DD is in year 2 of 5 at uni. It’s so hard. She’s ND so she was horrific before she left. Then the first few weeks were intense - wanting me to make every decision for her, millions of questions, upset in her halls. I couldn’t sleep, I was so anxious about her, checking her location every five minutes, crying if I didn’t hear from her.
She came back for Christmas and it was lovely, then she went again and suddenly it just clicked. She seemed suddenly independent and capable. And happy - which was all I’d worried about for years.
So I was able to start meeting friends, eating out, creating new hobbies and enjoying being alone (still have a 17yo but he’s very independent). By the time she came back for summer she was a little 😏 that I was so busy without her 🤣 Summer was long and had ups and downs so I was almost glad when it went back to normal - it’s so hard to get the balance right.
Then she was back this Christmas and she feels a lot more grown up, in a relationship, calmer and settled. So this January return was actually the worst. I still cry whenever I read anything about empty nests.
It’s an indescribable feeling of pride seeing them build their own life’s alone, but it’s so so hard. I’m full of what if she doesn’t come back in the summer, what if she marries and moves far away, when will I see her again, will she still call.
I think uni is different than just moving out though. There’s more a sense of them wanting a new life. I’m hoping the balance improves when she’s properly moved out and we get a more balanced relationship.