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WWYD persons comment about my child

226 replies

penguin816 · 07/04/2026 09:51

We were at a coastal area on bank holiday, in a long queue for ice cream. DS5 was getting pretty fidgety and decided to go over to some shingle adjacent to the queue and play with stacking the stones, all fine. After a while he started playing with some dry dirt and the wind was blowing it into the air. We thought it might blow into the queue so DH went over and told DS to stop playing with the dirt. DS stopped but then quickly started again, so DH said “I can’t let you play with the dirt because it could start blowing over people”, holding DS’s arm as he spoke to him.
At this moment the man in front of me who had been watching turned to his partner and said “just slap him”.

I felt absolutely seething and rage. I stood still and DS and DH went off to look at the sea but for the next 5 minutes I was silently raging. Would other parents have felt this way? I started making all sorts of judgements in my head about the couple who were there with their dog. They were 50’s, no wedding rings and I assumed child-free and therefore clueless! Obviously none of this might be true. But I was so furious with the man.

A few minutes later the couples dog started growling at another dog and pulling on its lead. I had to bite my tongue to not say “just slap him”.

When I told my DH afterwards he was furious - he is SUCH a peaceful calm person and never raises his voice but even he said “I want to knock the hat off his head”! (The man was wearing a baseball cap and this was the most violent thing I’ve ever heard DH say)!

Would you have commented, or kept quiet and would you have found it difficult to do so?

OP posts:
Eatally · 07/04/2026 23:45

The man said it to his companion. Not to the OP, and not to the OP’s DC.

It could have been an “in joke” because that’s what their parents did. Or perhaps the man was genuinely annoyed at being covered in dust by a small DC who was misbehaving and not listening to its DP.
Either way, the OP’s furry seems very extreme for an overheard throwaway comment.

patooties · 08/04/2026 00:28

Sometimes I will say ‘what do you mean? I just overheard you’ not because I’m an aggressive arsehole but I think it’s ok to say that - it’s nice to watch them pretend they didn’t say it or to double down - whe they know they are wrong. With no further comment from me. You make your point nicely and leave them pondering

BeanQuisine · 08/04/2026 02:11

Be thankful you didn't lose it and scream: "Why am I not surprised you're wearing a cheesy ballcap, you clueless old ringless shit! Sod off back to America and take your kid-slapping gun culture with you!"

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MsAmerica · 08/04/2026 02:41

I'm constantly surprised at the combination of melodrama and inhibitions here. I would have been irritated, not "furious," and might have said something like: If we should need your valuable advice, we'll ask.
And, yes, too bad you didn't parrot back his advice apropos of the dog.

CurlewKate · 08/04/2026 04:12

50s, no wedding rings so no children? What a bizarre assumption to make!!

CurlewKate · 08/04/2026 04:13

50s, no wedding rings so no children? What a bizarre assumption to make!!

CurlewKate · 08/04/2026 04:13

50s, no wedding rings so no children? What a bizarre assumption to make!!

CurlewKate · 08/04/2026 04:14

50s, no wedding rings so no children? What a bizarre assumption to make!!

BewareoftheLambs · 08/04/2026 04:21

Mildly annoying, I really can't imagine getting so bothered by it.

Ohmygeorgey · 08/04/2026 04:22

You really missed your opportunity by not saying “just slap him” when the dog was being a dick.

CurlewKate · 08/04/2026 04:53

I am so hoping the OP is suggesting that 50s is “elderly”! That would truly be peak Mumsnet….

CurlewKate · 08/04/2026 04:53

I am so hoping the OP is suggesting that 50s is “elderly”! That would truly be peak Mumsnet….

CurlewKate · 08/04/2026 04:53

I am so hoping the OP is suggesting that 50s is “elderly”! That would truly be peak Mumsnet….

CurlewKate · 08/04/2026 04:54

Sorry-I am hoping-but not THAT much!

ByMintWriter · 08/04/2026 08:41

Child free and therefore clueless.... have you any idea how offensive YOU sound?

Julimia · 08/04/2026 08:43

You need to get a much thicker skin for survival.. What the guy said says nothing about you or your child but everything about him. Take NO notice

Dogmum74 · 08/04/2026 08:44

TemporarilyCantDoMyself · 07/04/2026 10:06

I'd have felt exactly as you did @penguin816 .
And I'd have had to absolutely zip my mouth together to stop myself from making a reciprocal comment in regard to their dog. Indeed the thing that would stop me would be the risk of provoking a row, not whether me saying 'just slap him' about the dog would be appropriate, because I think it'd be spot on. You did well to restrain yourself. As did your DH!

You think telling them to slap their dog would be appropriate? When the dog had been behaving and not getting dirt all over a line of people?

Sparkles1212 · 08/04/2026 08:45

penguin816 · 07/04/2026 19:49

Yup, I too was childless actually until I was 43 @Callmebackso I know ALL about the judgements. But I also do know (as a parent) that many people are clueless about parenting until happens to them. I was! I used to think my child would act like this, my child would behave like that etc.

I supposed I assumed they must be child free as no parent could possibly say “slap him” - but I clearly said in my OP I know that might well be inaccurate!

People with children can be very judgemental and rude.....ah yes, that's you @penguin816

Dublassie · 08/04/2026 08:46

What a ridiculous thing to get so worked up about ? I’d have given him a ‘look’ and then forgotten him . It’s not like he actually slapped your child !!!

Frugalgal · 08/04/2026 08:48

Dogmum74 · 08/04/2026 08:44

You think telling them to slap their dog would be appropriate? When the dog had been behaving and not getting dirt all over a line of people?

Did you not read the whole post? Their dog was growling and pulling the lead..so 'misbehaving'. Just like a bored child playing while waiting for an ice cream..

You've missed the point, it wasn't so much about the dog as the opportunity to give them a reciprocal taste of their own snarky medicine.

CurlewKate · 08/04/2026 08:50

ByMintWriter · 08/04/2026 08:41

Child free and therefore clueless.... have you any idea how offensive YOU sound?

Don’t forget in their 50s and unmarried. Almost the full set…

Cantfindafreeusername · 08/04/2026 08:52

‘gentle parenting’ is irritating to watch so perhaps he maybe heard a different convo and just commented to his partner! Says a lot about you if you are seething with rage overhearing someone else's conversation rather than, you know, maybe entertain your child??

Roundofapause · 08/04/2026 08:53

amargaritaplease · 07/04/2026 21:40

@penguin816well you sound insufferable about childless people

Why are people taking a comment of 'perhaps they are clueless because they are childless' to mean 'no childless people know anything about children'. Some clearly are clueless, OP said nothing about all childless people being clueless. As usual you get the sensitive ones on these threads who twist what was being said.

Dollymylove · 08/04/2026 08:54

This happened to me once at an airport. My 3 year old tired out, screaming. Some woman standing right next to me loudly declared that if it was her kid she would "give it a slap"
I told her to move away as it was her face that was making him scream 🤣🤣

Hopinghopeless · 08/04/2026 08:54

@penguin816 my sympathy for you started low and has completely vanished with every update. The pious portrayal of your perfect parenting was one thing, the melodramatic 'seething' was ridiculous and the general sneering at people 'in their 50s' really pushed you into unbearable territory.

Also no rings = not married = no kids thing is weirdly puritan. Maybe they were just out for the day without their kids?

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