Reasonable consequences for teen losing expensive door key twice?

[Zoo2tropolis]

This may be a mix of AIBU and WWYD

My DC is early teens. Usually very responsible, well behaved, very few problems at any age. At the start of the school year they were given a door key. In a pouch, to go inside their school bag and stay there. Told to keep it safe, we have a special door and lock so it's really expensive. It would only be needed every now and then when noone gets home in time to let them in.

Around Xmas time, they lost the key. Then eventually found it, but we were mad they hadn't looked after it. They had taken it out of the pouch, left it loose. The responsibility and importance of keeping it safe, and consequences of not doing that were impressed on them. We helped them devise a means to keep it safe - put it in a zipped pouch, again within school bag and it should stay there.

Today they said it's lost again, this time the zip on the pouch apparently broke, they put the key tucked just inside their phone case and it's gone. The phone has been taken multiple places and they have no idea when it went or whether in or outside the house.

I'm saying the consequences for this should be:

1. Grounded for 1 month, due to seriousness of the issue and it being lost despite previous conversations (but they can still go to clubs)
2. Loss of phone except for travel to and from school for communicating
3. They should use their laptop to come up with a way to earn money to cover cost of a new key, as this is about taking responsibility

So AIBU, or what would you do in the same position?

I was this child, at the time spent most of my babysitting money on replacing things that I had lost. As an adult I don’t punish myself, I work out ways that are more foolproof to make sure that I don’t loose things.

Just my opinion but what does ‘look after it’ really mean?

How about getting a key safe. Heavy duty police approved kind, somewhere unobtrusive and keep the key there, don’t won’t just ‘get lost’.

For a well behaved, generally responsible teen? I'd tell them it was annoying they had lost the key, get another cut and think about getting a key safe.

I don't think a punishment is appropriate. They aren't responsible enough to be trusted with the key but you're trusting them with the key. They've shown you twice in a few months that they can't be trusted. I wouldn't punish them. Attach a mobile phone number to the key perhaps. Ask them every morning to check or show you that they have the key. Ask a neighbour to look after it.

I wouldn’t punish at all. Things get lost . Life is too short

That's really harsh. Get a key safe.

Just get a key safe then nobody has to take spare keys anywhere. They’re human, just like everyone else.

They pay for the replacement key and a key code box to be put by the back door. The key then doesn’t leave the premises an it will not happen again

Ok so you have a teenager who is learning about life. They need a parent who very rightly teaches them consequences etc. but punishing them is lot going to get them to not lose their keys a second time.

Either they don’t have a key or they pay for a tracker, key lanyard or the installation of a safe key box or something.
and they pay for the barrel change, and the new keys cut.

And that’s it. You forgive them, chalk it up to experience and they shouldn’t lose their keys again.

All 3 consequences? That feels very harsh.

Are they generally forgetful? If it's a trait in other areas then it doesn't seem fair to punish something they can't help. DS is clumsy. Unless I can see that something really silly has been done out of thoughtlessness, I don't punish for things dropped because I know he can't help it.

The natural consequence is they don't have a key. If you're out they'll have to sit on the drive.

Anything else is a bit excessive imo you just take away the possibility of it happening again.

Your consequences are far too high.

Charge them half the cost of replacement, and set up a system where they hang it on a hook each night they get in so they get used to remembering to check for it.

Have you never made a mistake yourself? And what will you do if they do some genuinely out of line??

Pardon?

It's clear OP meant one child as they wrote "My DC is early teens." right at the start. They didn't use son/daughter etc because the child's sex isn't relevant to the post. Using correct grammar isn't "stupid". Get the bee out of your bonnet.

Can't not give another key. I'm being a bit vague on why they definitely need the key, and using they rather than he/she as prefer anonymity on here.

The consequences are not for losing the key, but for not taking taking responsibility for keeping it safe, as it should have stayed in one simple place inside the school bag not been taken round the neighborhood tucked inside the phone. We had made clear how important it was to keep it safe where it was. Actually thought those quite reasonable consequences, surprised at the reaction on here.

The value of the key to them is measured in inconvenience. If they had to wait on the doorstep for half an hour for you to get home they'd learn to keep the key safe.

Yeah, this seems fair. No key whilst they save up to replace it. £50 isn't that much, I thought you'd be taking a few hundred somehow.

Key safe.

put apple tracker on the key if you really care although they’re not foolproof.

mine lost a few keys before we put the key safe in.

as others have said if you ground for a month for a lost key what will you do for something really serious?

Could he get an AirTag or Android equivalent so it doesn't happen again, maybe? I reckon a physical clip to clip it to the bag, preferably extendable so it doesn't need to be undone is usually the best solution for something where they're not using it constantly.

I made mine pay for the key he lost. He only did it once. I like natural consequences.

Have them take money from their piggy bank/savings to pay for a new key. They’ll soon be thinking more about looking after it if they know they’re paying for another new one.

Sorry but saying he or she doesn’t reveal their identity! That’s a bit silly . But not the point of the thread.

"The consequences are not for losing the key, but for not taking taking responsibility for keeping it safe"

I think that's a distinction without a difference. Adults lose (or break) things despite them being important. Accidents happen.

Apparently there are 8 million teens in the UK, do you seriously think if you say your DC is a girl or a boy that everyone will know who they are ?

I'd buy a new key and get a key safe. We all lose stuff from time to time.

No other punishments.

Pay for a replacement, and install a key locker so they can access the key in future