Fibs your parents told you as a child

[GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf]

I’ll go first:

• My dad told me that under the “J2Os prohibition and monitoring act 2005” children were only allowed one J2O in a pub per visit because they have too much sugar in.
• He also told me that I hatched out of a cocoon instead of being born (none of my other siblings hatched it was just me).
• My mum told my brother he’s ginger because she drank too much orange juice when she was pregnant.
• My uncle told me he scrapped polar bears in Canada and that’s how he got his face.

When I pulled a sour face at something, my dad would say 'if the wind changes your face will stick like that.'

Same when I went cross-eyed for a few seconds.. (My eyes will stick cross-eyed if the wind changes.)

My gran used to tell me if I sit too close to the fire, all the marrow in my bones will dry up and all my bones will snap.

My dad told me you prick sausages before frying them to make sure they're dead... I've been veggie since I was 9.

Mum told me children don't get headaches so I must not really have one... She was a nurse and I rarely had a sick day off school.

That’s funny but I can definitely see why you’re a veggie

Eat the crusts of the bread so your hair goes curly
Dont touch egg shells or make sure you wash your hands or you will get warts

Whenever we had a screwball ice cream from the van, we’d get to the bottom and there was no bubblegum… we’d get upset and Dad would commiserate and say how rubbish the ice cream van man was. We never realised he signalled to the guy every single time to not put it in the tub 🙄🤦‍♀️

Ah well yes, it’s a known fact that chewing gum gets tangled in your intestines and never digests! … cheers mum for that lifelong fear

My mum told me that a girl fell off the bus station roof (we lived very close to it) and broke every bone in her body, and had them all reset without anaesthetic, obviously to discourage me from climbing up there.

I don’t know why, I didn’t even climb trees, never mind bus station roofs.

Not my parents, but my brother told me that all the skeletons in the graveyard opposite our house would climb out if their graves and get me. That one did terrify me! 😂

Very good point, yes - and if you swallow an apple pip you will have a full size tree grow inside you within weeks

My grandma had a gong. She told me the servants used to bang it when dinner was ready. She told me this when I was about 8 and I believed it for years. My grandparents were poor.

Brother also told me he played X box with Santa and then when I would annoy him he would talk into the mic to Santa and say I was being bad and I would get really upset

Aw, that's kind of sad.

The cat may have to go and live on a boat to help catch mice.... (old cat about to die!)

Dad,where are you going?
Away to see a man about a dog.
I looked out the window all afternoon for his return expecting a dog.

Didn't know it meant ..mind your own business..cue very disappointed child(me)

Mum told me I had a massive strawberry birthmark on head who was covered by having long hair. Hairdresser in my 20’s confirmed there was no birthmark

My Dad also did the going tae see a man aboot a dug (Glaswegian) . He was going for a pee !

A Pee is short lived ,I looked out that window for blood hours or it felt like it.
Don't know if it was a Scottish thing this was Aberdeen early 70s.

Seriously, I believe strawberry birthmarks can fade away. I knew one that did.

Small farm, 1950s. "Daddy, why has Mr. R brought his bull to see our cow?" "For a bit of company." Not really a fib but not quite the whole truth.

Great-Uncle Jim told us that Santa lived in his attic. He also told us that there was a candy tree up there and whenever he expected us to visit 'he and Santa' would go pick candies off the tree. And that was why he always had a full candy jar when we showed up.

Never occurred to us to question him about Santa, even when we knew Santa lived at the North Pole. I guess we just wanted to believe.

ETA; he told us if we went up to the attic 'Santa would disappear'. We never took the chance.

my dad always said this ,we were south east london.We waited for a little dog for years 😢

we used to go to Southend on sea a lot when I was a child. My dad used to say that the land that you can see opposite the sea (estuary) was France. I believed that until I found out that it’s Kent!

Yes!! For years my dad did this- I wanted a dog so much too!!

I was born with a strawberry type mark on face that vanished by age 2.

My Grandad told me the seventh wave was the biggest
I now realise counting waves was a way to shut me up.

Mouth ulcers are caused by lying.
Bubblegum stays in your stomach for 3 years, chewing gum for 7.
If you pick cow parsley you will wet yourself (same with dandelions but that was mainly The Law of the Playground TBF).