Niche Mumsnet things

[manicpixieschemegirl]

I don’t mean commando crawling behind the sofa when the door bell rings or one chicken seeing an entire family through the winter. Slightly more obscure things you see crop up quite often that you’ve never heard anyone say or do in real life. I’ll go first -

OP looking for a miracle product or cut for their frizzy, untameable hair but point blank refusing to blow dry or style it in any way shape or form.

People falling over themselves to call an OP unreasonable for being miffed that the guy she’s dating hasn’t been in contact for a few days. Apparently a text exchange every 3-5 business days is more than enough and OP is clearly needy and deeply insecure.

Also, screaming. Nobody ever simply raises their voice at a Mumsnetter, they always scream. Shop assistants scream at them in the supermarket, Baristas scream at them in the coffee shop, other drivers scream at them in the car park... Bonus points if they're left "crying and shaking" by the interaction.

This Mumsnet thread has made/ruined Mumsnet for me over the last few days! 😂 😂

😆

Posters whose inner workhouse matron comes out at the mere mention of a dog. 'So you'd rather miss your third cousin twice-removed's beach wedding in Antigua than put your elderly, blind rescue dog in a cripplingly expensive kennel for two weeks? Just tie it to a lamp-post and leave a bowl of kibble. Or, better yet, have it put down. Dogs aren't children.'

Dog hatred in general. I don't know anybody offline who hates dogs, and I don't dog hatred on any other part of the internet.

And it's weird how every single dog hater can't go outside without being mowed down by out of control dogs. I live next to a dog park and still have never in my life had a strange dog jump up at me.

I'd say it's strange that anyone who experiences a dog jumping up at them (i walk to school across a park and walk in the woods and this happens a lot) and doesn't particularly enjoy it is described as a "dog hater".
I grew up with several dogs and loved them.

My young child was bitten by a family dog and he's really trying to build up confidence yet around every few months a dog jumps up at him and he's set back again.
It's bizarre for anyone to think that this doesn't happen or that it only happens to people deemed "dog haters". We have a neighbourhood dog walkers' group and events involving out-of-control dogs are described on there by dog-lovers.

I'd say it's strange that anyone who experiences a dog jumping up at them (i walk to school across a park and walk in the woods and this happens a lot) and doesn't particularly enjoy it is described as a "dog hater".

Good job I didn't say that then.

Reading comprehension here is dire but sadly that isn't just a Mumsnet thing.

Adult children seems to be something on here where there is no middle ground. They either stay at home until they 65, rent free never taking any responsibility for anything or they move out at 18 without a backwards glance where parents only see them twice a year, even if they live on the same street.

Two recent threads that came to mind is one where the OPs son had moved to a town 30 minutes down the road and the OP was complaining she only saw him four times a year (or something like that) and she was told this was "normal" and that he would be living his life and she should just be grateful to see hum.

Another one where the OPs daughter was visiting from New Zealand and the OP had only seen her once. Again it was implied that the OP was being unreasonable when the OP said she was upset by how little she'd seen her.

MILs also seem to be something on here that differs from real life. On here, everyone seems to fall out with theirs or go no contact for the most minor of issues such as MIL wanting to hold their own grandchild when they've been born. It also seems to be all contact and visits with the in-laws should be done by the husband only, even if you've been married for 40 years and get on well. Similarly again even if you've been married for decades and get on well with your in-laws, you shouldn't provide any support or help to them if they are elderly. This should be done by your husband only.

In real life, most people (myself included) view our in-laws as family, recognising the importance of good relationships and grandparents for our children and most of us all get on well. I'll text snd visit mine without my husband, my mum took me to see my dad's mum without my dad present and did a lot for my dad's mum towards the end of her life.

One person even complained when their
MIL came over she just wanted to be "hosted" and see the grandchildren. Isn't that the point of having people come to your house, family or not? I can't say I've ever been annoyed because my in-laws came over and didn't start immediately doing the dishes, hoovering and laundry.

On a similar note too, this banning of visitors when you have a newborn so that you can get time to "get to know your family of four". If anything, I found having an extra pair of hands helped to make things easier with a 3 year old and newborn! Or moaning that when you have visitors that they want to hold your baby or don't come round with a weeks worth of meals or offer to deep clean your entire house.

I also find the UPF obsession mad here too, people getting hysterical about supermarket bread and stock cubes and cries of "lazy parenting" if you dare feed your child chicken nuggets once or twice a week.

In real life, most people and myself make good effort to feed our families healthy homecooked food but use fish fingers, baked beans once or twice a week, let them have the odd chocolate biscuit and give our babies the odd pouch without the worry we're condemning them to a life time of obesity and ill health. It's all about balance yet so many people on here seem to have this all or nothing approach to it, spending hours and whole days each week despite working full time, boiling up homemade stock or cooking nountains of flatbreads.

Also it links to the whole friendship issue too. It's well documented the impact of loneliness and lack of social connections has on health such as its the health equivalent of smoking 10 cigarettes a day and even in particular how it can increase the likelihood of dementia. Yet there never seems to be the same concern for that on here. In fact quite the opposite, people boasting how they hate play dates, hate making friends with school mums, at baby groups etc and see absolutely no need to socialise outwith their own tiny family unit, weekends are family time only and kids aren't allowed to play outside.

People seem to buy into this notion that kids don't need socialising before the age of 3 and only need their parents. Yes they don't have the socialisation skills and their relationship with their care giver is the most important part, but they still need to learn to be alongside other kids, how to play and to be in social settings. They don't suddenly wake up at 3 with these skills. And even before 3, my eldest loved being with other kids, he definitely interacted with many of them, would speak and ask to see his friends and you could tell by how happy he was with them how it benefited him. Its an absolutey crucial part of their development.

I bet half these people are the same ones getting hysterical about UPF foods yet absolutely no concern whatsoever about the impact of anything else.

I see the opposite on here as well. Putting your child in nursery is somehow seen as akin to child abuse and working at mums are somehow neglecting their children, could afford to stay at home if they just gave up handbags and shoes and unless you want to spend 24/7 with your child you're asked "why bother having them". Virtually every mum I know has to work (and also wants to) because we have such trivial things like mortgages and bills that need paid.

In every thread, on the first page about nursery, someone will inevitably mention about getting a childminder or nanny without realising a nanny is unaffordable for the vast majority of the population and getting a childminder with availability and flexibility is sometimes an impossible act.

People who are terrified to eat anything home cooked by someone else.

People who insist any food between meals is asking for the downfall of civilisation and who insist the French never snack.

People who shoehorn trans issues into any conversation, no matter how unrelated or banal:
It's going to be nice out this week.
Sorry, but the forecaster who predicted that is third cousins with so and so who defended her neighbour's trans nephew.

People who have long running and endlessly amusing sagas of disputes with neighbours. I don't know many people who have had disputes with neighbours, but the ones I have heard about have been anything but entertaining.

You left out popping, my personal gripe. Everyone is always popping something. I the oven, on the hob, in the microwave, slow cooker, air fryer. Way too much popping.

Ooh yes, I was going to mention this. A poster describes their unfeasibly time-consuming and expensive kids’ lunchbox idea and finishes with, “And then just pop in the oven before school to re-heat for 45 minutes” Hrrrrmmph.

This thread has made me smile a lot ,yet so much is true eg people hating their MIL. What have MIL's done to have so much hatred ,there has to be some relatives that all get on well together.

And equally I didn't say you did say that. It was a general point. Reading comprehension, etc.

Thinking the phrase "gives me the ick" is normal.

It isn't IRL.

Sure Jan.