When is this nightmare going to end?

[HaychEss]

RANT INCOMING… My baby is 5 months now and it has been hell since day one, not even exaggerating. My family and my husbands family have said that she is one of the most challenging babies they have known. Nothing works. It feels like she is just crying all the time and her sleep is also crappy. I feel bad for complaining because I once prayed for a healthy baby and now I feel like I can’t cope. It’s like everyone is getting on with their lives and I’m just stuck with a crying baby. I think I search ‘when do babies sleep through the night’ every other day! Tell me it gets better! What can i do to help baby settle and play better?

My baby was like this. I took him to a cranial osteopath and it was fixed within two visits.

It's absolutely worth a shot op. There might be a solution here.

Oh OP I remember this feeling and when people kept saying it will pass eventually I wanted to pull my hair out and scream but when?! It felt relentless and I joked about throwing them out the window.

Second previous posters to make a GP appointment and maybe check if there is an allergy added into the mix.

I had one like this, fucking nightmare and I still feel slightly traumatised by the experience. Honestly though it's not a long period of time when you look back, you will get through it. Mine has been a delightful child from about 2 - he's 11 now and still really easy. Laid back, smart, kind. I still absolutely appreciate the fact I can sleep uninterrupted though, I have not forgotten the feeling at all.

I used to like to tell myself he was frustrated as he was so much more intelligent than the thick and docile babies my friends had. Whatever gets you through!

Edited to add- I remember starting a thread on here at about the stage you're at which was very similar. I actually felt like running away it was so hard.

I'm sorry to hear how tough things are for you at the moment. Re the sleeping at night, I don't think it's unusual at only 5 months to not be sleeping through/to be waking lots, certainly was the case for mine anyway. I think it might be helpful to forget what other people's babies are doing sleep wise and accept that that's where you're at at the moment. I remember finding it infuriating when other mums at baby groups had babies sleeping through- it is definitely not the norm at that age! Although I still have an almost 3 year old who doesn't sleep through consistently so maybe that clouds my judgement.

Someone else also mentioned CMPA, my little one had this and it certainly made for a very hairy newborn period so get that checked out. Hang in there!

Is your husband pulling his weight?

@Mamma22cats This!

We had the same in my family. Constantly crying baby who couldn’t put on any weight despite no obvious health issues. One visit to a cranial sacral therapist and there was a new child the following morning.

Sleeping through the night is a 5 hour stretch in babies. Not the 12 you probably imagined. Does the baby go 5 hours at night at least?

What is it that is making it so difficult exactly?
When is she crying? Is it when she is out down, being carried, being fed?

what does your average day look like? Are you out-and-about?

Have you spoken to your gp to rule out health reasons for constant crying?

If it helps, DS was the whiniest baby and toddler ever (albeit he did sleep so I appreciate I had it easier than you) Nevertheless, the first two years were so long- I was basically tied to a dementor. But, he became the most chill, easy and laid back child and still is aged 15 (a bit too chill in fact but there you go).

I know it feels endless right now but it will end. But in the meantime, tea and sympathy.

People will always tell you babies crying is normal. Of course it is to a certain extent.

I don’t know a single baby who was like this who didn’t have an underlying issue.

For mine it was lactose intolerance which doctors repeatedly told me wasn’t the issue. After two nights moving lactase treated milk he was a changed baby.

As baby is only 5 months should be quite easy to test this first.

If no food issues I would look at making a diary of when they are most and least settled and see if there is any kind of pattern.

All day crying for months is not normal.

This is what I was going to recommend. It's miraculous.

I agree. I once phoned 999 because my baby wouldnt stop crying. The phone operator asked me how long he had been crying for and I lied because i thought i sounded ridiculous saying 40 minutes. But my babies were breastfed, fed instantly and just didnt cry for longer than the time it took them to express annoyance for lunch not being on time. Ambulance took us in and he was sick and we stayed on the children's ward a few nights.

As others have said we had similar with my Son. He cried non stop for around 5 months - took him to a cranial osteopath and within 3 sessions he was much happier, it was an amazing difference. He also suffered from colic due to an intolerance to cows milk so we changed his formula to a goat milk formula which also helped.

I favour breastfeeding but had to give my daughter a bottle at night because although she seemed to breastfeed well by the night feed i was tired so unknown to me not enough milk and she was hungry. She had a bottle at night and slept much better.

Does your baby have Reflux or possible Silent Reflux? Speaking as the mum to a reflux baby it can be (and was) HELL. I totally feel your pain. She screamed 24/7 didn't sleep and was a total misery to take anywhere. Baby groups were hideous as was coffee with other mums as she never ever stopped screaming. See your GP, don't let them fob you off with "it's normal, babies cry" or "oh, is this your first?"... We only get help after she ended up in hospital paeds ward for something else. Paediatrician took one look at me trying to feed her and diagnosed her immediately. Meds helped a bit but she didn't become her lovely sunny self until we moved to solids (she refused any milk at all from 10 months).

I had one of those. It does get better.

The dream baby on the other hand...

Probably silent reflux. Needs dairy free formula and Omeprazole.

This was for us to. Total magic.
I was on my knees at 4-5 months, then at 6 months, she started sleeping through after the cranial work.

Run to the most reputable one you can find

I had a very difficult baby, he cried constantly for no reason at all. Or at least, no reason that could be resolved, I suspect he just hated being a baby and was frustrated all the time he wasn’t being actively stimulated.

Things massively improved each time he became a bit more independent. Sitting up and reaching for things improved things. Crawling and walking were both skills that massive decreased his crying and need for us to stimulate him. Once he could fetch the things he wanted for himself, he became so much easier.

He’s still more intense than his peers in terms of needing to constantly be doing things that engage him mentally, but overall he isn’t a demanding child and he is able to entertain himself a lot (both things I was worried he wouldn’t be able to do!).

See GP and consider seeing an osteopath. Can you safely co-sleep? Gets us way more sleep. And maybe adjust your expectations, it's rare for a 5 month old to sleep 'through the night'. My 16 month old has never slept through, always had at least one wake. Adults wake in the night, I think too many parents forget that night wakes are totally normal Just do whatever works to get the most sleep. Split the night with your partner if you can.

Book a cranial osteopath today!!!

I came to say the same. My DS was an absolute nightmare; cried all the time. Health visitor suggested cranial osteopathy so we booked him in and he had 4 sessions. It worked a treat. Poor little mite was in pain with colic/wind. The therapist started treatment on day 1 and you couldn't see what movements she was making on his skull but all of a sudden he farted and he didn't stop for about 3 minutes. She suggested taking his nappy off and changing him as he'd likely had a poo as well but when I did, his nappy was completely empty...it was all wind.

This sounds like my first baby. If he was awake, he was crying. It was silent reflux and in retrospect I suspect a dairy intolerance. We tried cranial osteopathy (not sure it worked for us!), but would take him out for naps in a sling so he was upright (involved a lot of walking in all weathers!), or when he was older in a more upright buggy. He wouldn’t sleep for more than 30mins in the day or an hour at night. Do see your GP and do keep going back if it’s not improving! I only realised when I had my second that it was not normal at all! Good luck, it’s so exhausting.

dd2 woke every hour until about 10 months. She had silent reflux so the medication helped the crying but it seemed to make the sleeplessness worse. Cranial osteopath maybe helped a bit... Helped me to be trying lots of options mainly.

Finding a bottle she could take and moving to formula was the final switch at 9-10 months for proper sleep. I had gone dairy free for the breast-feeding before that to try and help.

It was a tough time. Make sure you use all the support you have!

I'm not going to give you a timeline on where it'll get better, because all babies are different. But what I will say is the things never stay the same for long with a baby - and the younger they are the faster things change. So the challenges you're dealing with now may well have gone in a month, and whilst they'll be replaced with new ones, they may be ones you find easier to manage.

I'd also suggest not googling when babies sleep through, in fact, try to banish that from your mind, because there's no answer. For my friends and myself, our range has been 6 weeks to 8 years! But depending on how you're feeding, that's something that can be shared.

I get the feeling that your babies crying in the day is more of the issue, and then you're not getting recovery time at night, which makes the days seem worse.

I can go to your health restaurant GP and try and see if there's anything behind it, if not, wait it out and it will pass. Your baby might be one of those that just doesn't like being a baby!

You'll find your feet. I'm not sure it ever gets easier in reality, but we get more used to it. I'm better able to deal with the curveballs that parenthood throws at us.

I did the same. My daughter had colic and cried all the time. It was miserable. In desperation (and on the recommendation of a friend) I took her to a cranial osteopath. The crying calmed down after 1 session and after session 2 completely stopped.