Mine doesn't do a lot of the small stuff mentioned here and I wouldn't want him to TBH, in fact we spend a lot our spare time apart but that's one of things I love having had a possessive ex partner who didn't like me going anywhere without him, always clung to my side at parties etc.
So for me, allows me to be my own person, never resents me going out, will drop anything to pick up the DCs, or stay up till they are home (young adults) and doesn't expect me to just do it all, same when they were young, did more than his share of nursery and school runs, sick days etc. He doesn't mind me going out with male friends, gets on well with all my friends so if we go out in a group I'm free to sit at the other end of the table knowing he will be just fine whichever friends he is sitting with. Same with my family, he has just slotted in and me to his, often goes to see my Dad in his care home when I'm too tired or dealing with Mum. He'll drop everything if I need help with something too, I had a puncture just after he left for work the other week and he came back to help change the wheel, no complaint, I didn't ask him to, just called to say I had a puncture.
But we did have competitive tiredness issues when the DCs were young definitely. A lot of bickering. But ALWAYS respectful, when we argue it's about the actions not the people, never call names or use disrespectful language towards one another, so if we are going "PLEASE put the vacuum away when you have finished instead of leaving it out" we'd never call each other lazy or whatever.