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Original poster

WWYD persons comment about my child

226 replies

penguin816 · 07/04/2026 09:51

We were at a coastal area on bank holiday, in a long queue for ice cream. DS5 was getting pretty fidgety and decided to go over to some shingle adjacent to the queue and play with stacking the stones, all fine. After a while he started playing with some dry dirt and the wind was blowing it into the air. We thought it might blow into the queue so DH went over and told DS to stop playing with the dirt. DS stopped but then quickly started again, so DH said “I can’t let you play with the dirt because it could start blowing over people”, holding DS’s arm as he spoke to him.
At this moment the man in front of me who had been watching turned to his partner and said “just slap him”.

I felt absolutely seething and rage. I stood still and DS and DH went off to look at the sea but for the next 5 minutes I was silently raging. Would other parents have felt this way? I started making all sorts of judgements in my head about the couple who were there with their dog. They were 50’s, no wedding rings and I assumed child-free and therefore clueless! Obviously none of this might be true. But I was so furious with the man.

A few minutes later the couples dog started growling at another dog and pulling on its lead. I had to bite my tongue to not say “just slap him”.

When I told my DH afterwards he was furious - he is SUCH a peaceful calm person and never raises his voice but even he said “I want to knock the hat off his head”! (The man was wearing a baseball cap and this was the most violent thing I’ve ever heard DH say)!

Would you have commented, or kept quiet and would you have found it difficult to do so?

OP posts:
Twasasurprise · 07/04/2026 09:56

I'd have rolled my eyes and ignored it. He wasn't threatening or instructing you, just talking to his partner. I highly doubt he meant it, was just irritated by your child. Do you think they had already been hit by the dirt?

StormGazing · 07/04/2026 10:00

I’d have been gob-smacked into silence too! FWIW I’m 54 with teens and I’d never ever even consider smacking a child, animal etc

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · 07/04/2026 10:06

I'd have felt exactly as you did @penguin816 .
And I'd have had to absolutely zip my mouth together to stop myself from making a reciprocal comment in regard to their dog. Indeed the thing that would stop me would be the risk of provoking a row, not whether me saying 'just slap him' about the dog would be appropriate, because I think it'd be spot on. You did well to restrain yourself. As did your DH!

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Families
whitehawthornblossom · 07/04/2026 10:09

I’d have been furious but I think you did the best thing just keeping a dignified silence.

OttersOnAPlane · 07/04/2026 10:11

What a fuss over nothing. I've heard plenty of ignorant comments from older people about parenting over the years and I just roll my eyes and move on.

Just smack him
I'd give him something to cry about
Nothing a clip around the ear wouldn't fix
Etc

dizzydizzydizzy · 07/04/2026 10:14

it’s mind boggling that people still think hitting a child is a good idea even though doing that to adult could get you arrested.

Best to ignore these idiots. I had a (childless) friend who used to give me this advice. Every time, I firmly told her that I disagreed but she doggedly continued dishing out her pearls of wisdom.

frozendaisy · 07/04/2026 10:22

Oh just forget @penguin816
the day after the Brexit vote I had to pop to our local chemist with our then 7 year old who wasn’t doing anything wrong and this tiny wrinkled old woman looked at him almost gleefully and said
”we can start hitting them (nodding towards my 7 year old) again now”

I thought jeepers, although was assured that at that moment in time my 7 year old could totally have had her in a fist fight!

they walk among us

your son has a great dad role model, you sound like aware and proactive parents

just be pleased you don’t have that level of judgement and intolerance in you

I did come home and calmly say to H “ if anyone hits my babies I will claw their eyes out”

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 07/04/2026 10:26

Child free person here.

I’d never say this. Just to nip the ‘I assumed child free and therefore clueless’ comment in the bud.

They were in the wrong.

Blueberryme · 07/04/2026 10:30

Just ignore fools like them; I would have been seething if they had slapped or attempted to slap my child, but honestly the world is full of idiots and could have your blood boiling daily or you can just ignore and be thankful they are not your family or friends.

Also, one can certainly have children without a wedding ring - they may have never married or could be divorced etc and still have children.

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 07/04/2026 10:36

I couldn't muster up more than an eye-roll over a stupid throwaway comment like that.

Had to laugh at the 'wedding ring' thing though 😁

Honestly OP, the world is full of judgemental knobs making quiet comments like this, you just happened to hear this one.

Original poster
penguin816 · 07/04/2026 15:12

Thank you! Yes I know my unspoken judgements were silly! I was venting internally!

OP posts:
WorkCleanRepeat · 07/04/2026 15:22

I'd definitely have made a comment when the dog started growling. I wouldn't have been able to help myself.

stepmum86 · 07/04/2026 15:43

I don’t agree with hitting children but sometimes parents are In their own world and think the sun shines out their kids backsides and they can do no wrong. That’s what annoys child-free people

AutumnLover1990 · 07/04/2026 15:46

I probably would have told him that "I'd slap you in a minute if you don't stop making stupid comments" 🙄🤦‍♂️

ThisSunnyBee · 07/04/2026 15:50

It's a nonsense throwaway from a certain age group and demographic, along the lines of I'll give you something to cry about, clip round the ear sort of rubbish. Wouldn't give it a second thought.

Itsmetheflamingo · 07/04/2026 15:53

It did make me laugh the level to which you got her up yet didn’t say anything, and your H wishing to knock his hat off which is more comedy sketch than anger

it wouldn’t have been a big deal to ask him who the fuck he is talking about and get into a row but it also might’ve wound you up more.

Original poster
penguin816 · 07/04/2026 16:07

stepmum86 · 07/04/2026 15:43

I don’t agree with hitting children but sometimes parents are In their own world and think the sun shines out their kids backsides and they can do no wrong. That’s what annoys child-free people

Cant see how that applies to us as DH was clearly managing our child’s behaviour, and he was doing so pre-emptively anyway!

OP posts:
Callmeback · 07/04/2026 16:38

Oh f off with your assumptions that childless people can't see that this is a crappy comment to make. I'm childless and wouldn't dream of saying this about a child. I'm also sensible enough to know that kids can get bouncy when waiting or bored. I'm not clueless. I'm so sick of judgements like this. Your problem was with one individual idiot, not the whole childless population (of which there are many of us).

Original poster
penguin816 · 07/04/2026 19:49

Yup, I too was childless actually until I was 43 @Callmebackso I know ALL about the judgements. But I also do know (as a parent) that many people are clueless about parenting until happens to them. I was! I used to think my child would act like this, my child would behave like that etc.

I supposed I assumed they must be child free as no parent could possibly say “slap him” - but I clearly said in my OP I know that might well be inaccurate!

OP posts:
amargaritaplease · 07/04/2026 21:40

@penguin816well you sound insufferable about childless people

Esthai · 07/04/2026 22:07

Sometimes people just have a rather different sense of humour and values to you.

I was recently on a coach trip tour in a country where cacti are a big feature of tourist tat in the gift shops. After a stop, as we drove off, one of my fellow tourists remarks...

"Oh, did you hear that little kid screaming. He'd picked up a cactus and it was all stuck in in his fingers."

Me (currently parent of a toddler): "Oh poor mite, well, he won't do it again"

Coach stunned silence at my not very sympathetic tone

Tour guide: "That's some serious FAFO parenting there."

Me (brazening out the awkward): "I leant it from my mum!"

Clearly, I was supposed to have just made soothing noises about the darling that was daft enough to try to cuddle a cactus... and the parent that wasn't watching when it happened...

Callmeback · 07/04/2026 22:34

penguin816 · 07/04/2026 19:49

Yup, I too was childless actually until I was 43 @Callmebackso I know ALL about the judgements. But I also do know (as a parent) that many people are clueless about parenting until happens to them. I was! I used to think my child would act like this, my child would behave like that etc.

I supposed I assumed they must be child free as no parent could possibly say “slap him” - but I clearly said in my OP I know that might well be inaccurate!

Oh sod off with your 'I was childless until I wasn't crap'.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 07/04/2026 22:40

Sadly @penguin816 a lot of parents would slap them. But generally they are not the ones who would say it in public. Some people are just idiots and some say things they absolutely dont mean. I would always ignore and never confront, it achieves absolutely nothing and if you speak back to them and display anger they will just say they know where the child got their disrespectful attitude from. It's always a lose lose situation. Grit your teeth and move on.

Sometimeswinning · 07/04/2026 22:40

penguin816 · 07/04/2026 19:49

Yup, I too was childless actually until I was 43 @Callmebackso I know ALL about the judgements. But I also do know (as a parent) that many people are clueless about parenting until happens to them. I was! I used to think my child would act like this, my child would behave like that etc.

I supposed I assumed they must be child free as no parent could possibly say “slap him” - but I clearly said in my OP I know that might well be inaccurate!

You know some parents actually abuse and kill their children right?

Are you sure you and dh weren’t more performative gentle parenting and others in line were probably like “ffs!”?

Reading your comments it’s all I can picture if I’m honest!

JustGiveMeReason · 07/04/2026 23:28

I felt absolutely seething and rage.

Why ?
Someone you don't know, and have no connection with, says something stupid. Why on earth would it fill you with rage ?

I stood still and DS and DH went off to look at the sea but for the next 5 minutes I was silently raging.

Really ?
You should get your blood pressure checked if this is the response you have to a daft comment from someone you don't even know, that wasn't even directed at anyone other than their partner.
Getting this worked up at a situation that should have produced an eye roll at best, is not good for your health and wellbeing.

Would other parents have felt this way?

No

They were 50’s, no wedding rings and I assumed child-free and therefore clueless!

You CAN'T be serious ?? Hmm

When I told my DH afterwards he was furious - he is SUCH a peaceful calm person and never raises his voice but even he said “I want to knock the hat off his head”!
Grin Grin Grin
Although, to put on a par with your utter outrage at a throw away comment from a man you have no connection with, this seems somewhat aggressive from your dh.

Would you have commented, or kept quiet

No, I don't make a habit of commenting on what people I don't know say to their partners. I'd have just rolled my eyes and calmly carried on with my day out, forgetting about it instantly.

and would you have found it difficult to do so?
No