Fibs your parents told you as a child

[GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf]

I’ll go first:

• My dad told me that under the “J2Os prohibition and monitoring act 2005” children were only allowed one J2O in a pub per visit because they have too much sugar in.
• He also told me that I hatched out of a cocoon instead of being born (none of my other siblings hatched it was just me).
• My mum told my brother he’s ginger because she drank too much orange juice when she was pregnant.
• My uncle told me he scrapped polar bears in Canada and that’s how he got his face.

A stork mark!

The ice cream van used to come at about 4pm after school which was fair game… but then he’d come back around later at about 7/7:30 aka near bed time.

They told me on his second go around he only sold meat pies, no ice cream, so I wouldn’t mither for one😂😂😂

Tickles me now, because it worked!

Not quite a child but my mum told me that the Pill caused varicose veins, great advice for a 16 year old 🙄

No that’s probably not a lie!

Haemangiomas aka strawberry birth marks can be very prominent (raised and red) but disappear around age 6/7/8.

If you hold a guinea pig up by its tail, its eyes would drop out. We never had a gp growing up so it wasnt until I met my friends gpigs that holding them by the tail would be pretty impossible.

When the ice cream man played music, he had run out of ice cream.

My daughter had a very prominent one on her neck, by the time she was 19, it had faded completely. Not saying your mum didn’t lie, just saying from experience.

If nobody was under your bed in the day, then it meant Mr Nobody would be under your bed at night. Scared the living shit out of me and even now at 42 I don’t like getting out of bed in the dark!

My mum told me the cats eyes in the middle of the road were real eyes from real dead cats!

My mum had a teacher friend who told pupils that chewing gum was made from bat guano ...
My cousin's parents told her there was an animal called a ham. They'd pass a field, driving on holiday, and too late, her dad would shout, 'Did you see the massive ham in that field?!' They also told her about the spaghetti tree ... (and for southern US friends, the grits bush)

And where's that old saw about the ice cream van: it only plays music when they've run out ...

My dad used to tell us to walk around a statue 3 times and ask what he/she wanted because they'd say, 'Nothing.' And, amazingly, they always said nothing.

As a child i lived with my grandad

My mother was a sucker for a freebie (she'd spend £20 just to get a £1 freebie) and around the time I was about 7/8 ish she started buying these flower fairy dolls and collected the tokens so she could send off for a small purple box for teeth

It arrived,got shoved in a drawer and finally a tooth fell out

I popped it in my box and put that under my pillow

Woke up the following day and there was my shiny coin but the tooth was still in the box

I asked grandad why the tooth fairy hasn't taken it with her and he told me the tooth fairy had arthritis in her fingers and couldn't open it

I was a LOT older when the penny dropped it wasn't the bloody tooth fairy that had arthritis!

He also convinced me that when I left the room,my toys would run around the room and race back when they heard me coming no matter how quiet I was (and believe me,I tried!)

I was a very gullible child

My mum was told that her pet rabbit (she won it as first prize in a race!) had escaped from the hutch and they never found it. She was about 7.

When she was 28, her big sister told her that their mum had cooked it. Tbf they lived hand to mouth in those post-war years and grew their own veg etc.

DS's friend was told they shut the park when it rains, his mum wasn't very pleased when I accidentally let him know it didn't!

I love that ham story. Genius.

When I grew up it meant you were going to the loo

I was told that Fray Bentos steak pies and walnut whips were not allowed to be eaten by children and were for adults only 🤣

I was told this but apparently the law is different for the play area at the pub, you can go on that even if it’s raining. 😭

we used to drive from East Anglia up to Leeds to see our Yorkshire granny and when evening came my dad would tell me that the little people who lived under the road would light their lamps so we could see the white line in the middle. I always loved that idea:)

My sister used to pretend that she was being sucked down the toilet and my younger brother would be desperately trying to rescue her from the outside if the door she locked .

DH told our kids finders crispy pancakes are age restricted when they caught us eating them. I normally go with “nah you won’t like it it’s spicey” but now they have started eating spicy food it won’t work.

Only if your Northern can you probably appreciate this. When I was a kid my friends always used to say how great Blackpool Pleasure Beach was, I was desperate to go, they took us to Lytham St Anne's which has a beach and windmill and many years ago nothing else. I could not understand what the fuss was about.
In high school there was a trip to the Pleasure Beach, OMG teenagers dream.
Parents were very tight fisted!

My father rides a motorbike

When I was a kid,he would stare at the speedometer,wave his hand in front of it and tell us he was hypnotising it to slow down

He also told us the ice cream van had ran out when music played

He's also a vegetarian,my mother isnt and we had full choice on if we wanted to eat meat or not

He told us that sausages where really pigs willies

Didn't put me off for some reason but my brothers where all fully vegetarian by the age of 3

Im still not convinced that the rabbit that died just before christmas and the rabbit that was served up at christmas lunch that year where different animals

My mother swears it wasn't but she lies as easily as breathing and still dont believe her

That shut up was a swear word.

that if you put the internal lights on in a car it’s a illegal and the police will pull you over and arrest you (she still insists this is true)

I was told this too. 🤣

And still to this day I always leave a small amount of crust 😂