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Original poster

When children leave home - what is it like?

113 replies

Toosoonforahotcrossbun · 25/02/2026 19:23

You are going to think I am crazy.

It has literally just popped in to my head that my children will leave home one day.

I know I sound mad. Of course I knew that but it’s just occurred to me they will leave home and it will just be DH and I. It won’t be the 4 of us anymore. I want to pause time and stay like this for longer.

It’s devastating!!

Does it feel natural when the time comes?

Please tell me it does!!

OP posts:
Lighterandbrighter · 25/02/2026 19:26

Might not happen. Noone can afford to rent or buy!

Revoltingpheasants · 25/02/2026 19:26

I’m going to sleep for days, I think. Seriously … it’s a good thing, a positive step.

EleanorReally · 25/02/2026 19:27

you will have to get a dog
me and dh were like a couple of mother hens!

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Families
WellHardly · 25/02/2026 19:28

Mine has a few years here yet, but friends have found it very liberating.

Octavia64 · 25/02/2026 19:28

Honestly the teen years can be very very wearing and many people are quite happy to get some space from their late teens.

hard to imagine when they are small.

EleanorReally · 25/02/2026 19:28

i do think its natural, their behaviour is often particularly bad ime before they leave.
they need the independence

Gingerwarthog · 25/02/2026 19:28

You get a dog. That’s what we did!

Bigearringsbigsmile · 25/02/2026 19:29

I found it really hard tbh.
Everyone says you get your life back butvthe life I had before children was completely different and I was much younger so it's actually a case of having to start building a new life.
It helped thst we had friends in a similar situation and we all started seeing each other more.
If I allow myself, I can still feel really really sad and I am not going to lie, I miss them a lot but they are living their lives which is as ut should be.
But if I was offered a time machine and the chance to do it all again, I'd jump at the chance.

HelloAchilles · 25/02/2026 19:29

It’s very hard at first - eg when they go to uni. But you get used to it, you adjust. And they keep turning up in the holidays anyway, you can’t get rid of them 😊

By the time your DC get to that age you’ve had a lot more time to get used to the idea.

Corinthiana · 25/02/2026 19:30

The day they went off to university, I cried.
However, it was the next stage of life, and I was just happy for them.
I couldn't look in their bedrooms at first, but I got used to it, and looked forward to visits.
They're in their 30s now, and we all get on really well.

Seeline · 25/02/2026 19:30

Mine are 21 and 24 - still waiting!
Both been to uni, one graduated 18 months ago, but got a job near to us and moved back. The second graduates in the summer, and with the current job market, I think it's likely that they will be back for the foreseeable.
DH is about to retire - some time to ourselves would be great!

Corinthiana · 25/02/2026 19:32

When we dropped our eldest off it was like he was 8 again, I felt so worried for him! He was fine though.
That first weekend felt very long.

Dutchhouse14 · 25/02/2026 19:33

I have 4 DC one has left home for good. 1 is still atv6th firm . Another returned home after uni.
Her boyfriend graduates this year so i guess they will move in together then.
I think im going to really miss them when they all go but this is like a gentle reduction so i can acclimatise!
Its basically quieter, tidier and theres more food still in fridge and cupboards.
I was really proud when DS got his own place. They are looking to buy this year. So im basking in that achievement lol.
But i do love them being home!

IamMummyhearmeROAR · 25/02/2026 19:34

My second child left for university in September. She needed to go and we needed her to go. Was like a pressure cooker. Now when she comes back she’s delightful so in that respect life is more stable and calm when she’s gone and more enjoyable and fun when she’s back. I was emotional when her older sister left but I guess the second time around I was more experienced in the field!

DuracellbunnyAPlus · 25/02/2026 19:35

Well, firstly they seem to keep coming back. My house is like a B&B, with a revolving door, and they always seem to be hungry and bring washing.

Otherwise, I'm guessing yours are like cute little tiger cubs right now. When they're fully grown, pacing around the house, sleeping for hours, bringing girlfriends back, creating culinary marvels in your clean kitchen, you'll be delighted when they leave!

Itstimeforachangeagain · 25/02/2026 19:37

I thought I'd never cope with my son leaving home, especially being a widow and having to adjust to living alone when he went.

But knowing he was going off to start the next phase of his life with a good job and a lovely rented flat in a beautiful city meant I was just so pleased for him that it made it a positive experience. Plus we have a close relationship so kept in touch and visited each other.

So I found i adjusted to my new solitary life a lot better than I ever expected.

When it comes to the time for your children to leave you will be fine OP.

WomanintheAttic · 25/02/2026 19:37

It’s also a test of how your relationship with your partner is. Some of my friends have divorced now the children have left home, they were just riding it out. No abuse just that was the only thing they had in common.

Be glad you have created functioning adults.

estrogone · 25/02/2026 19:37

They tend to bounce in and out for a good few years. My eldest is 24 and lives overseas. They left home age 17 to study overseas - that was very hard. My younger 2 are at uni so live in halls during the year. My middle is going to stay home this year and continue uni from home.

Because it doesn't happen big bang style it's a transition that you get used to slowly.

BeeCucumber · 25/02/2026 19:39

Quiet, peaceful and the fridge door stays closed for most of the day.

herbalteabag · 25/02/2026 19:40

If they go to uni it's a bit more of a gradual thing because they come back about 10 weeks later at least in the first year.
For me it seemed kind of natural, because my son was being really irritating when he came home, wanting everything his way because he'd got used to it, so we'd argue a bit for the first few days! He didn't come back after uni but by then I'd got used to him never being here.

Motherhubbardscupboard · 25/02/2026 19:40

It's lovely seeing them launch into their new lives. That's what you raised them for after all. And you do get to the stage where your own interests can become important again, or like a PP said, you can indulge new interests.

Budsonthetrees · 25/02/2026 19:41

Quiet, too quiet. I cried a lot the first couple of days then it sort of becomes normal. Still miss them but we talk lots

Livelovebehappy · 25/02/2026 19:48

It’s healthy though to wave them off as they fly the nest. Your job is done, and it should be a proud moment that you’ve raised children now capable of being independent adults. And it is quite liberating too. Obviously there’s still a bit of parenting- that never goes away.

Hedgesgalore · 25/02/2026 19:48

Recent empty nesters here. When our last one left I found it weird. Driving him and his stuff to his new place then leaving him there, just felt weird to me.

It took us quite a while to get used to having the house to ourselves. I'm still getting used to cooking for two.

Ours come home often, ds calls in for a coffee (he likes my machine) a couple of times a week he has food with us, watches 6N rugby on the weekends, showers here after tennis (don't get me started) apparently his shower room here is better than at his place 🙄 anyway some weeks I swear he hasn't left only his stuff has 😂

Dd comes home every few weeks, she lives over 3 hours away. She tells me this house is her holiday home 😊

BunnyLake · 25/02/2026 19:56

It’s a mixed bag. On the one hand I love that I only have me to think about food and grocery shopping but on the downside I just can’t be bothered to cook properly and my diet has worsened since being an empty nester.

I have a lot of peace and quiet but also have a dog so still feel like I am parenting a toddler. Which is a good and bad thing (wakes me up at 5.30am).

I’ve not been very well this last week and being on my own really sucks when you just want someone to put the kettle on. The week before one of my ds dropped by for a few days and it was lovely.

I talk out loud a lot, but apparently that is healthy and good for your brain so I’ll carry on.

I would love it if they moved back home, but only if they financed themselves as I can no longer afford it. I’m always saying to my ds they can move back any time, even my eldest’s gf.

But I also like making plans for my own future as a single person. When my beloved dog is no longer here I am tempted to take some trips (probably guided tours if alone) to Japan, South Korea, and such like.