Husband just walked in after stag weekend

[oxfordpower]

He left Friday lunchtime for a weekend around 3 hrs away. Young DC whom I’ve looked after all weekend doing swimming, play dates, party, nature walk, baking etc. We agreed husband would get up on Sunday and come straight back, and we realised he’d need to book a minicab to the train station as the stag do was in the middle of the countryside. I kept asking if he had booked the mini cab and he hadn’t but said he was aware.

Then this morning at 9 he texts he’s going for a shower and that he’s going for brunch at 11. I was like WTAF?! To brunch!

He said he couldn’t find any local cab companies able to come out earlier. I sent him some links and eventually he found one , so got picked up at 11 (skipped the brunch I presume) and finally arrived back home just now.

He asked how I was and I said cross. He is now refusing to speak as he said I’ve misunderstood his text messages but when I ask for clarity he says I’m not speaking now as I’m too cross to explain.

He’s now playing Xbox with DC who are allowed 2hrs on a Sunday afternoon. So I’ve done all the ferrying and hands on activities with them he gets to come home and chill out on the sofa playing Xbox and DC think fun Dad is back.

This is exactly how I read it!

Okay……🙄

Unless he’s out every weekend tbh I think you are being unreasonable.

Not just in complaining about him returning early afternoon but expecting him to leave the event early in general.

How would you like telling your friends/being expected leave a weekend away early because your DH was being pissy with you?

DH and I used to go away with friends when the children were small a few times a year each. No big deal - actually pleased each other was getting some time in to socialise and have fun.

Did he actually agree to this or was he bullied into it?

As per my pp it’s a different situation if he’s away very regularly, but as a one off being expected to return early from a weekend with friends is unreasonable.

Nah sorry op yabu, its a stag do, assuming its not every week its fine!
Just make sure for the hen do/your next weekend away you don't rush back

Is it really so hard to manage your own children for one weekend, how do you think single parents manage.
I think you’re looking for an argument, you’ve probably already managed to destroy any enjoyment he’s had out of the weekend already OP, are you feeling better now. he’s hardly out on had town every night.
If you want some time on your own then arrange something, it’s not rocket science.

Tbh I couldn’t get excited about this. I used to regularly have to go this for weeks at a time with DH away. I was working FT. Now DC older but DH and I regularly have separate time away to do hobbies.

Sorry but I don’t see the big deal. We had zero help but sure a stag do is not every weekend.

I honestly thought you were going to say he's just walked in from a stag do massively hungover and gone straight to bed! Even then it's not massively unreasonable to have 48hrs away from the family for personal time.
He's now playing with the children, what do you want him to do?
Book something yourself or take yourself out all day shopping next Saturday.
So what if the house is a little untidy? No one on their death bed wishes they'd spent more time cleaning/tidying.
Don't be a martyr.

Feel a bit sorry for him tbh. #fishwife

This.

YABVU

Absolutely this.
i don’t understand if ALOT of people on this thread are just nasty or ignorant.
OP is not complaining about having to spend time with “children that she wanted”, or the effort of weekend activities or even her partner attending a stag do in the first place.
It is about PARTNERSHIP, RECIPROCITY and RESPECT!
The advice from this poster is solid OP and I hope you enjoy your well earned break when you get it!

I see exactly what you are saying OP and think he let you down, whilst taking you for granted 💐💐💐

Where did the OP say he was womanising?

She is peeved he was back late, her post didn't suggest he was womanising.

what you need to do now is organise a break for yourself . A good long weekend of a break with friends and free of DC.

Careful now….

Sounds to me that you've managed to ruin his weekend.

I think you are being quite harsh. Undoubtedly, it is not easy being the sole parent but if your kids are old enough for xbox then I presume they are not babies being breastfed etc so can help you do things too. I don't think your DH should have cut his weekend short for this unless he suits himself every weekend. But as a one off then I would have just sucked it up.

I would make sure (and keep reminding him) that next weekend, you get one day entirely to yourself so he'd better be prepared.

She doesn't say he was a womanising.

Isn't that the point of these stag dos? The women at home have absolutely no idea what these men get up to. And they don't generally find out.

OP , like all women who are happy for their partners to go off on stag dos with their pals, generally are totally naive as to what goes on when a bunch of guys intent on behaving like single men go off together to enjoy themselves.

😂😂😂

OP's husband went to what sounds like a fancy place, or maybe camping, in the countryside. Then was going to go for brunch but wasn't allowed.

It's hardly 48 hours in Berlin watching sex shows and ending up off your tits in Berghain at 10am is it

Gosh that’s a sad way to view half the population

He was supposed to leave the hotel at 9am.

He left at 11am. He was two hours later than planned.

Honestly, I'm not seeing the problem here.

Honestly, in his shoes, I’d have been sorely tempted to make a “Sunday Club” out of it just to make the point! Neither me or my DH go out that regularly anyway and weekend breaks away with friends are rare (once every 3-4 years for big birthdays, hen dos etc), so such occasions come with a fair amount of latitude when they happen.

Whilst me and my DH don’t have kids to look after (just 3 big and needy dogs), if I’m going away for a long weekend for a hen do (and vice versa), I’d reasonably expect carte blanche and flexibility for the entire 3/4 days. My DH is more than able to look after himself and our dogs for a few days alone and I’d expect you, as a competent adult, to be equally as capable of solo parenting your children for a short period.

If you really feel like the balance is off in terms of equal adult leisure time, then you should address it with your husband to make sure changes are made. But don’t give him a hard time for making the most of enjoying a good weekend with his friends.

Why the drip feed though . If OP was unhappy about DH's times away then it should've been mentioned in the first post , not later because posts weren't going her way .