I don't understand how people can give up their career and be a stay at home parent ?

[lolstevelol]

You risk losing career progression, especially as jobs change so rapidly due to technology. The role you were doing a few years ago might look completely different today. Securing a stable office job is much harder now than it used to be.

You also miss out on pension contributions, which is a significant factor. Losing 5–10 years of contributions and compounding can be the difference between retiring at 58 and having to work until or beyond the state pension age.

Generally speaking, supporting a family on a single income while working can be more stressful than being a stay-at-home parent. Even when the job itself is manageable, workplace environments can be toxic, which can create tension and resentment between the working parent and the stay-at-home parent.

I had to for MH. Working in corporate with laughable glass ceiling wages was wrecking my marriage because I could not move forward or up and was giving every single thing I had to souless companies so I could feel independent. Wish I'd done it sooner. I grew up poor and was much happier than chasing the lie of success in my sector for women and then double whammy for age. I'm scared of the future, in some ways, but I was terrified of a nervous breakdown and losing my DH through stress. Wish I'd been braver when my kids were younger.

I like it when an OP engages with their thread - seems to be an ever increasing case when they don’t.

They never do 🙄

I wanted to have children, but no I was never dreaming about baby and toddler stage specifically. Those times have their moments, but I found them also hard work. Having bigger children is great though!

I was genuinely miserable and lonely during maternity leave. I found the baby stage relentless and exhausting.

Once he started to sleep and we could have conversations it became far more enjoyable. He’s 11 now and the best company which I’m making the most of before the teenage years kick in!

Very much this. The toddler stage was fine once my kids started to talk, but the baby stage was just pure tedium. I loved the teenage years best - I learned so much about the world from my kids, and they from me.

Exactly.

Being a parent is more than just the baby and toddler stage. As you said, those stages have their moments but it's absolutely fine to overall, not be a fan of those stages.

I have enjoyed each stage more than the last so far. Newborn stage was definitely the least enjoyable.

Baby stage was a shocker but I love my 2 dcs more and more at each stage. Both are now young adults and they are wonderful at this age.

I am glad I never gave up my career. Apart from 5 years where I worked pt (dd had a congenital heart condition, now resolved) I have worked ft and now as far advanced in my career as I want to go, just waiting for retirement once ds graduates from uni.

Never taking my foot off the pedal has meant that my retirement is set, dcs' university fees and expenses paid for (no student debt) with a deposit for a first home growing in their ISAs. I did not splash in as many muddy puddles with them when they were toddlers (though splash we did on weekends) but they are in a financially advantageous position compared to their peers. They don't have pressure to find a job immediately on graduation nor worry about when they can afford their first home.

I worked during their childhood to leverage my career advantages as a Gen X-er in order to reverse the generational disadvantage of my Gen Z dcs. As a parent, I chose not to put all my efforts in the baby/toddler/pre-school years but instead play the long game for when my dcs are adults. It is what I prioritised for my dcs as a parent.

I don't feel that parents (mainly mothers) who give up a career to SAHM during the early years are morally superior. We chose to prioritise different aspects of our dcs' upbringing. Both are still "parenting".

It was £720 per month nursery fees 15 years ago. I imagine that thet the cost has escalated in those years.
People do what they think is right for their family. I worked full time because my DH said that he could not manage to be a stay at home Dad. I only had one child. I couldnt not afford a second child.