I'm going to visit my son. It's going to cost a fortune..

[Beakthrough]

He's in Uk at the opposite end to me.

He can't put me up so I need to pay travel and accomodation, plus I won't be able to cook for him (or vice versa) so I'll likely end up paying for several restaurant meals too.

I reckon, by the time I'm done it will cost me close to £1000 for the six days planned.

Nearly £200 in travel, £400 for the cheapest accomodation I can find, plus 5 or 6 dinners and ither spending money.

I have the money, I'd spend it on other trips without thinking too hard, but I'm struggling to justify it to myself for this one, which makes no sense to me. Can anyone else work out what's going on with my head?

Hopefully, eventually he'll have somewhere he can accomodate visitors but for the time being he can't.

If he is between homes can you wait until he moves into his new place and then he can put you up?

You do realise many parts of the UK don't have a train service at 6am or at all on a Sunday, don't you?

No other not that at all, but it is going to be odd visiting him but having nowhere to stay.

Because travel takes 2 days.

Lots of places do though, so it's not an outrageous suggestion.

The sad truth of modern life is moving away means you have a different kind of closeness with your family. I lived all over the UK for 20 years - I used to visit my parents a lot because they had a base in London, and they would come and see me too but only 2 or 3 times a year. Cost was a factor for sure. Decided to move back to near home when I had a baby and now see so much of them it drives me potty!

Is it a touristy place would a friend go with you then it might not feel so weird, i still think 6 days is to long.

OP - you seem reluctant to say where it is, apart from in the mountains. If you could at least give the name of a town or village within say 10 miles, perhaps people with local knowledge might have a better idea of where you could stay that is not too expensive and if you can't then travel to your son because you haven't driven there, he could perhaps drive to see you.

What is the weather like where he lives in the summer? Would a camping trip in the summer save you any money (if you have or could borrow a tent etc.)

Totally understand that.

Are there any B&B's about?

Not outrageous, but OP has said travel takes 8 hours - yet people are still telling her to just leave earlier and that there's "no way it can take all day, just a morning".

Some people on here really do live in a massively privileged bubble.

Why do you need to go for so long? I love my adult kids to death but 48 hours is enough for them to visit me, or me to visit them. What on earth are you going to talk about by the fourth day? And why do you assume that you have to pay for so all the meals out? He presumably doesn't live in a tent under a bridge, so even if he doesn't have a spare room you can use, he at least has access to a kitchen? And a sofa where you can sit and share a takeaway or a simple meal?

I understand where you are coming from OP but he is your son. Maybe go for fewer nights based around his days off work.
i get it as for the last 3 years our DS has lived and worked in a European city. He visits us as Xmas and usually for a week in Summer whilst we visit him 3-4 times a year generally for his birthday and other major events. That said each visit costs us a small fortune! Airfares for 2, hotel/airbnb, meals out. The last couple of times we have stayed for just one or two nights and at a town adjacent to the v expensive city he lives. Even then each trip costs us£1200-1500.

We love seeing our son and being involved in part of his life but do notice the cost and moan about it (never to him!) every time.

Have you actually read the thread?

She's visiting for so long because it's a days' travel each way.
She can't cook at his house or sit on the sofa with a takeaway because he can't have guests and lives in a shared house with 8+ other people.

Do you have a friend/group of friends who might fancy a mountain break? You could share self-catering accommodation and do fun things in the day while your son is at work. Plus it is safer for you to go on mountain hikes/strolls with a group in case of accident.

I get it OP - it's hard when your family live so far away.

What's that then - Scilly Isles to Shetland?

If your son is somewhere rural, I'm thinking Scotland or Wales, can you think of it more like a holiday? Book in a nice holiday home, where your son and partner can come and hang out with you? Cook some nice meals together, it would be a nice break for them too.

I understand - visiting family for christmas always costs us at least £800 (trsvel plus airbnb). Maybe its because there isn’t really a “budget “ for family visits for many people? Its not a holiday, its not a treat, its kind of a super expensive necessity snd as such feels weird.

Why cant he cook for you?

She means two days total, so one day there, one day back.

And there are lots of areas in the UK that are that far apart. I grew up in Suffolk and now live in Cumbria. If I wanted to get home by train, it would take me 12 hours.

Because he lives in a shared house and can't have visitors.

I have a similar issue with DS. And he can't really afford to come down here that often, given travel costs and time off work. So I pay his travel costs down here sometimes.

If I do go I don't stay for a whole week - his city is far too expensive.

I think given that he was home at Christmas, I would have waited until the weather was better. My son is at Uni and after going back at Christmas won't be back until mid Feb. Some of his friends won't see their families until Easter. Treat this as though he is away at Uni. If you have to entertain yourself while he works, that will be much nicer in the spring.

Also I get what you are saying about it being a days travel each way but 4 nights rather than 6 would still work. I like doing city breaks and usually do 4 nights. It definitely seems worth it even with flights/driving/hanging about.

You may already be doing this but look for cheap advance train tickets. Sometimes split ticketing can result in a saving too or looking at different routes.

You are right, OP - it is a lot of money. (And it is so expensive/less good value travelling solo.) But as you say, in future he will have more space and be able to cater for you, at least.

Look on it as a proper holiday and make the most of it. Get your moneys worth! But perhaps next year book your trip when it's a bit warmer so that you really feel that you've had a holiday.

And take a flask. You are going to spend a lot on hot drinks during the days, otherwise.

Have a wonderful time.

I know what you mean OP. I have to trave almost 300 miles and do hotels to see my daughter and her family at the moment as a mattress on the floor isn't good at present with a young baby. I do for a long weekend as hotels, even cheap chains, are crazy expensive in her area on weeknights. I drive because trains are unaffordable. Won't be like this forever in my case so I hope it won't for you either.