I'm going to visit my son. It's going to cost a fortune..

[Beakthrough]

He's in Uk at the opposite end to me.

He can't put me up so I need to pay travel and accomodation, plus I won't be able to cook for him (or vice versa) so I'll likely end up paying for several restaurant meals too.

I reckon, by the time I'm done it will cost me close to £1000 for the six days planned.

Nearly £200 in travel, £400 for the cheapest accomodation I can find, plus 5 or 6 dinners and ither spending money.

I have the money, I'd spend it on other trips without thinking too hard, but I'm struggling to justify it to myself for this one, which makes no sense to me. Can anyone else work out what's going on with my head?

Hopefully, eventually he'll have somewhere he can accomodate visitors but for the time being he can't.

Why can’t he visit you?

Save on travel and restaurants.

It is rather odd. You can afford it, and this is your son. Why is he such a low priority for you that you’re begrudging spending the money?

Practically speaking, as an aside, can’t you get an Airbnb or similar and cook meals
there?

Hell or high water wouldn’t stop me seeing my sons. Is there a reason you live so far apart

He can and he does, but he works more than I do so it's easier for me to fit in a visit.

A woman 🤣

Assuming his accommodation has a floor, it'd be cheaper to buy an inflatable mattress or folding camp bed.

Air b n b is your friend often much cheaper and space to cook.

It really isn't that he low priority, that's what's bothering me. I'm dying to go, but now I'm starting to look at the practicalities maybe I'm nervous for some reason. I think maybe I'm also thinking how often is this going to be possible!

To be fair, I think your reply is rather odd too!
Unless you know the op, you have no idea of their family dynamics and what has gone historically before?

I've looked at Airbnb, there's nothing less than £700 in the area.

Assuming he feeds himself, surely he can cook for you at least some of the meals?

Or is there a massive drip feed coming that you don’t get on with ‘the woman’ and won’t go to their house?

Strange post. My DC lives over 200 miles from us as I did with my parents.

Wow I can't imagine spending that on a holiday without hesitation but then begrudgingly spend it to visit my child. It would be the trip I'd be most looking forward to.

Depends how much you want to see your son vs.wanting to see other places? But Id be very upset if my Mum had had that attitude about seeing me.

He's sharing a room in a shared house with his GF. I don't think MN would approve of me crashing there, and they're not allowed guests anyway.

Not keen?

I'm very happy to see the woman, but they share a house with 8 other people.

No she's lovely and I'm very happy for them, their living arrangements mean I can't stay there.

Can he not try a bit harder to save you a thousand pounds?

Airbnb is expensive. Look at other sites such as Booking.com and Vrbo.

Yes, I've spent all afternoon trawling them all. Even a bunk is a shared room at YHA isn't any cheaper.

I wonder if it feels uncomfortable in your mind because whereas you’d easily spend this amount on a holiday where you’re getting treat and adventure, in your mind you imagine visiting your son should be easily and simple?

What position in life is your son? It seems to be you doing all of the paying. Is he at university perhaps? In which case spend what it costs and write it off in your mind for this trip. Or is he working? In which case I’d expect him to pay for some meals! Doesn’t he have a kitchen where he could at least knock together a simple pasta dinner?

A shared room in a hostel isn’t any cheaper than £700?! Where the hell does he live?

If you can afford it why do you grudge spending money visiting your DS? It will still be a break away for you. Nothing would stop me visiting one of my DC. You should be glad you are invited. There was a post on MN a couple of days ago where a Mum didn't even get to have a coffee with her DC as her DC just wasn't interested in spending time with Mum.

How much leave do most people get? He was here at Christmas, he came for his DGM's birthday, but it's a long way to come just for his day off (and it costs him a lot too) and it would be unreasonable to think he should use all his AL to visit me.