I will never set foot at my hairdresser’s again

[FlakyWasp]

NC for this. In my defense, I have two young children and sleep deprived!

I haven’t been to the hairdresser in a while, so I thought I’d treat myself this week and freshen up a little.

I went in and asked for a “cut and blowjob”.

I can never go back, can I?

Ok another one.
Was in the loo in work. Walked into the first cubical to an enormous, unflushed poo. I balked. Tried to flush without success. Turned around and went into the next one to pee.
I was washing my hands when a lady came in behind me, walked into the first cubical, balks, tried to flush and also fails.
As she clocked eyes with me in the mirror, I said ‘I’ve just done that’ clearly meaning, tried to get rid and failed 😂
She just looked at me in disgust and closed the second cubical door. I slunk out the toilet door, wanting to die. Still do to this day 😂

The times I have had to stop myself from saying that! Now I just say cut and colour and thankfully they just seem to assume I want it dried as well. I doubt you are the first 😂

I did exactly the same to the supermarket cashier. A few odd looks from the queue. I just decided to style it out badly! 😂

I couldn’t decide between cod and chips or rock and chips. So asked for cock instead 😀
Never lived it down either every time I went in afterwards the man said ‘hello love, your usual is it?’

Oh hunny... im hiding in a cupboard on your behalf as we speak! Sending hugs and love , please look for new hairdressers immediately 🤣

This thread has reminded me of another where a woman was in a quiet doctor's waiting room with her whiny toddler and said, 'You're being a whiny tinker.' Except it came out 'You're being a tiny wanker.'

😂

Hahaha! I asked a really good looking man that I was serving (retail) if he wanted a drink rather than a bag recently.

I assume that as you didn’t get a slap then you’re a woman?

I would have feigned complete ignorance and said I said no such thing (with a look of horror on my face) and accuse her of having a mind in the gutter 😂

So tell us what you actually got !😀

My grandson referred to popcorn in exactly the same terms until he was about 4, we also call it that now.

My grandad called Chiquitta, “take your teeth out”

Sadly, it may be true that you can never go back ...

... unless the salon is called Curl Up and Dye, in which case it might be just the right place for you.

Ha ha! Every woman’s dream!

That just made me cry laughing

This is epic 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Luckily I work in a massive office and never saw her again 😂

Years ago,I was training to be a hairdresser

I needed models for blow dries

So I put a status on FB 'pretty please,could I borrow people to practice my blow jobs on'

Put my phone down,got distracted with the kids and didnt recheck my phone until the next morning

You can imagine the comments...

You won’t have been the first, and you won’t be the last

My husband used to sing a song to the kids called skinnamarink.
Skinnamarink a dinky dink
My son would sing along skinnamarink a dinky dick.

That's hilarious op 🤣.
Sorry for laughing! I'm always terrified of doing the same so I've trained myself to say cut and dry. So far so good!

I was leaving work before my afternoon off and bumped into the head of dept. as I was heading to the cloakroom/toilets. He asked if I was going anywhere nice and I meant to say I'm going plant shopping, but it came out as I'm going plopping.
I inwardly died every time I saw him after that.

Your hairdresser will be dining out on this story for years to come, so she’ll hopefully be especially attentive whenever you come in for a cut and blow-thingy…

Hairdressers never listen anyway. You're safe to go back.

@OP I'm sure you're not the first!

I used to be a secondary school teacher in Scotland. I once meant to inform my register/form class that the day's main course was quiche.

I told the bairns that they were gettng 'keech' for their lunch. For those of you not in Scotland, it's a Scots word for 'shit'. (Related to 'khaki'.)

Oops.