DD banned from NYC trip

[Chickenwinger]

Morning

DF (15) has been a pain at school recently I don’t dispute this. Last summer she went to France with the school and had a fallout with some friends. She responded by not following staff instructions:m/ being rude and the teachers had to call me.

there’s NYC trip later this year that she had signed up for. The Headteacher said he’d allow her to still go if she demonstrates positive behaviour between now and then.

last week she attended a day trip- a geography field trip. She had an another argument and basically walked off in the middle of the city as she sas upset. Staff located her promptly and it was clear that she’d been provoked by the other girl.

yesterday I received a call from the deputy head to tell me that her place on the New York trip has been cancelled. Apparently they aren’t confident that she’ll behave and staff aren’t willing to be responsible. They’ve refunded me way I’ve paid so far.

ste’s devastated and has cried all night. I can’t help but feel the school have been heavy handed. DH disagrees and thinks it serves her right!!

do I need to pursue this with the school as a complaint?

Off topic (as I don’t think OP is coming back) How bloody awesome is that?! A school trip to NYC?! My old high school would’ve NEVER!!! I’d have been doing back flips and I’m not the back flipping type.

Not one response from OP in 36 pages.

It appears she has run off...possibly upset by the response that daughter is in the wrong here.

No idea where the daughter learned her behaviour from 🙄

Some HTs are absolutely terrified of parents. That was the problem with ours. There was the additional issue that the LA heavily pushed the "Oh, but the catchment has mass indicators of deprivation!"

Frankly, I found that insulting to the pupils and parents. I had friends and relatives living in the area. Yes, it was deprived. No that doesn't mean that people don't know how to bring up their children.

No idea where the daughter learned her behaviour from 🙄
😅

@WearyAuldWumman I see it as a carrot to promote good behaviour. It’s not unusual to put DC on a wait list to see if behaviour improves. Obviously op doesn’t want to know what anyone thinks. Not 100% sure this was a state school anyway!

Those trips are sooo expensive. When our school did it, I recall that the pupils and teachers involved were expected to fundraise.

To be honest, I wouldn't have allowed it, if given a say in the matter. Instead of buying in cover, the HT used to dump classes on the remaining staff. This meant that middle managers lost their management time - the regulations meant that no one could go below the minimum for classroom teacher non-contacts, but management time wasn't protected.

You make good points.

Furthest I went was Chester Zoo.
Many times.
I think the animals knew us.

🤣🤣🤣

Yep... it's been a saying for a long time... one I grew up with (I'm in my 50s)

Way before FAFO... but it pretty much means the same thing

Back the school and do all you can to correct the behaviour …life is full of provocations…this is not the way ….to a successful life

Yup.

a hard lesson for her to learn. But nonetheless one completely of her own making. She is finding out that she needs to get a grip on herself and her emotions.
Walking off whilst in NYC could be very dangerous and if she is so cavalier about placing herself in danger she isn’t safe to be on the trip.

You should be thanking the staff.
Your husband is mean saying it serves her right, but if she can’t learn the easy way, well she’ll just have to learn the hard way.

My DDs went to NY on a school trip. Art. But they were well behaved.

She fucked around. She found out. It's a hard lesson to learn, but please don't try to undermine the school's perfectly reasonable decision here. They have a responsibility to safeguard all the children on the trip - they can't risk losing staff members to go looking for her if she flounces off. This is an entirely predictable, natural consequence of her actions and she will hopefully learn from it.

Her fault. She deserves to miss out and learn actions have a consequence.

Teacher here. It is a massive responsibility taking pupils on trips. You have to know that they will behave. If not, then they should not be allowed to go.

She’d be putting everyone at risk if she ran off. A member of staff would need to follow her, leaving other staff with too many students.

You can't be serious 😂

OK, maybe get her assessed, but in the meantime she shouldn’t be going on a 'regular' school trip to NY.

To be honest, I’m not sure why we’re still discussing this as OP seems to have gone AWOL, like her daughter…..

Odd post. Are you trying to make the OP feel worse?

Tbh in your shoes, given her actions I would have pulled the trip myself. It's not even about punishing her - the last place I would want my child to pull a storming off stunt like that, would be in the USA. She's learned the hard way I'm afraid.

No you dont need to complain to yhe school

Actions have consequences & she doesn't seem to have learned that lesson from previous experiences

Imagine if she went & acted like that in NY?
She'd be lost, the staff would be unlikely to find her & shed be ruining the trip for everyone. You'd be frantic & blame the staff & school for her disappearing off alone.
And if something happened to her when she'd gone off alone .....

I wouldn't take her, shes a liability.

A flouncer, like her daughter. Why should other pupils be put out because of your badly behaved daughter.

By being annoyed and trying to get your daughter to go on the trip, you are enabling her.

So what happens if she has a disagreement in the airport and runs off, no one can find her and people miss the flight?! Or she disappears in one of the busiest cities in the world! It would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Serves her right.