Do you do these things for your guests?

[Loyaltotheoil]

Hi there! Just wondering, if you were hosting guests (family or close friends) for a few days, would you do these things?

• Hanging and folding their laundry
• Baking things they requested aside from the 3 meals a day (for example making crepes or baking a cake if they requested it for a snack)
• Buttering their toast, or would you just put everything on the table for them to do?

Thank you!

Exactly, assuming it's your DH's brother, he can deal with it. His options include all the tasks listed above, telling his brother to shut up, and/or not having him to stay. You shouldn't be dealing with this lazy wastrel.

Well, never have him to stay again. He seems to have mistaken you for a 5* hotel.

If your BIL your DH brother? Either he should be telling him bluntly do stop being a dick and doing it himself, or if DH feels it should be done for his brother as a guest, he can choose to pamper his brother himself. You shouldn’t be doing any of it, especially heavily pregnant

No, he's just found someone he thinks he can bullying and he's enjoying it. Don't be that person.

Make it clear he won’t be staying again. You’re nobody’s servant. It’s your DH’s problem, you won’t be facilitating it ever again. DH should also be having a serious conversation with this arsehole in full support of you.

Abusive bullies are very good at putting on an act in public then being arseholes in private

Only if they are toddlers

Butter his toast???

Is BIL the King? I understand Chucky III doesn’t know how to squeeze his own toothpaste, and this seems a similar level of ridiculousness

Yes I'd do it if guests were out being tourists or whatever, so I haven't got wet laundry piling up in my house. But if they're just on the sofa watching telly and watching me work for them .... they can do it themselves.

You are pregnant and tired. Your husband needs to nip this in the bud now. He's not looking good for the post birth and child rearing years if he leaves everything to you, is he. He needs to raise his game immediately.

When you say ‘expects me to . . .’ how does he make that apparent? Does he directly ask, or make snide comments: ‘you could’ve at least done this’ etc?

He is extremely nice to everyone else, very shy and introverted. With me he’s the complete opposite,

There has got to be more context here. Why would he demand things from you? Why would you do them?

Assuming it's your DHs brother, why is he there when your husband is away at work?

In any case the best way to deal cheeky beggers is to laugh at them. He makes a rediculous request or demand. Laugh at him. It's all a fabulous joke, he can't possibly be so self important. Then tell him to stick the kettle on and pop out to the coop for a pack of biscuits for you.

If they were staying a while I might offer to do a load of laundry for them. Butter toast - lol. Is it a young relative away from home for the first time?

God no! It's him, not you.

Please stop doing stuff for him. You could laugh it off and say you are not his mum. How do you think he would react?

Did you tell your husband about the toast buttering demand?

Unless they are a small child they can butter their own toast. No, to making a cake. They would be offered what I was cooking for the family. I'd offer to let them throw washing into machine and dryer. They would be folding it up themselves. After saying this I've just recalled my Mum used to sometimes bake my favourite cup cakes and DH favourite apple pie when she knew we were coming.

Let me guess, your husband's mother babied her sons and husband and was a domestic slave, and they expect you to be the same. Time for a reset.

Lol. Weirdly I do butter my v close friends toast who stay. Toast? Yes pls, what do you want on it? Just butter. So I do it. It’s just me, they don’t expect me to

Well I do all of these things for DF but he is 84 and frail, but I sure as heck wouldn't do it for anyone else I know. Guest or no guest.

He’s nasty to you because he wants attention, at a guess.

If my nephew or my sister were visiting they would get any cake they wanted and buttered toast, and if just a few items of laundry I would do them.
Anyone else would get nothing of that sort.

With his attitude your BIL would get just a short stay here for one hour and no return within next 5 years.

er yes of course I butter toast for the people I’m serving breakfast to. I truly hate being expected to butter cold, dry toast for myself.

laundry & folding - yes, I do it for family guests.

but doing special baking, no. Cooking 3 meals a day? No.

The only one I wouldn’t do is butter their toast (unless it was part of a full English breakfast, or scrambled eggs on toast etc. If breakfast was toast and spreads, I would put the butter out with the other spreads and serve the toast in toast racks, replenishing regularly so everyone gets hot toast.

Some odd folk don’t even like their toast buttered - I’ve never met one, but I’m told they exist.

No one serves toast buttered at breakfast - serve them separately. Show them how to use the washing machine. We’ve rarely had guests want anything washed - they bring enough clothes! Favourite cake? Never been asked for it but I do a shepherds pie for DD2 when she comes home. Her favourite and ours.