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When is this nightmare going to end?

173 replies

HaychEss · 18/02/2026 02:07

RANT INCOMING… My baby is 5 months now and it has been hell since day one, not even exaggerating. My family and my husbands family have said that she is one of the most challenging babies they have known. Nothing works. It feels like she is just crying all the time and her sleep is also crappy. I feel bad for complaining because I once prayed for a healthy baby and now I feel like I can’t cope. It’s like everyone is getting on with their lives and I’m just stuck with a crying baby. I think I search ‘when do babies sleep through the night’ every other day! Tell me it gets better! What can i do to help baby settle and play better?

OP posts:
MummyWillow1 · 18/02/2026 06:14

If you have ruled out everything with your GP then sometimes babies just cry. My daughter was very clingy, hated being put down for any length of time, screamed herself to sleep most days. I was a walking zombie. I barely remember her first 3 years now (she’s 17 now and amazing!)

Hang in there but definitely ask for help, when you are on your own as sling can be a godsend - but if you haven’t used one up to now you may find it tough carrying her. I used one from birth but had to stop carrying her at about 10 month as when she fell asleep she was a dead weight and too heavy!

Plenty of fresh air was also good for all of us.

Get someone to take her out for a walk during the day while you have a nap. Sleep deprivation makes everything seem 10 times worse.

ShowOfHands · 18/02/2026 06:25

I truly believe difficult babies turn into angel toddlers / children

DS cried constantly as a baby. He cried in the car, pram, pushchair, bath, bed etc. My Dad used to say that it was like DS was protesting about simply having been born. He came out wailing and I remember desperately trying to give him his first feed and he was red-faced, screaming and he stayed that way for quite a long time. The only thing which worked was putting him in the sling and so I did. He lived in there for the first two years of his life.

He did get significantly easier as he got older but he never turned into the laid-back angel people claim he should be. He was a difficult toddler, easily upset and had the most terrible separation anxiety well into primary school.

He's 14 now, sleeps well and is funny, erudite, kind and good company. But he has always been sensitive, highly strung, prone to anxiety and prefers quiet and to be close to home.

Like I said, things got incrementally easier as time went on, particularly once he started sleeping properly but the promised miracle of parenting somehow becoming blessed and easy never quite arrived. Of course the myriad joys make up for it but I did feel a bit like I was chasing a lie for a time. Every time somebody said "oh he'll be an easy toddler/child/teen", I clung to that but ultimately, realising he was just a sensitive boy, prone to anxiety was what helped in the end because I could alter what I was doing rather than waiting for him to change.

Double check with the GP for underlying causes, have faith that it will get easier. Because it will, regardless of the why. Do whatever helps for now, call in all and any help and sleep as much as you can, as often as you can.

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 18/02/2026 06:40

My heart goes out to you OP as my son cried day and night constantly for 10 months until he was walking.
He then got into everything causing chaos, but it was better than the crying. Described by the HV as spirited, he is still a human dynamo as an adult and his energy is used in his successful business.
Hang on in there and try to get some respite whenever you can, even if for a few minutes as it does help.

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chateauneufdupapa · 18/02/2026 06:42

Have you fully investigated silent reflux, CMPA, intolerances etc? In my experience of babies who just cry constantly with no reason, there usually IS an underlying reason.

Pinkissmart · 18/02/2026 06:55

My daughter was a cryer- cranial osteopathy sorted it

WellThatsAllRightThen · 18/02/2026 07:07

I had this with my first, god it was so hard and everyone had such simple advice that never ever worked that it wanted to scream. The "sleep when baby sleeps", swaddle him, my god i tried a tonne of things and drove myself nuts.

Turned out my son had silent reflux so I echo what others have said about a GP appointment. DS basically constantly had a burning in his throat, poor thing. We had to go the GP every 4 weeks for weigh in and medication but it helped. He also suffered from trapped wind so would curl up in a little ball and scream, so gripe water helped and gentle massage.

He also had cranial osteopathy as it came to light he couldn't turn his head as well to one side than the other, a result of his difficult birth apparently (he got stuck). It really did help, even in the first session you could see him relax and move a little better after some very gentle exercise.

Go the GP or see a health visitor and ask

Gonefishingithink · 18/02/2026 07:08

Mamma22cats · 18/02/2026 02:41

My sister's baby was like this. It was hell. She ended up paying for cranial osteopathy and it was like magic. It took six sessions but he just stopped crying after the final one. I hope it gets easier for you, hang in there.

I was going to recommend this.

värskekapsas · 18/02/2026 07:12

If you feel it is really non stop right now, could it be teeth? i remember mine was getting her first teeth come through around that age. Plus 4 months sleep regression, it was just dreadful. But it will get better OP, although may take a bit more time

Totomanoto · 18/02/2026 07:13

My CMPA baby was like this, he wouldn’t sleep at all and spent the nights screaming.
It was so tough. It might be worth going and speaking to your GP, if they say it is reflux then ask to explore what’s causing the reflux as it’s a symptom not a diagnosis.

firstofallimadelight · 18/02/2026 07:18

I had a very difficult baby, I knew this as he was my third So I had something to compare . He slept terribly feed constantly. And screamed in between
Turned out he had cmpa and silent reflux. The right meds/diet helped somewhat.
We coped with the lack of sleep by tag teaming. I bf so I would express a bottle in the day. I would feed about 7. Dh would stay up with ds and give a bottle around 11. I would go to bed and sleep 730- 1sh. So around 5.5 hours. I would be up most of night but would try to grab sleep where possible. Dh would sleep1130-7 when he needed to get up for work. Ds sleep improved around 1 year old what helped the most was stopping night feeds (around 10m) and getting rid of dummy (around 15m) by 18m he slept 9-6. Then when naps dropped he slept 7-6.

Sensiblesal · 18/02/2026 07:19

It will get better OP, you are sleep deprived like most mums & baby crying can take its toll on you.

have a chat with HV/dr check if baby has colic or even something else that may help

but also lean on your family/support network. Sleep in shifts with hubby or have someone come watch the baby while you have a nap. You don’t have to shoulder it all alone

LJGFD · 18/02/2026 07:29

CMPA for us too, I ditched dairy from my diet and just boobed like mad as it really soothed my guy. He slept through at 22 months, this is so so normal :)
cranial osteopathy was a game changer :)

moggerhanger · 18/02/2026 07:35

It does get better, I promise. DD nearly broke me and DH when she was a baby. She's now 14 and a lovely teen, having been a lovely toddler and younger child. Hang in there - I know it's hard when you're in the thick of it.

PaperTyger · 18/02/2026 07:38

Op I hate to ask becusee it's such a contentious issue but are you ebf ?
it's just with my first I messed everything up with thinking I had to pump and all sorts.n
I did bottle and breast until three months and looking back that messed her up.
With no 2 I just breastfed and realised how the other one must have been more hungry than I realised.

With no 2 mostly bf cured any cries...and we were most more jn sink with wash other.

PaperTyger · 18/02/2026 07:39

Oh and again no 2 has a co sleeper cot right next to me.

Crimblecrumble1990 · 18/02/2026 07:39

My second was seriously miserable as a baby, she hated everything and everyone. Doctors at the time just summed it up as her not liking being a baby. She’s 3 now and much better company, still dramatic, prone to sulking, independent and quick to tantrum. But is now also funny, fearless, loves her family and loves to play.

I see babies out and about now just watching the world go by or sitting on their mums laps and it’s just so alien when I think back to her. It does make me feel sad I didn’t have that experience with her, I found it very difficult to bond with someone who cries at you all day… and I certainly wasn’t a very good mum back to her.

Twooclockrock · 18/02/2026 07:40

A friend of mine had a similar problems and paid for cranial therapy i think is the right word which apparently helped.
Ours had colic and we used the gripe water
I think you just have to keep trying different things
I remember thinking my mat leave would be full of lunches with me looking all glam and baby sleeping the pram but in reality it was me looking like ai had crawled out of a well and baby crying and barely leaving the house.. then one day it did get better.⁹

101Nutella · 18/02/2026 07:43

So sorry you’ve got this.
when we had similar it was undiagnosed silent reflux. Took us about 10 months to figure it out. Infant gaviscon helped, but before that keeping them upright after feeds for 10 mins. Using a sling so they were close.

we took turns holding her upright and watching tv at night whilst the other slept and she slept on us.

e just split 7pm-7am in a way that each person got decent unbroken sleep chunks.

it was hard. But totally ignore other people who haven’t gone through it coz they don’t understand and their tips don’t work.

prioritise getting some sleep each of you, unbroken and it will feel better.

Nowimhereandimlost · 18/02/2026 07:46

Both of mine were like this. They both had silent reflux, nothing much to do but wait it out - the second one loved the sling though. It's rough, it gets better

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 18/02/2026 07:48

This was my child! It is hell at that age, I feel for you. I agree with others to follow up on GP appointment and rule out anything medically like reflux etc.

They never found anything with my daughter, we tried GP, osteopathy, nothing helped. She was just a very fussy baby and when she wasn’t happy she absolutely wailed. I was worried she would continue to have a very difficult temperament for life but it got so much easier as she got older. She’s 4 now and she’s as near close to perfect as I could have hoped for, she’s totally mellowed and thinks stories about how much she screamed as a baby are hilarious.

I did eventually realise she has lower than average sleep needs. Although it wasn’t what I wanted (7:00 bedtime would have been the dream), her night sleep improved SO much when I stopped trying to get her to nap so frequently in the day and started putting her to bed later.

If GP can rule out anything medically I think sometimes it’s just a case of hanging in there. They’re all different and they change so much so quickly at that age so you just have to get through it moment by moment.

Lemondrizzle4A · 18/02/2026 07:48

You have my full sympathy. My daughter screamed from the age of three weeks. Doctor’s put it down to me being a first time Mum. The health visitor - babies cry. Took her to be weighed- screaming- new health visitor. Her question of is she always like this - yes. Referral to paediatrician. Before appointment emergency admission with hernia.
The point I’m trying to make is ask for a full health check to eliminate possible causes.
Good luck.

MadinMarch · 18/02/2026 07:48

Mamma22cats · 18/02/2026 02:41

My sister's baby was like this. It was hell. She ended up paying for cranial osteopathy and it was like magic. It took six sessions but he just stopped crying after the final one. I hope it gets easier for you, hang in there.

My full hearted sympathy Op!
Cranial osteopathy seems to really help some crying babies- I really wished I'd tried this twenty six years ago as my daughter also cried constantly and didn't sleep well either.
A baby swing is worth trying too. Also OP, have you noticed that your baby prefers to be more upright? Maybe silent reflux?

JuliettaCaeser · 18/02/2026 07:52

Dd1 did this. She just screamed and screamed all night. I went to 3 gps one a mum of 4 who said some babies are just like that. Builders would shout advice as I walked the streets with her yelling. Nearly broke me. Gradually got my life back from 8 months onwards.

I never really felt jealous of anyone before but was viscerally jealous of nct mums whose babies slept and didn’t scream.

Shes now a calm lovely 19 year old at a RG university with lots of lovely friends. God knows what her problem was as a baby.

Houseshmouse · 18/02/2026 08:00

Cranial osteopath!

Flowerlovinglady · 18/02/2026 08:00

If you breastfeed, it could be your baby isn't getting enough milk? One of my children was really difficult to settle. I was determined to continue breastfeeding but just couldn't produce enough milk so in the end had to put her on formula milk and she was fairly easy after that. Babies are unsettled for a reason - if it isn't feeding then it'll be something else.

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