How to limit my daughter's food without giving her issues?

[Notmycircusnotmyotter]

Cards on the table - I have controlled anorexia. I'm a size 4-6 and I cannot help but see fat as bad and lazy: I know this is awful but it's what gymnastics and Royal ballet school and boarding school instilled in me. I never talk about my weight or body around my children.

At home everything is cooked from scratch and there's always chopped fruit available. And yet my daughter (3) is more than a little chubby - she weighs 4kg more than her 5 year old brother. I don't know how to tackle this without giving her my issues. She's too young to understand health and I don't want to mess up her body image. She's a big girl, she really is, and I'm aware that big kids become big adults and I don't want that for her.

is there a healthy way of fixing this?

It's cruel.

You said you don't eat, you need professional medical help, and you are projecting into your daughter

You're projecting your ED onto your daughter.

Re the son: I add extra butter and cheese to his food. I make him cheesy mashed potato as a side to his meals just to ramp up the calories.

Re the daughter: I just want my perfect clever, kind, funny girl to be healthy

Why is she not healthy? If you insist she only eats homemade healthy food and is active then she will be healthy.

What you mean is you want her to be skinny. Sorry if that's harsh but it's true.

A brioche isn’t going to fill her up so she will be hungrier an attempt to raid the fridge

porridge and fruit
scrambled egg or boiled etc
Sausages

mini blondes often has 2 sausages for breakie. Less then 200c but fills her up till break /kunch

if she has a brioche / croissant which are around 180c she hungry

what height and weight is she @Notmycircusnotmyotter

i get many toddlers grow out of it - equally I’ve said before on another post the 3yr at pre school was chubby /overweight - and has been larger than all her class each year and now yr 4 and def larger - well fat.

an I don’t like calling kids fat. But she is

so I get why @Notmycircusnotmyotter is wary of 3yr not losing and gaining each year too much

but equally your views may be swayed by your own ED and having a slim older brother who can eat anything and not gain

Noone in your circles engages with health visitors - that's very telling

This is exactly it.

If you don't engage with the HV, do you engage with Dr's/Nurses ie have your children had their vaccinations or do you fully avoid any medical professionals who are likely to clock your weight OP....

@Notmycircusnotmyotter If your 3 year old is always hungry, overweight and drinking a lot, you should consider having her tested for diabetes.
It's not impossible.

If she is genuinely overweight (you can find out her percentile by height/ weight online) maybe see your GP - take her along- and also consider a medical condition.

I don't agree with most posters here who are saying you're making this about your ED and wanting a skinny child.

That's so banal it's frankly ridiculous.

She's either overweight or not regardless of your own eating history.

No judgement OP I'm just curious, has seeing the difference in your two children on the same diet changed your perception of fat being lazy and bad?

at her age it would be type 1 diabetes and whilst drinking lots can be a symptom, being overweight isn’t. One of the symptoms is weight loss,
the four T’s: Thinner, Thirst, Toilet, Tired.

There are lots of misconceptions about the condition, which is an autoimmune condition and not affected by diet and not preventable either.

I didn't say check for Type 2. I said said for diabetes.
I know the difference. There is an overlap in some symptoms.

@LieLowLulua three year old wouldn’t have type 2, and type 1 symptoms is weight loss not gain

it didn’t sound like you knew the difference because at the child’s age, it’s extremely rare, almost never happens,
to the point that doctors would always look for other explanations.
Its type 1 that’s seen in children, not type2.

This is a chat forum. My post said check with your GP (for all kinds of reasons including diabetes.)

If the child has been accurately measured and weighed then she is overweight. But she sounds to be eating a lot of carbs and fat if she's getting meaty sticks and cheese from the fridge. If I was eating fruit (what type of fruit?) and brioche for breakfast I'd be looking for some protein before lunch. Mum could make buckwheat pancake or stick to porridge with low gi fruit for breakfast or toast and a boiled egg.

A 3 year old child who is constantly hungry is being fed the wrong sort of food, however healthy mum thinks it is, or she has prader-willi syndrome but mum has not described anything to suggest that.

Are you a traveller/ circus person?

• I had a feeling I had seen OP say this on another thread but I can't find it now.

If she were, it might explain the avoidance of HCPs, but there could of course be other reasons for that.