Do you do these things for your guests?

[Loyaltotheoil]

Hi there! Just wondering, if you were hosting guests (family or close friends) for a few days, would you do these things?

• Hanging and folding their laundry
• Baking things they requested aside from the 3 meals a day (for example making crepes or baking a cake if they requested it for a snack)
• Buttering their toast, or would you just put everything on the table for them to do?

Thank you!

What an awful family. You are not the problem. Even he knows he shouldn’t be treating you like a servant, that’s why he asks his mummy to give you your instructions. Goodness knows what is going on in her mind to think it’s ok.

This is outrageous! Butter his toast?! He’s a grown man!!! And he gets tea delivered to his room and he doesn’t even say thank you?! You need to stop pandering to him and your MIL and stand up for yourself, you’re pregnant they should be telling you to put your feet up and making you tea. “He wants pancakes” how ridiculous! Your MIL can make him pancakes if she thinks it’s so important he gets everything he wants. Free yourself from this OP!

Nope. Your DH needs to set out some house rules very clearly as it doesn't sound like BIL is the sort of man who listens to a woman. You're doing him a massive favour letting him stay. The very least he can do is take care of himself. He should actually be stepping up and asking how he can help you.

What did you text back? I would say "he knows where the kitchen is" or similar

Text back saying 'He knows where the kitchen is' 😊

He has argued with hid dad, you are being good enough to house him (at no cost?) and this is how he treats you?

Wow!

There really should be a website where women can be warned about men like this!

#GreatMinds 😂

How long are they staying? Sounds like you’re running a hotel! If I had overnight guests I would offer a breakfast and make it.

here BIL, make yourself at home, kitchen is that way. You can make me a few as well, considering I'm heavily pregnant.

My husband and I used to live at his parents for eight months when we first got married. It was part of the things that were expected from me and it stayed the same when we moved out and they’d come over to stay.

Is this cultural?

I can't think of anyone who would let their wife/dil be treated like this.

Is this a cultural thing?

What is he like with other women? Is he generally a man child?

Just read this update. You’ve got yourself a new child in him. Get him out!

Why would he move out when he’s got ask a slave in you. He’s a lazy sexist rude man. I’m amazed you even took him in, and I’m very surprised neither you nor your husband has shown him the door.

Just text back, ‘Haha, Bob isn’t that pathetic. He is a grown adult and perfectly capable of making his own pancakes/buttering his own toast/washing and ironing his own laundry. Ask him if he can make me a few pancakes while he’s doing his’.

Sounds like a redacted list, OP. Someone like this surely expects you to wipe his arse for him too?

My goodness, you need to stand up for yourself!

The ironing board is in the cupboard David
Flour in the cupboard and pan in the drawer David
help yourself to toast David, butter is in the fridge.

stop this bloody nonsense!!!!

Absolutely not. Having guests is enough hard work already. I love it when they go and I get my own space back.

Tell your Bil that you can show him how to butter his toast, make pancakes and do laundry but you won't do it for him since he's not a child. Time to make clear boundaries @Loyaltotheoil . And next time Mil texts just answer: 🤣

Put his wash on with something bright red and leaky, or a cup of bleach.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

So why aren't you replying ... Bil is welcome to make pancakes, we just generally behave toast but he is welcome to use the kitchen. Him making us pancakes will be a nice change for me

Then your BIL is a tool. Am guessing there may be a cultural aspect to this, though? Is he from an ME/asian country? It’s the type of thing I think my late grandfather or great uncles might have expected in the 80s - they were Iranian and had different cultural expectations of women relatives/hosts.

I am shocked your in laws treat you this way. Are they from a different culture? Do they expect daughter/ sister in laws to be subservient?

Just popping on here to say what the hell! Kick him out. Don't let him treat you so poorly!
What a horrible man.

@murasaki it makes me worry for any woman who falls for his charms
Sounds like he is very sly and potentially very controlling too.