Why do men like this woman so much and women don't?

[Pjy]

I'm interested from a kind of study of the human condition pov, it's interesting to see the different ways people respond.

She's a woman I know through a sport. She's pretty good, but not outstanding. Works hard and deserves what she achieves. She's friendly and sociable, can perhaps be a bit opinionated, but nothing extreme, much less so than some men! She's "ordinary" to look at. Not unattractive, maybe a bit plain and doesn't seem particularly interested in her appearance (a good thing in my book). She's clean and presentable, but not glamorous or interested in clothes and makeup, not the obvious type to gain male attention iyswim.

She's very popular with men. I'm not saying the fancy her (maybe they do, I don't know), but they seem to enjoy being around her, respect her ability and training in a way they don't other, sometimes more successful, women.

Women, including me, just find something a bit off about her. I can't put my finger on it, I don't dislike her, but she's not someone I want to be friends with. Some of the other women really dislike her, but also can't really explain it.

Is it as straightforward as a bit of jealousy, or something else?

It’s funny, this thread kind of bears out exactly the point I was making (as do many threads on MN). If you dare disagree with the sisterhood, it generally moves from questioning to ridicule and usually ends in variations of “well you’re on your own with this”/anger

Actually it’s a nicer way of putting it

OP why are you and your friends so invested in this woman? It’s a little odd, tbh

Or they were bullied by mean girls?!

But who is the ‘sisterhood’ here? The OP created a thread about nothing, described a deeply weird situation where she was apparently (1) privy to all the men in her sports club opining that while they wouldn’t give this woman one behind the changing rooms, they respected or liked her, and (2) to all the women saying they disliked her.

Then she answered her own question about why all the men liked her and none of the women did by saying that this woman is disproportionately given to correcting women on minor matters, and not men. Mystery solved.

So she shouldn’t correct the women then? They don’t like her so there is no value in keeping her mouth shut just to keep them sweet.

Obviously, as I said I'm generalising, but I think generally it holds true, and not just when it comes to friendship and conversation either.

If you look at fiction, books, film and TV written by women tends to be more about the people involved rather than the action or cool spaceships, fast cars etc.

Journalism by women is often much more geared towards the human consequences of what's happening rather than the events themselves.

And take this site. Mumsnet is probably the biggest female dominated site on the internet and it's biggest boards are relationships and Aibu, both geared around interactions with others and analysing those interactions. Male dominated sites like Reddit on the other hand are much more built around events or stuff, and the parts centered around relationships (AITA, relationship advice) are much more female heavy than the rest of the site.

OP says the woman delivers snippy little comments about minor details, or will reply but you said, when something has changed ... things that most wouldn't even notice, let alone comment on.

People do that all the time in threads on Mumsnet, and are rightly pulled up for nitpicking or derailing.

It might point towards some type of ND if she was equal-opportunities about it. She isn't, so it seems reasonable to suppose it's a (possibly unconscious) choice to be hyper-critical of women. That wouldn't make me warm to her, either.

No, she should do whatever she likes! I have no problem with correcting people. I do think some women in particular aren’t used to other women telling them they’re wrong. You see it on here a lot. Someone says ‘You’re completely wrong about X because of Y’ and some OP is spluttering with disbelief and butthurtness because they appear to usually live in some kind of echo chamber of ‘Whatever you say, babe!’

Do they, I thought most men were quite basic - i.e. they are visual creatures.

Given how the OP and her friends talk about this woman, I don’t blame her for being snippy. I would be as well

You do know that for many men the Venn diagram of "someone who's a cool person to chat to" and "someone I'm sexually attracted to" isn't a circle?

Kind of disproven by the behaviours of these men?

I don't really know what men are like or not despite bwing married to one.

I don’t think any of that proves or disproves what men will discuss

I wpuld say all the women leaping to the OPs defence and not taking any criticism over how toxic the group of women are.

That is painfully obvious.

What's that got to do with it?

I was being sarcastic.

Where in the OP is my theory disproven, the OP has described the men as literally commenting on her looks?

You know sarcasm doesn’t translate without emojis or obvious indicators?

I actually reported this thread to Mumsnet after posting, and yet here it is still up. Odd.

I may have miscalculated though - is it 25 posts a page? So about 325 comments on the theme of dismantling a private individual based on the OP’s perceptions of how she is viewed. And perceptions may vary.

Yup - hardly disproves the stereotype of groups of bitchy women, does it?

To have a level of speculative interest in someone in your social circle that tips into posting about them on an anonymous public forum is plain weird.

But now I’m arguably beginning to display similar behaviour - though by posting in chat the OP has invited reaction - so I’ll stop now!

🤣🤣🤣 It’s a spiral

And you sound like you have a winning personality