Niche Mumsnet things

[manicpixieschemegirl]

I don’t mean commando crawling behind the sofa when the door bell rings or one chicken seeing an entire family through the winter. Slightly more obscure things you see crop up quite often that you’ve never heard anyone say or do in real life. I’ll go first -

OP looking for a miracle product or cut for their frizzy, untameable hair but point blank refusing to blow dry or style it in any way shape or form.

People falling over themselves to call an OP unreasonable for being miffed that the guy she’s dating hasn’t been in contact for a few days. Apparently a text exchange every 3-5 business days is more than enough and OP is clearly needy and deeply insecure.

Obviously not all of them are awful but every time someone asks for dress suggestions, the first comment is almost always “have you thought about a jumpsuit?”. If I’m out for a meal and drinks, or at a wedding or whatever then I pee quite a lot tbh and I never want the hassle of having to strip off to go the toilet.

or "failure to launch"

The disbelief that a woman could be a very high earner. I’ve been accused outright of lying, and told if I really earned what I claimed to be earning, I’d be living far too fabulous a life to be posting on mumsnet. Ehh, no, sweetheart. I have to work to earn that money, meaning I will be posting during my lunch or coffee break, or at odd hours if I’m on call and have been woken up etc. If I was an heiress or had passive income, then I’d be living too fabulous a life to bother with mumsnet.

'Hang on a minute, OP, are you actually saying you ONLY do 10,000 steps a day? 10,000 is supposed to be the MINIMUM!'

😂i know. It's ridiculous. And very unhealthy too. You get the impression it's a load of bitter , twisted people who can't bear it if other prople actually love their family members and get on. " ooh, my sister was round our parents house for two minutes more than me last Tuesday week". " oh my god , oh you've got to go no contact. This just can't be tolerated".

Not drinking alcohol throughout you dcs childhood until they’re 18 in case you need to drive them to A&E

Going no contact with family members without trying to have a conversation and clear the air.

People who won’t eat home cooked produce brought into work by a known colleague but will happily tuck into “street food” from random vendors in countries with primitive sanitation.

Having done this and then having to have him removed for our safety I whole heartedly say sell your body before taking in a lodger. I would rather stay broke.

This reminds me of another one, poster will ask advice about a new relationship and their DC and everyone will pile on stating they will never date anyone until their DC are 18/fully grown adults who have moved out and have a family of their own!

@Anyusernamewilldo8963oh god yes, how dare you date, you must think about your dcs 100% of the time and just give up and sense of self

😂

@sammylady37I get it 😂 OR that our combined income means that I’m eating gold and shitting rainbows. Not taking into context I have to work my nuts off a live in London.

Or the inevitable pile-on to Emma for not being considerate to her friends budget especially when she knows I'm struggling.

I will add that everyone appears to have highly stressful, busy/demanding jobs. I'd love to know exactly what these jobs are!

Off topic but I’m in the same boat. Top is 1-2 sizes smaller than bottom. Nobody seems to make their clothes for pear shapes. First world problems but I’m sick of trousers I have to tie up at the waste or always having a wear a belt and so many nice looking things being unwearable for me.

Every dog is walked 3 times a day for eat least 2 hours at a time and if you can’t commit to 6 hours a day walking your dog you shouldn’t have one. Nobody takes the dog for a quick 20 minutes round the block because they need to get to work

Emetophobia.

What a load of fucking self-pitying, main character bollocks.

Really would hate to be your gastroentrologist ;)

Yes, because everyone else loves being sick/watching other people be sick/clearing up vomit.

💯 I find MN’s typical ‘nobody owes anybody anything’ quite depressing - your parents don’t owe you anything past the mature age of 18, your adult kids don’t owe you anything etc. How can you not owe things to each other when you are a family? You belong to each other to some extent, isn’t that what family is about? (I’m not talking about obviously dysfunctional families here). It seems to be the normal response to chastise a daughter who is sad that her parents wouldn’t babysit for more than once a year, or a parent who would love to have more than one 10-minute call once a month. There’s a big difference between being entitled and being sad that your family aren’t there for you.

The same dogs that have perfect recall, naturally.

@IslavadaukraniCant afford private and it’s ten years to see one on the NHS 😂

@DoubleShotEspressox well maybe if you had married better you could be married to one now and not need to wait on the nhs lol

My mum used to make a ham salad for tea. It was ham, cheddar cheese, boiled egg, fries and some lettuce and cucumber on the side 😃