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Original poster

When is this nightmare going to end?

173 replies

HaychEss · 18/02/2026 02:07

RANT INCOMING… My baby is 5 months now and it has been hell since day one, not even exaggerating. My family and my husbands family have said that she is one of the most challenging babies they have known. Nothing works. It feels like she is just crying all the time and her sleep is also crappy. I feel bad for complaining because I once prayed for a healthy baby and now I feel like I can’t cope. It’s like everyone is getting on with their lives and I’m just stuck with a crying baby. I think I search ‘when do babies sleep through the night’ every other day! Tell me it gets better! What can i do to help baby settle and play better?

OP posts:
Bitsandbobs2 · 19/02/2026 23:15

I cried non stop until 1 year old. My whole family were exhausted, they literally checked me for every single disease. Endless tests, scans, etc. Even doctors were concerned what's going on. I was absolutely healthy baby.
It simply stopped 3 days after my first birthday.

Labamba78 · 19/02/2026 23:19

My baby was like this. It was hell. I was too frightened to take her anywhere on my own in case she started crying and didn’t stop. If she wasn’t eating or sleeping she was crying. For months. It was unbearable.
I think once she started crawling it got better. If it helps, she is now an absolutely delightful toddler who I adore spending time with. From 18 months onwards was when I really started enjoying being with her, but it got easier before that.
It’s a tough gig - hang in there.

CyclopsElf · 19/02/2026 23:33

My now 13 yr old DD was like this. Nothing I did made her happy. Would never sleep. She's an absolutely wonderful teenager now but still a crap sleeper. Only she stays in her bedroom and doesn't make it my problem anymore!

If I was there for myself back then I would have said list all of the things you think aren't right and talk to your HV. If she doesn't give you any help find another one at a different place e.g. weighing session and keep going until you find one you click with. Hello Hayley if you're reading!

She was a godsend and I wish I hadn't kept on with my useless one (piss off Jane!) for so long. It was only luck I went to the different weighing session and met Hayley because all the other attempts I'd made had ended with 'all babies are a bit sicky' (CMPI and full stomach vomits daily), 'babies will sleep when they're tired' (no they will not) or 'it's just a phase' (but what if it isn't and I have to deal with this forever?)

The icing on the cake was Kerri who was a sleep consultant and within 2 weeks had her routine sorted and I finally had a happy baby (because she was awake and miserable all the time)

That was 16 months and after then we discussed the idea of baby number 2 (who was/is an absolute dream in comparison and I did nothing differently!) because before then it was torture getting through the day and night.

It sucks. Sleep deprivation is a known torture device. If your baby will sleep genuinely actually definitely do have a nap too. Sod all the other jobs. Everything will be much better after you get some sleep. I promise you. Good luck.

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AutumnAllTheWay · 19/02/2026 23:33

We had a baby just like yours. Unless youve had one, you don't know. Its awful. Ours would wake up crying from every nap. Subsequent children were a walk in the park.

He just hated being a baby. With every new milestone, he got a tiny bit happier.

If it helps, he is now the most caring, empathetic, fun 11 year old a d it was totally worth it.

I do remember when every day felt like a week, and every minute felt like an hour.

Hang in there, it will get better x

Original poster
HaychEss · 20/02/2026 00:04

ACommonTreasuryForAll · 18/02/2026 19:53

OP, hang in there. DC1 was very challenging and had me feeling absolutely insane with exhaustion and as if I was living in a sort of alternative reality hell-bubble for long periods, and nearly 16 years later, I still sort of flinch at the recollection -and I'm really a very relaxed and see-the-best-in-everything kind of person. Subsequent DC -a breeze.

I'd say, beware the validation of friends and family in pronouncing your baby incredibly challenging. While I absolutely understand how important it is to know that it's not just 'in your head', the most constructive thing may be for you to have it reflected back to you that you're really doing the best you can in tricky circumstances, and that, despite your baby being a tough customer, you're doing an amazing job, and that your maternal instinct, despite you being under phenomenal strain, must be an awesome force of nature which manages to sustain your mothering, even when it feels utterly thankless and desperate. This capacity to live through this phase of your life on hard mode, while it's something you never asked for, and which is causing you to profoundly question yourself, is going to be transformational and you're doing it, one crappy night and grizzly meet-up with friends at a time. It definitely will pass, but I honestly think the challenge-level of having a high needs baby who doesn't sleep outweighs any number of other life-challenges; you're amazing.

Hearing this from a complete stranger is heart warming 🥲💕

OP posts:
Original poster
HaychEss · 20/02/2026 00:08

CyclopsElf · 19/02/2026 23:33

My now 13 yr old DD was like this. Nothing I did made her happy. Would never sleep. She's an absolutely wonderful teenager now but still a crap sleeper. Only she stays in her bedroom and doesn't make it my problem anymore!

If I was there for myself back then I would have said list all of the things you think aren't right and talk to your HV. If she doesn't give you any help find another one at a different place e.g. weighing session and keep going until you find one you click with. Hello Hayley if you're reading!

She was a godsend and I wish I hadn't kept on with my useless one (piss off Jane!) for so long. It was only luck I went to the different weighing session and met Hayley because all the other attempts I'd made had ended with 'all babies are a bit sicky' (CMPI and full stomach vomits daily), 'babies will sleep when they're tired' (no they will not) or 'it's just a phase' (but what if it isn't and I have to deal with this forever?)

The icing on the cake was Kerri who was a sleep consultant and within 2 weeks had her routine sorted and I finally had a happy baby (because she was awake and miserable all the time)

That was 16 months and after then we discussed the idea of baby number 2 (who was/is an absolute dream in comparison and I did nothing differently!) because before then it was torture getting through the day and night.

It sucks. Sleep deprivation is a known torture device. If your baby will sleep genuinely actually definitely do have a nap too. Sod all the other jobs. Everything will be much better after you get some sleep. I promise you. Good luck.

I’ve already changed my health visitor once because i literally felt like she didn’t have a maternal bone in her body! Reached out to my current one and waiting for a call back. Hoping she is my Hayley!

OP posts:
Original poster
HaychEss · 20/02/2026 00:10

Labamba78 · 19/02/2026 23:19

My baby was like this. It was hell. I was too frightened to take her anywhere on my own in case she started crying and didn’t stop. If she wasn’t eating or sleeping she was crying. For months. It was unbearable.
I think once she started crawling it got better. If it helps, she is now an absolutely delightful toddler who I adore spending time with. From 18 months onwards was when I really started enjoying being with her, but it got easier before that.
It’s a tough gig - hang in there.

Aww my brother actually said to me yesterday why are you scared of her? I’m just always on edge and hardly leave the house because of her crying.

OP posts:
Original poster
HaychEss · 20/02/2026 00:13

Mithral · 18/02/2026 09:17

I had one like this, fucking nightmare and I still feel slightly traumatised by the experience. Honestly though it's not a long period of time when you look back, you will get through it. Mine has been a delightful child from about 2 - he's 11 now and still really easy. Laid back, smart, kind. I still absolutely appreciate the fact I can sleep uninterrupted though, I have not forgotten the feeling at all.

I used to like to tell myself he was frustrated as he was so much more intelligent than the thick and docile babies my friends had. Whatever gets you through!

Edited to add- I remember starting a thread on here at about the stage you're at which was very similar. I actually felt like running away it was so hard.

Edited

😂 I mean she is a pretty smart baby
DH and I are planning on going away in the summer without baby and it cannot come any sooner!

OP posts:
EnjoyingTheArmoire · 20/02/2026 00:17

What are you treating her reflux with?

Hang in there, it does get better.

Dickensian1234 · 20/02/2026 00:35

Please don't take her to an osteopath. Try some medicine for reflux. Walk with her attached to you ( sling) or outdoors in a stroller where she can see the world. Co-sleep. Good luck.

Booboobagins · 20/02/2026 01:49

I took my daughter to a specialist osteopath to make sure she didn't have any joint kinks. She checked out fine.

Her constant crying was associated with her food. I moved her to a milk that was easy to digest - it helped hugely. We now know she has loads of food allergies in gluten. A hair sample sent off to the lab might help if it is her reacting to foods. Try Groupon or wow her to see if there's a deal.

Sending a hug for you, but poor baby.

Girlygal · 20/02/2026 06:29

HaychEss · 20/02/2026 00:13

😂 I mean she is a pretty smart baby
DH and I are planning on going away in the summer without baby and it cannot come any sooner!

Show quote history

How old would the baby be and for how many days? Your emotions are normal as lack of sleep is awful. I really wouldn’t be going away without a baby or a toddler.

Original poster
HaychEss · 20/02/2026 06:37

EnjoyingTheArmoire · 20/02/2026 00:17

What are you treating her reflux with?

Hang in there, it does get better.

She’s on Gaviscon sachets

OP posts:
Reevester · 20/02/2026 07:17

GP, chiropractor & osteopath. You will get through this 🧡

ParlezVousMangeTout · 20/02/2026 07:38

Mamma22cats · 18/02/2026 02:41

My sister's baby was like this. It was hell. She ended up paying for cranial osteopathy and it was like magic. It took six sessions but he just stopped crying after the final one. I hope it gets easier for you, hang in there.

I was going to say this. MY baby was the same, I took him to a cranial osteopath and he only had one session and came home a different baby.

ParlezVousMangeTout · 20/02/2026 07:42

Dickensian1234 · 20/02/2026 00:35

Please don't take her to an osteopath. Try some medicine for reflux. Walk with her attached to you ( sling) or outdoors in a stroller where she can see the world. Co-sleep. Good luck.

Why not?

it’s not like an adult going to a chiropractor where they physically manipulate you and crack you. The cranial osteopath that I took my baby to just gently laid her hands on him and closed her eyes, she seemed to be doing nothing but the effect was miraculous.

Vicotto · 20/02/2026 09:50

My first was like this, it was so challenging, I spent most of the first 6 months crying and it was during covid lockdowns so I was so isolated & alone as my husband still had to work, our HV was rubbish too and I only saw her once.
He had silent reflux and we got Omeprezole liquid which helped a bit but things only really started to get better from 7 months when he started more solid foods.
I won’t offer any advice because I imagine you’ve probably tried everything already, but just did want to add that it will get better. Hang in there, you are doing brilliantly ❤️

2boyzNosleep · 20/02/2026 10:33

My 2nd was like this- a highly strung baby, crying lots, terrible sleeper (waking about every 30min- 1.5hours in the night, every night.

He did have CMPA which caused lots of issues, then needed a tonsillectomy as he had massive tonsils that caused sleep apnea.

He's nearly 4 years old and still wakes 3-4 times in the night. I suspect he may have ADHD due to some other things.

2boyzNosleep · 20/02/2026 10:38

HaychEss · 20/02/2026 00:10

Aww my brother actually said to me yesterday why are you scared of her? I’m just always on edge and hardly leave the house because of her crying.

Show quote history

I know its easy for me to say but usually its better being out the house because they are more distracted. It does depend where you go though- a walk outside or some sort of baby class- shops and a cafe not so much.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 20/02/2026 18:12

You need to take her out OP.
A walk around a park/nature reserve or somewhere like that with trees (good energy), birds and if possible a lake/river etc. all raise vibrations. The sounds will intrigue her. Also, if she does cry then you won't be amongst loads of people.

Also, she can feel your energy and if you're anxious she's going to sense it which will make her feel uncertain.

3luckystars · 20/02/2026 18:15

Gaviscon is it enough.

Gossipisgood · 11/03/2026 15:25

Did you have a difficult birth? If so it could be your child is out of alignment & a visit to the Chiropractor might help. A friend of mine took her baby at 6 months old as she had a feeling baby was feeling pain or discomfort. a couple of sessions later & baby was a different child. Happy, smiley, sleeping through the night & a lot more pleasant in general.

chateauneufdupapa · 12/03/2026 10:56

HaychEss · 20/02/2026 06:37

She’s on Gaviscon sachets

Show quote history

Thats next to useless. Get to the GP and get her on omeprazole

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