Do you do these things for your guests?

[Loyaltotheoil]

Hi there! Just wondering, if you were hosting guests (family or close friends) for a few days, would you do these things?

• Hanging and folding their laundry
• Baking things they requested aside from the 3 meals a day (for example making crepes or baking a cake if they requested it for a snack)
• Buttering their toast, or would you just put everything on the table for them to do?

Thank you!

I wouldn’t do any of those things…

No, he’s two years younger than me. I’m 28 and he’s 26

He asks through his mum, so for example his mum would text me “BIL said he wants pancakes”

What an absolute cock he sounds. Likes to keep you busy does he. Misogynistic twat likely.
Your DH should be giving him a lesson in bloody manners.
Double lesson because you’re pregnant.
Again, twat.

I feel sorry that you’ve had to come to MN to get some answers and support. Sounds like the support at home is severely lacking.

OMG how can he be this pathetic

Just say no next time he asks.

Text her back saying “tell me flour is in the top cupboard and eggs in the fridge. I’m pregnant and off for a nap”

My husband and I used to live at his parents for eight months when we first got married. It was part of the things that were expected from me and it stayed the same when we moved out and they’d come over to stay.

He’s always been rude to me though. His mum would ask me to bring him tea to his room and when I went and knocked he’d loudly swear “For F*CK sake, what?!” “Yeah leave it there”.
he’d never say hi, blank me, call me weird, and make countless snarky and outright mean comments

None of those!

I will do

what does your DH say about his mother expecting his pregnant wife to wait on his brother?

I would offer to put in a load of their laundry or adviser they are free to use the machine

buttering their toast - never thought about it. If I’m firing on a few rounds then sure why not?

I would be mightily pissed off if I was putting a guest up and they requested a home made cake. Wise up! Your staying here you being the damn cake. And wine while your at it

you hit the nail on the head!

Why are you putting up with this shitty little man? Give him a piece of your mind. Blame it on pregnancy hormones when you hold the butter knife to his throat the rancid little turd. And text the Mum that you’re not his slave.

Honestly I’m raging for you. Find some anger at the way you are being disrespected OP.

Why does your MIL ferrying messages for him? That’s ridiculous - and rude on both their parts. And I forget if you said but why is he staying the first place?

No. He's the problem. He thinks you are a lowly servant and your only role is to be a slave and serve his needs.

He can fuck right off with that attitude.

He fell out with his dad and neither want to be in the same house

I think this is right and your MIL has brought up - and enables - a sexist bullying brat.

I can see the dynamics here might be tricky to negotiate but you need to find a way to say no.

So why do you two have to mop up the mess? He’s a grown man who needs to get his own place and learn how to look after himself.

No ...

Honestly it depends how long they are staying for.

Washing. If they are staying for a while I would wash the clothes, hang up and probably fold them so it's easier for them. But if I was a guest I would be offering to help.

Special food. Again depends how long they are staying for if I am traveling from abroad to see my family and there is food that i am craving but I can't get in the country I live in so I would ask if we could have it.

Butter. No people should have to butter their own toast, but also if it's going to sit on the table for a very long time and get cold then the butter is not going to melt the same so it might be nice.

By the sounds of it, your brother in law is spoilt and lazy. He shouldn't be demanding any of these things from you, just ask politely. I think you have more of a brother in law problem than a hosting problem.

No! I live abroad so my guests stay for a while and I consider myself very welcoming. I make or pay for every dinner, I make some lunches or suggest we go out. I NEVER do breakfast. I don't eat breakfast so I just point out where everything is and tell them to help themselves. I also don't drink coffee so have never worked out how to work DH's fancy coffee machine so, if you want coffee, work it out yourself or walk to Starbucks.

I show them where the laundry room is and tell them to help themselves.

I don't bake but probably would provide one cake kind of thing (from a bakery) in the first day or so. From then on, nope.

If he has fallen out with his dad, has he moved in, rather than this being a visit??

No he’s only staying for a bit while it’s still all fresh

I would do my family or close friends washing if they needed clean clothes whilst staying. I'd then hang on line or tumble dry as you can't exactly give back wet washing. And to hand it to them or put on their bed I probably would fold it! But I would tell them it's dry and if they needed it straight away would just give them the laundry basket of their clothes.

Buttering toast no not unless I made a full breakfast. For breakfast I would be expecting them to crack on themselves after day 1 or so

If a guest or even DH told me I had out too much butter on and to scrape some off I'd be shocked at their rudeness !!!! I'd hand them a butter knife and I certainly wouldn't do it myself. That's slave behaviour and taking the piss

Baking requests yes maybe one day only not everyday. If he asks for pancakes just say "oh yes sounds lovely thank you, I'll check I've got all the ingredients for you now and then you can crack on. I'll put the frying pan out and mixer/ingredients on the side."