I don't understand how people can give up their career and be a stay at home parent ?

[lolstevelol]

You risk losing career progression, especially as jobs change so rapidly due to technology. The role you were doing a few years ago might look completely different today. Securing a stable office job is much harder now than it used to be.

You also miss out on pension contributions, which is a significant factor. Losing 5–10 years of contributions and compounding can be the difference between retiring at 58 and having to work until or beyond the state pension age.

Generally speaking, supporting a family on a single income while working can be more stressful than being a stay-at-home parent. Even when the job itself is manageable, workplace environments can be toxic, which can create tension and resentment between the working parent and the stay-at-home parent.

You do you (I work full time BTW so have no skin in the game).

Because money and work aren't the be all and end all.

You dont understand?

That people have different drivers, personalities abilities and lives?

Honestly?

If everyone thought like you OP, I'm not sure many would bother having kids at all.

You don’t have to understand it, what other people choose do to is none of your business, there are many reasons a person would make the decision to be a stay at home parent.

Because some people don’t have careers to progress! Or in my case I was a trailing spouse overseas

The abject failure of people to understand this will always baffle me. I stayed home for a while. I completely understand why others make different choices.

Maybe they're rich or want different things in life than you?

I don't have a kid or work full time. 😱

You don’t need to understand other people’s decisions, priorities and motivations.

You haven't heard of single parent families then? Or marriage breakdowns? Or bereavement? Or children with complex requirements?

Because not everyone wants ‘a career’?

I had a job. The only reason I had a job was because I worked purely to be able to afford to live.

Do you think people who work as (random choices) a barista, chambermaid, low level admin, cleaner etc see them as ‘a career’?

Because structural inequality and patriarchal constructs means its so so so hard to work FT and raise 2 small children.

I say this as a women who works full time in a demanding job with a 2 and 4 yo.

If i wasnt making well over 100k i wouldnt bother my arse. And even with the money I feel very 50/50 about it.

Also angry that our government and society dont make a frame work that mean women and menhave the option to go part time for a few years.

I spent five years at home between the two dc and I don't regret a minute. Id go back in the mornig if I could. Such precious times that we'll never get back. Yes I'll have to buy back years for my pension but I enjoy my job, have great hours and holidays (teacher) so have no big desire to retire early. I feel I've had a very balanced working life so I'm no where near done or exhausted. My DC are thriving and I think those gears gave them a wonderful start. We also had no one nearby to give us a dig out if needed plus childcare costs were more than half my wage at the time. Definitely the best decision.

SAHP threads are almost never in good faith.

And are just an excuse for women to judge other women’s perfectly boring and normal choices. Don’t bite.

Well. Some of us don’t have careers or don’t have careers that would fit in with raising a family. Some of us have children with health issues that require so many appointments that holding down a job is unfeasible. Some of us value spending time with our children more than career progression, a few years of pension and any perceived imbalance between parents. Some of us don’t want (or can’t afford) to spend a few years working for nothing to pay for childcare. Some of us don’t think that leaving our nonverbal kids all day with a bunch of underpaid and overworked strangers is the best thing. Some of us enjoy that time and home and use the space to build businesses or alternative income streams.

For someone with a doubtless high flying career, you really lack imagination.

Years ago when I had my children, no one really went back to the job they did before they had their children, it wasn’t a done thing

When I was a young working mum it was my dream to be a SAHM! at that age I couldn’t have given a shit about future pension, it was so far off. To be able to raise your child yourself I’d say is the best ambition to have at that age but sadly not many people can afford this. I had to work evenings and nights as childcare was not funded in those days.it was a real tired struggle. I feel sad that mums nowadays can’t have the precious early years with their babies but I know not everyone will agree with me.

Because some people are able and willing to make the sacrifices necessary.
Because it’s probably the most important thing you can do - the early years are crucial.
Not everyone works in an office.
Not everyone has a career.
For some people they literally cannot afford to work and pay childcare.

Yes but I never had to worry that someone I paid to look after them would strap them to a beanbag and kill them. Seemed worth it to me.

Exactly

Maybe they like spending time with their children.

Some people have enough money that they dont have to worry about pension contributions or getting back to a job…

… I’m not one of them 😆

I didn’t have a career. I was working in a MW job, so it was a no brainer to become a SAHM.

I have no intention of ever being a SAHM but I think it’s very odd that you don’t understand why anyone else would want to. Many of us myself included aren’t driven by money and career progression. I work bloody hard, but I’m not on any career ladder. I could have a much higher paid role than I’m currently but I’ve no interest in it. We’re all different, we all prioritise different things

I just lived in the present moment and I wanted to stay at home. I did it for my kids AND I did it for me. Respectfully, working and mothering simultaneously isn’t for everyone. It most certainly wasn’t for me. I couldn’t do both effectively, fair play to those who can but that wasn’t me.

I had 10 years out. I re-trained now I’m back working full time. The world didn’t end and I kept my sanity and marriage intact. My 3 teenagers are all doing very well.

Life is ticking on just nicely.