Fibs your parents told you as a child

[GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf]

I’ll go first:

• My dad told me that under the “J2Os prohibition and monitoring act 2005” children were only allowed one J2O in a pub per visit because they have too much sugar in.
• He also told me that I hatched out of a cocoon instead of being born (none of my other siblings hatched it was just me).
• My mum told my brother he’s ginger because she drank too much orange juice when she was pregnant.
• My uncle told me he scrapped polar bears in Canada and that’s how he got his face.

My niece had a birthmark which disappeared by the time she was 5.
It depends what sort you have.

That our new baby rabbita cried in the night for their mums so dad took them back to the farm first thing in the morning. I found out 30 years later the foxes ate them.
And that my pet fish lived for 10 years. It was several fish.
And that jack frost would eat my toes if they werent under the covers at night.

There is a ‘game’ called sleeping bunnies, there’s a song and everything. It is definitely used to get a few seconds peace though. I vaguely remember a sleeping lions game as well!

My school friend’s dad told her she was allergic to all makeup so she would stop asking to wear it.

My mum told my brother (probably about 9 years old at the time) that his pet rabbit had escaped its cage. She couldn’t bear to tell him that foxes had ripped the poor bunny to shreds. He only discovered the truth in his mid-20s.

Not sure if it’s an actual fib but I believe the word “soon” meant ages away until I was like 10 or 11 because it was used so often to describe things that happened ages later.

If you sit too close to the TV you’ll get square eyes. I don’t have square eyes so guess I was far enough away.

My Dad used to go and see a man about a dog as well, West Country.

Not my parents lie, but as I was the only ginger (with freckles) in the sibling group, (my grandad was ginger) my older brother told me that when i was a baby, my mother didnt have any towels to dry me after the bath, so hung me outside on the washing line to dry... but it rained ... and I rusted! 🤣🤣🤣

My mum told me if I sat on a cold stone step I’d get piles. She genuinely believed it too.

Without a logical explanation as to ‘how’, her six year old daughter remained unconvinced. I always was a tough case to crack…

When I was small, ( one of 6 kids), I asked my mum how she always knew what we were up to. She said she had eyes in the back of her head and that only adults had them.
I also told my children this.

My parents either told me or didn’t correct my thoughts that my beloved grandfather died of emphysema. In fact he committed suicide when I was 6. It all came out at a family funeral 20 years ago.
I’d only been to his grave once which caused hilarious fun when trying to scatter mum’s (his daughter’s) ashes and we couldn’t find the grave. Thankfully we’re all pretty irreverent.

Not true! It gets wrapped around you lungs.

I was told the cold dyke or step one but it was pretty irrelevant to me as a child.
I didn't know what piles were.

Grandad told me and my sister that speed bumps were children who'd been knocked down when they didn't look before crossing. Traumatised but it worked.

And old dogs going to live on a farm!

@redyellowgreenandblue bloody hell that is extreme.
I'm saying that public info films employed the same tactic to scare us kids shitless.70s.

In saying that.

Growing up in the 70’s we didn’t have a car so I often used to ask how we’d get to wherever we were going. I’d usually get the reply “we’ll have to take Shanks’ pony”. I was horse mad at the time so you can only imagine the disappointment when no pony arrived and we had to walk 😂 Not really a lie as such but I always lived in anticipation of that pony.

One my husband said to his kids when they were little. They’d had their dinner and been put to bed then we sat down for our evening meal. For some reason I decided to meow like a cat and he meowed back. We did it again a couple of times before getting tired of it (don’t ask me why we did it, seemed like a good idea at the time). Anyway the next day we were taking the kids out in the car and suddenly his son piped up “dad… last night when I was in bed Snugglything meowed at you and you meowed back!” His dad, quick as a flash said well back in Cromwell’s day he made a law that if ever someone meowed at you, you had to meow back. Absolute silence from the back of the car. He then went on to explain that the law had to be repealed because no one got anything done as they were too busy meowing. I’m not sure if they believed us or not.

My grandmother told her daughter (my mother) who related it to me that:
you must never wash your hair if on your period, you will go mad.
if you swallow apple pips a tree will grow in your stomach. Ditto grape seeds.
That you shouldn’t run a burn under cold water, but put butter on it.
Bonkers. But it was common knowledge back in her time.

If you eat more than 6 grapes you will get drunk as they ferment in your tummy. She carried this on to her grandchildren 🤣

My grandad to me that if I picked a dandelion,I would pee the bed

He said it with such seriousness that im 47 and have never picked one in my life

I'll kick the seeds but I will never pick one

My dp thinks im insane but after childbirth,my bladder is dodgy anyway so id rather not risk it

Grandad told me a story that when he was young,he knew a girl that had a dandelion patterned dress and it was known as a 'piss the bed dress' (I have no idea if she wore it and wet the bed that night)

My father also convinced us that all frogs where called 'croaka', all seagulls where called 'rover' and all lorries where called 'dennis'

It seems he asked us when we where younger,these where our answers so he waited until we where a bit older and convinced us that he was telling the truth

Wed stand there yelling 'rover' at seagulls and 'croaka' at any frogs!

Is it actually true that dock leaves make nettle stings better ? I always suspected it was a lie to create distraction. I also think it’s bull that head lice “prefer clean hair”

Lots of shite stuff:
If the wind changes, your face will stick like that
Chewing gum gets wrapped around your intestines
If you go out without a coat, you will get a chill
Ditto the above outcome with wet hair
Sitting on a hot radiator will give you piles
Cracking knuckles causes arthritis

1- The ice-cream van plays music when it ran out of icecream.
2- if I was naughty I'll go in a home. She would pout it out on the bus (it was a random office building).
3- Santa is always watching.
4- Grandad told me his dimple on his chin was from getting shot by an arrow. (🫣 He watched a lot of cowboy and Indian films)

Yes, dock leaves do make stinging nettles better. Also vinegar on wasp stings work, my country born dad taught me that.
I agree about the head lice and clean hair.