I will never set foot at my hairdresser’s again

[FlakyWasp]

NC for this. In my defense, I have two young children and sleep deprived!

I haven’t been to the hairdresser in a while, so I thought I’d treat myself this week and freshen up a little.

I went in and asked for a “cut and blowjob”.

I can never go back, can I?

Haha I am sure they have heard it all before or assumed they misheard you! I wouldn't worry about it I am sure they are told a lot worse.

Yes, I'm afraid you're going to have to emigrate now.

😂😂 Hopefully the hairdryer was going at the same time you said that so they didn’t hear you properly!

Well you made me laugh.

hahahaha.

I've heard people make this mistake at least two or three times in my life, and I'm not even a hairdresser, so my guess is that your hairdresser has heard it before too and isn't in the slightest bit bothered. Don't worry about it.

What did they say? I agree, they'll have heard it before.

I'd still have to fake my own death if it happened to me, though, so I get it.

🤣 thank you for the laugh, I BADLY needed that today!

Did they direct you to the shady place down the street 😆

😆 nuke it from space. 😆

It's not made easier with so many references online to the US phrase of 'blowout' rather than blow dry

Life used to be so much simpler!

Ha, don’t worry, I work in a hairdressers and we say it all the time to ourselves.

I asked for cock and chips once in a chip shop.

when I was a teenager I was shopping with mum for some paint and she asked for a Durex colour chart and kept repeating it to multiple members of staff. she also thought herpes was a furry animal and told multiple friends we werent having one in our house. she was dreadful for malapropisms.

My DN misread "circumstantial evidence" as "circumcision evidence"

And a local girl, in a TV quiz, gave the answer "orgasm" instead of "organism"

I don't think you need to worry . . . .

When she was at primary school, my daughter had a rabbit that loved rolling in shit 🤮 This particular day he absolutely stank, so I decided to bathe him before collecting her from school. He didn't usually mind the hairdryer, but I must have been a bit close with it (in a hurry!) and the bloody rabbit turned around and took a chunk out of my forearm; it poured with blood! Stuck an Elastoplast on, and went to school. Waiting in the playground one of the other mums asked what I'd done - the Elastoplast had fallen off and I was still bleeding quite badly. I meant to say I'd given the rabbit a blow dry, but it didn't come out like that.....the playground fell silent and 32 other women turned to look at me in horror 😂 Mortified doesn't even begin to cover how I felt!

I rang my kids in sick to school today and instead of saying Mrs <Surname> I managed to mangle it and somehow said my name was “Milfy”. 😱

So we can leave the country together if you like, OP?!

Don’t worry, I once asked for a McPolla, rather than a McPollo, in a Spanish McDonald’s. A McDick, if you will.

DD age ~4. In the middle of a packed Tesco ‘mam mam mam can I have some cock porn for tv time later’. I went absolutely bright red and prayed for the ground to open up. One poor woman was laughing so much she nearly fell over. Hubby refers to popcorn by that name now.

Cleaner, but she also called the Abba song ‘Chicken Tikka’ which was hilarious.

You should be fine

At a church camp someone was trying to inflate airbeds with a footpump and not getting very far. His wife was losing patience and said "If it won't go up like that it will have to be a blow job!"

I swear it was true.

that reminds me of the time when I still worked in an office, open plan, around 12 people there. somebody spilt paper on the floor and I said it looked like the Durex puppy had been running around.

Somebody said we can tell where your mind is..... I went literally scarlet, I was so embarrassed

Omg cringe 🙈😱🤣

Back in the day we used to pay by cash. I was handed my change and the shop assistant said wanks to me instead of thanks.🤣🤣🤣

This is exactly why I will only book my hair appointments online.

😂

Prepare to fake your own death.