Would paramedics refer me to social services if they didnt ask me anything

[Sophie2082]

Flat is very messy as husband is extremely poorly. Kitchen has dirty dishes. I am doing it on my own and baby is a velcro 9 month old and breastfeeds on demand. Typing this while he is suckling from me. Husband is so poorly he keeps vomitting into a baby potty (obviously never been used by baby, i just got it in advance)

He called the ambulance v early in the morning. He is sleeping in the spare room which has the baby changing table, baby wardrobe and a playmat with toys on the floor (noticed after paramedics left there was a cable on the floor). Honestly baby moves v slowly and i am usually with baby so will carry him off when he touches anything he shouldnt. He cosleeps with me in the master bedroom and the cot is full of clean clothes ( i put away some when i get a moment). Baby has never slept in it as he cosleeps (of course the ambulance staff dont know that but i think they saw it while standing in hallway).

They took husband away in ambulance, he honestly wasnt very lucid and kept saying he has a learning disability which means he cant reach his GP so no records of thr GP appointment. Truth is he has private health insurance so usually goes for private medical care do a & e staff can't see any records. He doesnt have a learning disability but has been diagnosed with adhd and he got a private antibiotics prescription yesterday.

They took my husband and left me with baby. No questions asked about baby but they did see baby as i was carrying him while talking to them.

What's your issue?
Why would they about about the baby?

Why is your husband lying to paramedics ? Lucid enough to lie ...hmm no idea what difference it makes with his provate care.

If your home is in such a state its seen as dangerous they could make a safegaurding report. It sounds messy and untidy it doesnt sound dangerous. Can you not sling baby and get on with stuff if not itll just have to wait as im sure youre already stressed.

I think they'd be more concerned about the state of your house if they were coming to attend the baby.

I think he was trying to explain why he couldnt get into contact with his GP and there are no records of his medical history as they were trying to read his medical history and there was nothing on nhs system as it was all private

He just feeds all the time. I was tidying and now he wants a feed..cant do that with a sling. He does play with toys for a bit then wants a feed..

I hope you explained your husband was not thinking straight and told them his actual health conditions and who to contact for his health records. If not ring up the hospital and explain, he is surely the priority at the minute, not whether the house was tidy and I'm sure the paramedics weren't interested in that.

Yes i did explain to them. It was me who provided his full name and date of birth.

If your house is just messy then I don’t see why they’d report you.
If it is messy and dirty to the point of it clearly being a hazard, they might report you. Are there dirty dishes, or is there literal filth, grime, mould all over your kitchen which can become a biohazard.
Did your baby look healthy in your arms? Even covered in food/milk, my baby looks like a clean and healthy baby.
Your husband should have just told them “I usually go private so you might have some information that is missing”.

I'd be more worried about your husband getting the right care if he isn't very lucid, they don't have access to his medical files & he's misleading them.

i doubt the paramedics will do anything about the condition of your place, or the baby cot/vo sleeping. But if anything, the most that will happen is a call from SS to ask if you're coping.

Do you have anyone (even a teen) who could come over & help you? Either help you get the place straight or play with the baby while you sort the place out

if not could you afford to ish someone?

or put the baby in a sling? Pram?

big hug, hope DH is better soon💕

Honestly OP, it sounds like you're living in chaos and there's little excuse for it with a baby that age. If your DH can afford private healthcare constantly, can't you afford some help like a weekly cleaner?

If your house is messy and cluttered they will be fine. If it’s neglected and really dirty there’s a chance they may feel differently, but they were there for your husband and will have been focused on him. In the middle of the night it would have been obvious that the cot wasn’t in use by the baby

No advice for your situation with your husband (although I hope he feels better) but when I was in this situation with baby I followed the organised mum method because if baby even sleeps for 25 minutes you can get a lot done following her plans. They are really really good and saved me in early motherhood (download the app)

It was more like early morning. Wouldnt they have asked questions if they had concerns

Social services won’t give a shit if your house is messy. The threshold for any involvement is so bloody high. I’m a Paeds nurse and have had genuine concerns about the environments we have to send kids home in and it’s way more than being messy. However if your baby was to have an accident that could have been prevented, for example they get burnt we would have to refer to the safeguarding team, as a minimum.

I don’t under why he lied to the paramedic or why you didn’t see that clearly he wasn’t lucid and provide the correct information on his behalf.

What you describe sounds like a regular family home when someone is ill. From your description I can’t see why the would refer to social services.

Health insurance is paid for by work (he had 30k in claims over the last year and it was 100% covered)..we had a cleaner but we were also decluttering and a lot of baby stuff we havent managed to sell so we wanted to get someone in after that.

Ss might be concerned for you as you apparently have a dh with learning disabilities so are you a carer for him?? And do you need support?? And / or you have a lying husband ?
Or he is very ill and they might check on you ?
Not state of dirty dishes
If any referral is made ask what support is available
But if dh has a job and private healthcare buy in some household help?

They took husband away in ambulance, he honestly wasnt very lucid and kept saying he has a learning disability which means he cant reach his GP so no records of thr GP appointment. Truth is he has private health insurance so usually goes for private medical care do a & e staff can't see any records. He doesnt have a learning disability but has been diagnosed with adhd and he got a private antibiotics prescription yesterday.

So you advocated for him and put them straight?

Is it likely a referral is made

Yes. I said its not just him who cant get through the GP. Neither can i either. Thats why he uses private healthcare

Husband is in the best place right now even if he is being weird, lying and not disclosing private medical care, surely your private GP can release notes now? It’s a working day?

Regardless you can’t worry about that

So you have a Velcro baby

shuffle along the floor with baby attached with a bin bag and laundry basket.

put a load of washing on

pick thing from the floor whilst shuffling

walk around kitchen baby in on arm feeding put things into bins

the jobs you absolutely need two hands for - washing up - do when baby naps

it will take a while but it’s not insurmountable

Does he have a chronic illness?
£30k worth of medical care in a year sounds excessive?

And you told them he doesn't have a learning disability?

I wouldn't worry about any of that part then.

I would however get your house cleaned up as it's clearly worrying you.

How much solid food is your child eating? At that age it’s very unusual for them to be milk fed so constantly you can’t clean and tidy.

What does this mean? You literally can’t access NHS medical care?
Why not?