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Original poster

Baby’s dad denying paternity then unblocking me, invite him to birth?

109 replies

Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 22:36

Hi everyone..

i am currently 26 weeks pregnant with a little girl who i am SO excited for. I have everything bought, all clothes ready and washed and her rooms all decorated waiting.

Her dad has not been involved at all in this pregnancy, he’s even denied to people that she’s his baby. Due to this I’ve actually offered to pay for a pregnancy DNA and he has denied. He has no reason not to believe she’s not his baby, I’ve offered countless DNA tests & haven’t been with anyone else so not sure what else I can do?

I Am not worried about doing it alone I know im already a great mother and feel so blessed to have another child. I live on my own have a job a 5 year old.

I genuinely do just leave him to it as he’s always made it clear how he feels. I am not one to say either “he’s not seeing the baby”. I just focus on my own life and children so it’s not like I’m contacting him etc.

im not going to put him on child maintenance as i can do it alone and feel like he’s made it clear how he wants his role to be in our daughters life. At first I was like CMS will do. DNA and prove she’s you’re baby as I was so angry that he was telling people she wasn’t and making out I’d slept around.

The past few weeks he’s been unblocking me on social media and very clearly must be looking at things I post (a lot of it is around baby). Why would he be doing this?

I wanted to text him sooner to the time and let him know he’s welcome to be at the birth but if he didn’t want to be that would also be okay. I just don’t want it to feel like I’m withholding information or preventing anything now that he’s unblocked me.

I just don’t understand the constant blocking & unblocking lately & looking at my stuff when he’s had me blocked completely from the start.

His family also message one minute all in to be involved then ignore me for weeks/months at a time. Anytime I try contact them regarding scan invites etc I get a thumbs up or a yes and then they never come. I’ve decided I’m going to stop trying for my own sanity with his family as I know I’ve given every opportunity for them to be involved (as they’ve asked) it’s their first grandchild/child and I just don’t know what’s going on I feel confused at the minute and need advice would you have him in the labour room?

Do dads ever change their mind as pregnancy progresses or baby’s here? I feel like it hasn’t bothered me up until now I notice I’m being unblocked and we’ve exchanged a few texts but whenever I mention baby it’s like he doesn’t have much to say. Do I block him and protect my peace I have no one to talk to this about? Thankyou in advance x

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/03/2026 23:40

Absolutely don’t have him at the birth it’s a major medical event for you. You need your safe calm kind people that love you around you.

NormasArse · 12/03/2026 23:43

Your daughter’s birth is your moment to see her for the first time. Please don’t share it with someone who has denied his role in her life. He’s a tool- both you, and she, deserve better. I guarantee you’d regret it later.

Danikm151 · 12/03/2026 23:43

don block him bit also don’t initiate contact either.
that way there’s no ammunition to hold against you for “withholding contact”

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Original poster
Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 23:45

In no way is this about rekindling anything. I’m asking on here as I don’t have parents or anyone to talk too. I am hormonal and obviously confused and unsure what to do. I am very mature and prepared not once did I mention anything about mine and his relationship. This is what these forums are for advice

OP posts:
99bottlesofkombucha · 12/03/2026 23:45

CMS and he doesn’t get allowed anywhere near you giving birth

Original poster
Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 23:47

I meant I’ve booked special gender, 4D scans where you go private and can have friends and family involved so I’d invited them to come along.

OP posts:
CruCru · 12/03/2026 23:47

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/03/2026 22:52

And don’t put him on the birth certificate. Make him work for that.

I think that if you aren’t married, he has to attend the registration of the birth to go on the birth certificate. Of course, this may have changed, it’s been years since I had babies.

HippityHoppityHay · 12/03/2026 23:50

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/03/2026 22:52

And don’t put him on the birth certificate. Make him work for that.

The birth certificate is for the baby.
It's not a pawn in game of chess.

HippityHoppityHay · 12/03/2026 23:58

Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 22:36

Hi everyone..

i am currently 26 weeks pregnant with a little girl who i am SO excited for. I have everything bought, all clothes ready and washed and her rooms all decorated waiting.

Her dad has not been involved at all in this pregnancy, he’s even denied to people that she’s his baby. Due to this I’ve actually offered to pay for a pregnancy DNA and he has denied. He has no reason not to believe she’s not his baby, I’ve offered countless DNA tests & haven’t been with anyone else so not sure what else I can do?

I Am not worried about doing it alone I know im already a great mother and feel so blessed to have another child. I live on my own have a job a 5 year old.

I genuinely do just leave him to it as he’s always made it clear how he feels. I am not one to say either “he’s not seeing the baby”. I just focus on my own life and children so it’s not like I’m contacting him etc.

im not going to put him on child maintenance as i can do it alone and feel like he’s made it clear how he wants his role to be in our daughters life. At first I was like CMS will do. DNA and prove she’s you’re baby as I was so angry that he was telling people she wasn’t and making out I’d slept around.

The past few weeks he’s been unblocking me on social media and very clearly must be looking at things I post (a lot of it is around baby). Why would he be doing this?

I wanted to text him sooner to the time and let him know he’s welcome to be at the birth but if he didn’t want to be that would also be okay. I just don’t want it to feel like I’m withholding information or preventing anything now that he’s unblocked me.

I just don’t understand the constant blocking & unblocking lately & looking at my stuff when he’s had me blocked completely from the start.

His family also message one minute all in to be involved then ignore me for weeks/months at a time. Anytime I try contact them regarding scan invites etc I get a thumbs up or a yes and then they never come. I’ve decided I’m going to stop trying for my own sanity with his family as I know I’ve given every opportunity for them to be involved (as they’ve asked) it’s their first grandchild/child and I just don’t know what’s going on I feel confused at the minute and need advice would you have him in the labour room?

Do dads ever change their mind as pregnancy progresses or baby’s here? I feel like it hasn’t bothered me up until now I notice I’m being unblocked and we’ve exchanged a few texts but whenever I mention baby it’s like he doesn’t have much to say. Do I block him and protect my peace I have no one to talk to this about? Thankyou in advance x

How long were you in a relationship with this man?
That will be a factor in his reaction.
The shorter the relationship the less supportive he is likely to be, especially if the pregnancy was not something you both agreed on / planned in advance.
Is he also the father of your first child?

begonefoulclutter · 13/03/2026 00:00

Why on earth would you want to have anything to do with someone who has denied the baby is his? In other words, he has told everyone that he's accusing you of shagging someone else.

He is absolutely vile. Why, oh why would you want him anywhere near you ever again?

NaiceBalonz · 13/03/2026 00:03

HippityHoppityHay · 12/03/2026 23:50

The birth certificate is for the baby.
It's not a pawn in game of chess.

Show quote history

Quite.

A lot of these responses are appalling.

LeftBoobGoneRogue · 13/03/2026 00:12

@Userunknownx
Don't give the baby his surname.

Meteorite87 · 13/03/2026 00:43

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/03/2026 22:52

And don’t put him on the birth certificate. Make him work for that.

Absolutely. He was quick to deny being the baby's father.

Witchlite · 13/03/2026 00:51

I would be careful in involving a father like him in your life. Children need to be able to trust their parents, not have them acting like a parent one moment and then ignoring at others. They find it confusing and hurtful.

it is most likely he will play the role of a sperm doner rather than a father. Adults should earn the right to the title of mother and father.

BauhausOfEliott · 13/03/2026 00:53

Userunknownx · 12/03/2026 22:42

Thankyou so much would you say to block his family also?

If I was in your position, I would block him and his family and I would not want him anywhere near the birth or the baby.

GoldDuster · 13/03/2026 01:07

Children need consistency. Consistently absent will lead to a better outcome for your daughter than a father who can't make up his mind and clearly doesn't have the emotional maturity to be a half way decent parent.

Regarding should he be at the birth, I wouldn't even want him in the same county ideally, let alone the same room. It's a privilege, not a right. You need to be with someone who makes you feel calm,safe and supported, he's the opposite of that.

MmeWorthington · 13/03/2026 01:17

Birth is such an intense personal intimate experience, you don’t want anyone present who is not 100% on your side, or you do not trust 100%. Birth isn’t a spectator sport.

Frumpitydoo · 13/03/2026 05:40

Block the fuck out of him and DO NOT put him on the birth certificate. What a disrespectful, pathetic prick he is. And his family can fuck right off too.

OtterlyAstounding · 13/03/2026 05:42

Frumpitydoo · 13/03/2026 05:40

Block the fuck out of him and DO NOT put him on the birth certificate. What a disrespectful, pathetic prick he is. And his family can fuck right off too.

I second this!

xOlive · 13/03/2026 05:47

He won’t be allowed on the birth certificate without him being present at the registration as you’re not married to him (I had a baby last year and this is still the case).

Claim CMS and put it in an ISA for your child if you don’t want it, it’s for your child and they deserve it.

Block him.
You’ve got enough to be thinking about without the ridiculous mind games of a man-child who is refusing to do the right thing.
You’re not his mother, stop trying to get him to act right.

Mere1 · 13/03/2026 05:51

2chocolateoranges · 12/03/2026 22:39

Why would you want him at the birth when he’s acting like a total prick.

during labour you will need someone with you who is supportive and can help you, not someone who denies they are the father and also blocks you.

This.

2UNDR2 · 13/03/2026 05:56

I'd 100% be getting him to pay maintenance - Great that you don't need the money so let it build up in a savings account for her, it's for your daughter after all.

Tonissister · 13/03/2026 06:00

Don't let him anywhere near the birth.
He will make it all about him and mess you around.
I'd be tempted to send a message to him, cc'd to his family saying:
I want to clear things up and avoid unnecessary drama. I don't want you at the birth as I need a birth partner i can rely on 100%, so have chosen my mum/ best friend.

My baby is your child. She can't be anyone else's. You've denied this, rejected DNA tests. I have prepared for her arrival alone.
If you want to be in her life, I expect you to behave like a responsible and loving adult about her existence, as I do. Contribute your time, money, love, as I have and will do, voluntarily and reliably to ensure she is provided for. Don't make it conditional.

If you can do this, you'll be a great dad and we'd both love you to be involved in her life. If not, admit to yourself that you can't handle this responsibility and don't try to yoyo in and out of our lives. I will have enough on my plate looking after her 24/7 and earning a living as a single mother and don't need the drama.

Bananarice · 13/03/2026 06:14

  1. Congratulations on your pregnancy

  2. I wouldn't block anyone, but I would not try to reach out either. If they (his family or him), want contact they know how.

  3. Even when I was married, my children's father was only present in 1 birth out 4. It was during first lockdown so he couldn't leave and switch with my mother. I would advice you to pick the most calming and useful person you know.

  4. If you pay for dna, make sure it is with those places that would need to verify it is him doing it. I read few horror stories online about some men getting someone else dna to protect themselves from child maintenance claims.

SardinesOnButteredToast · 13/03/2026 06:17

It sounds like you have the skill, ability, and downright bad-assery to do this alone. Based on what you've told us about this waste of skin, what on earth do you think he can bring to your children's table even if he DID want to be there?

I have nothing but contempt for this kind of man child. Get that bar raised and chin high. Good luck!