Fibs your parents told you as a child

[GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf]

I’ll go first:

• My dad told me that under the “J2Os prohibition and monitoring act 2005” children were only allowed one J2O in a pub per visit because they have too much sugar in.
• He also told me that I hatched out of a cocoon instead of being born (none of my other siblings hatched it was just me).
• My mum told my brother he’s ginger because she drank too much orange juice when she was pregnant.
• My uncle told me he scrapped polar bears in Canada and that’s how he got his face.

Meant to say, I agree with you about the head lice etc…

Aye the put you in a home one ,thinking back that was a cruel one not so much a fib more a threat

My mum used to tell me when I asked what’s for dinner she’d say ‘shit with sugar on’.

Oh the ice cream van one is a good one.

I ate a lot of bread crusts, hoping for curls. Just retired, hair still straight as a stick. My father always told my son, “ I’m so old, I had to ride a dinosaur to school!” DS was about 12 when my DF passed, and said he really regretted not having a chance to tell his Grandpa that he always believed it and really, really wished for his own dinosaur. Now I like to tell children the same story, keeping my DF story alive for another generation.

Vinegar for 'vasps' bicarb for bees, it's to do with neutralising the acidity or alkalinity of the poison in the sting.

My grandad used to tell me he was a 'bush baptist' I used to think it was a strange religion until I was an adult and realised he was talking about 'wild wees'. Which I never ever saw him do incidentally.

I was told the ice cream man was empty if the music was going.
Tooth fairies grind up fallen out teeth to make the teeth for babies.
Pigs eat people, therefore do not go near pigs.
I used to think 'splitting your head open' would expose your brain.
If the wind changes you'll stay like that (with grumpy faces).
Farmyard smells - 'smelt like broken glass' according to my mum.
There was enough blue in the sky to make a sailors uniform, it took me a lot of puzzling trying to work out how they would get the sky down.
Planes would fall out of the sky if they went through a cloud. Don't like flying still!

My mum told us if the ice cream van was ringing their bell then it meant they had run out of ice cream!

That life is great and you should be grateful we brought you here!!

We also got fed the sitting on a concrete step would give you piles. If we asked what was for dinner it was either ifits (if we’ve got it you can have it) or shit wi’ sugar on. And that a haggis was a creature with a tartan body, 2 short legs and 2 long legs so it could run round hills, imagine my shock on seeing one in the beano and was gobsmacked that it was common knowledge!

I got Y is a crooked letter you can't straighten it when I asked questions, no such word as can't. Eat your crusts you won't get curly hair, eat your carrots you will see in the dark.

If I didn’t wash behind my ears potatoes would grow there 🫢

I was told that only children have sugar in their tea. Adults don't. Wanting to be grown-up, I stopped having sugar!

That l was born and foind under a cabbage.

My boy cousins were all told by their fathers that wanking makes you deaf.

That you could get duty free on the Woolwich ferry (south Londoners only will know how funny this is)…
I repeated this as a joke to an American tourist customer whilst working as a waitress whilst doing A-levels and they believed it 🫣. Got a real telling off from the boss though he couldn’t keep a straight face 😂

What?

You beat me to it👍😁

That I was an only child....

Ditto.
My little mum used to do likewise on a regular basis. Never did find out where she went, or why.
Oh the bitter sting of disappointment when she always returned empty handed🥺. It still haunts me to this day......
I'm still waiting for a furry best friend to run into my arms.. ...

This is against the rules maybe, but I'm a bit of a rebel.
This is a lie I told my youngest son when he was little.

In this downtown area (US) there's a ground floor of a tall office building which is used as a children's daycare center. It had ceiling to floor widows, all the way around it. You could see the little children playing throughout the daycare center.
Driving past, when Billy Burdock was about 4, I shouted out, "Oh, that's the shop we bought you from. We got you really cheap because you had a crack in your bum".
He's almost 40 and still remembers this. He says it pissed him off believing he'd been on sale and sold cheap.

The daycare is still there, but the windows are covered now because of the homeless people having sex up against the glass windows.

'Don't eat sugar, you'll get worms' (Nan.)
'Argh, don't pick Motherdie for me'. (Mum)

Thing is, I think they believed it..

When we went to stay with my uncle and his family for holidays my dad used to say he and uncle were going to see a man about a dog. I used to get quite excited about the new dog but when I asked my aunt she said they'd gone to the pub. I remember asking dad what he'd had for lunch, he said beer, I said that's not lunch. His reply was, I chewed it!

Both of my children were born with them on their foreheads,(different parts btw) visible all of the time, then they seemed just fade away…except when theyre v.hot/upset/temperature, then they’re visible again :) I love them they do too

What did he have in the attic 😲

My Mother told my siblings and I that a black spot on would appear on our tongue if we were telling a lie. Only visible to adults. She always knew which if was the culprit when she said ‘right stick your tongues out’ 😂

My dad told me Home and Away was cancelled so he could watch Seinfeld.