. If he knows he’s been doing it, he will take himself off to the spare room ( not possible in the holiday cottage - I get it)

The only one who gets to snore to their heart’s content is the dog. Her snores are sweet, and kind of comforting.

It's tricky but if he didn't wake you up, then he'd have been kept up all night by the constant nature of snoring. So he'd then need to sleep a day way when he was probably lookin forward to loafing about, awake but relaxing.

It is shit you didn't get enough sleep either, and his techniques were quite annoying to wake you, but if you weren't in touching distance and he tried to wake you by speaking your name and you didn't wake, then he didn't have much option but to make a loud noise.

My DH snores horrendously!!!! I was constantly jiggling him in his sleep as he was constantly waking me but also I did notice he had times where it felt like he snored loudly then just didn’t breathe at all - he mainly snores loudly if on his back and if he rolled to his side it was much better. We had however discussed this action prior so he was happy for me to do this.

He went to the GP about it though and was referred to a breathing/sleep clinic and discovered he has quite severe sleep apnea!! Life threateningly bad so in fact, me constantly making him roll onto his side has possibly saved his life

Now has to sleep with a breathing mask on which ironically has stopped the snoring - hopefully will be supplied eventually with a mouthpiece which he can wear whilst sleeping but he has to go through all the steps first

If I was you, have a look into pillows that can be used to position you better to help with snoring - can’t remember the exact name of them but DH was recommended a few by the clinic he attended

You are being a martyr to say once I'm awake that's it and then come on here to moan. You could have stayed in bed and still rested, and maybe falllen asleep for an hour or two, but getting up means that definitely won't happen.

It doesn’t really matter what his plans are during the day. Lying awake next to a snorer is a form of torture.

I think your DH handled this exceptionally poorly. Clapping like a seal? Selfish prick.

Anyway what’s done is done. Hope a nice breakfast and the fun of the day out sweep you along. Take rest if you need it - enjoy what you can and do not let today’s rude awakening spoil it.

Perimenopause is a bugger.
Someone keeping you awake snoring is torture.
My other half is a terrible snorer. Luckily we have a spare room at home. Sometimes even then, with my ear plugs in, I get up and physically move him. But what I don’t do
is shout and clap.
We even have to have separate rooms on holiday now which costs a bloody fortune.
He often says to me if I snored he’d sleep through it and it really annoys me.
Whatever happens today you need to do something about your snoring and as a couple work out a way forward.

Gently, I’m with your DH too. Having to lie there listening to someone else snore away is soul destroying.

Turning my DH usually helps but sometimes the only thing I can do to get some sleep myself, is actually wake him and hope I get back to sleep first.

My DH is also overweight and I’m sure that exacerbates it. It’s hard to have sympathy for the snorer in this situation.

My husband snores terribly and you can bet I will wake him to turn over. Every Single Time.

I'd start waking him up when he snores then

So is being clapped and shouted awake repeatedly. Why is one discomfort more important than another?

Nah as someone whose husband is a heavy snorer. It's hell on earth. Was there not a sofa that someone could have gone on slept on?

It’s abusive to not do anything about the snoring when you know you’re keeping someone awake. It’s inflammation, get it sorted. Eat less carbs

Because one discomfort actually stops the other. I will be damned if I am going to lie there listening to someone bellowing all night long and get no sleep and not wake the person up.

You can be as damned a you like and make the choices you make. But your getting a good night's sleep is not more important than anyone else.

He's still asleep!
I'm going to have to wake him soon, tempting as it is to wake him the same way he woke me up, I won't. (This time 😄)

If you're going out without him, why wake him?

We both snore. DH sleeps deeply and doesn’t wake. I sleep lightly and used to wake all night!

A game changer for us were these ear plugs. You can stream into them a podcast, audio book or music and it will automatically go off when you’re asleep. Or (what I do), once you’re asleep it shifts to a white noise of your creation. I’ve created a beautiful blend of crackling fire, rain and birds tweeting which is loud enough to not hear DH but not so loud to wake me up.

If I wake now, I pop these in and am back to sleep in 20 mins and usually don’t get woken again. They have different ear cushions to go around the bus for different shaped ears. I sleep on my side and don’t tend to notice them.

A worthwhile investment for us as saved me waking up completely exasperated with DHs snoring but not feeling I had a leg to stand on as I snore too!!

https://amzn.eu/d/0iZFoIgE

He's driving some of the DC to the station. I can't fit everyone that's going in one car

Said someone who never lay awake all, every night listening to someone bellow 😂