Reasonable consequences for teen losing expensive door key twice?

[Zoo2tropolis]

This may be a mix of AIBU and WWYD

My DC is early teens. Usually very responsible, well behaved, very few problems at any age. At the start of the school year they were given a door key. In a pouch, to go inside their school bag and stay there. Told to keep it safe, we have a special door and lock so it's really expensive. It would only be needed every now and then when noone gets home in time to let them in.

Around Xmas time, they lost the key. Then eventually found it, but we were mad they hadn't looked after it. They had taken it out of the pouch, left it loose. The responsibility and importance of keeping it safe, and consequences of not doing that were impressed on them. We helped them devise a means to keep it safe - put it in a zipped pouch, again within school bag and it should stay there.

Today they said it's lost again, this time the zip on the pouch apparently broke, they put the key tucked just inside their phone case and it's gone. The phone has been taken multiple places and they have no idea when it went or whether in or outside the house.

I'm saying the consequences for this should be:

1. Grounded for 1 month, due to seriousness of the issue and it being lost despite previous conversations (but they can still go to clubs)
2. Loss of phone except for travel to and from school for communicating
3. They should use their laptop to come up with a way to earn money to cover cost of a new key, as this is about taking responsibility

So AIBU, or what would you do in the same position?

I'd put the key on a lanyard attached to inside of school bag.
And/Or give them a cheaper back door key.

I think your consequences are too great.

I dont agree with any of your ideas like grounded for a month ,about I do think you should make them pay for the cost of the key. Either by earning the money the self or by doing extra chores at home for a set period until it's paid' off

That seems quite harsh for losing a key. How much is a replacement?

Pay for cost of replacement key and until then they don’t have access to the house. Natural consequence; loose the key you have around for someone with a key to get home

It's not your children's fault you got a posh door and that you're not home to let them in.

Of course you can’t use any of these punishments. If you had a ‘normal’ door and they lost the key would you impose the same consequences? It’s not their fault you chose to have an expensive door

They can't get in at the back, not an option.

About £50

Grounded for accidentally losing a key. How are you to esculate punishments in the future if this is your starting point?

Get a retractable key ring to attatch to his school bag and a key safe for when he isn’t taking his bag out with him.

Are you serious! Consequences for me would b3 you don't ge5 another, tough if you have to wait out in the rain

I think you’re being harsh. I would be cross and would make it clear I expected them to do extra chores as a result but I wouldn’t punish them.

Your consequences are massively OTT. Especially grounding for a month. 😳

extra chores or no replacement key for a while

I'd not do any of that, it would be a related consequence. They would have to pay to replace it, either with savings or pocket money docked. They also would not be given the new key. If they can't get in, they'd have to sit on the doorstep until someone gets home.

Way too punitive for even an expensive mistake. Not easy for a young teen to earn money outside the home either.

Maybe dock pocket money or pay for chores. Then get a key box instead of all this stress.

We didn't choose the door and lock, it was on the house when we bought it and only found out when went to get new keys cut

You’re completely over-reacting. Would you punish your OH for a month if he lost his key? It happens! Stick it on a lanyard, attach it to the school bag, as another poster mentioned, and have a spare hidden outside.

Massive over-reaction from you.

Teen to pay for replacement. Suffer inconvenience in meantime as a consequence of being key-less.

It's still not their fault though is it

Put an apple tracker on it, put a large keyring on in, get a keypad lock, get a key hotel, lots of options for all the normal people who sometimes lose things.

Also they've only lost it once - they misplaced and found it the first time - like many humans do.

I thought it would be well into three figures with how angry you seem.

Then get the lock core changed to something with a more standard key

Do you mean two children then as you refer to them as 'they'?

Natural consequence rather than punishment - they pay for the replacement and you install a key safe instead.

Punishments like you're suggesting for something accidental seems a bit harsh to say the least.

NRTFT but Im glad you aren't my parent. They mislaid it once and lost it once at a very young age. Get a key-safe.

My sons key used to be tied to a long cord attached to tge inside of his bag - never lost his key at school.
Consequence.... wait for you to get home the rest of this term as he probably only has a week before breaking up and the weather is fine.

Why are you pretending not to understand?