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Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

428 replies

PersephoneParlormaid · 09/01/2026 06:55

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

OP posts:
Womaninhouse17 · 11/01/2026 21:43

Having my hair cut really short and choppy. It dries in minutes and needs very little attention. I also try not to buy something unless I really need it or desperately want it. We all have too much stuff!

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 11/01/2026 21:45

I gave up watching the news in lockdown, it was just too depressing seeing all the number of deaths every day. I now only watch the local news and the fluffy pieces on ITV news at 6.30pm usually so i can also watch the weather followed by Emmerdale I rarely read a newspaper, I do have the Telegraph app but only read the sport.

I also got myself a bike, it makes me so happy to put some music on and go for a bike ride, I go to one of my favourite spots where I can see my town from the top of a hill, listen to wildlife and be in nature. I drive there too but cycling just gives me time to clear my head.

Bayou2000 · 11/01/2026 22:04

Ditched my partner of 20 plus years. Every single aspect of my life improved.

ScrollingLeaves · 11/01/2026 22:15

This is such a nice thread, thank you.

mbonfield · 11/01/2026 22:23

My advice would be to not be quick to judge and see the wider picture as I have watched so many fail.
Also count to 10 before making a reply to difficult question and see the other side of the coin.

YourDearDreamer · 11/01/2026 22:42

Lost295 · 09/01/2026 08:27

Got two new decent robot hoovers so I have clean floors everyday upstairs and down without having to think about it (and without stressing the animals as they’re much quieter than a normal vacuum). We had old ones, but they were crap and I can’t believe the difference in technology a few years later. So much better.

Decluttered (or rather, am decluttering) including the loft and garage

Purposefully kept most weekends in Nov and Dec free to avoid the normally manic run up to Christmas. Also took two weeks off so I could actually rest and enjoy it.

Had a choice between two jobs. Chose the one where the work might be less my cup of tea, but the team is much, much more supportive.

Turned off notifications for lots of apps, including MN

After years of trying, finally started to accept the idea I’m limited on what I can do to improve DS’s choices and resultant life outcomes and have realised he needs to find his own way/make his own mistakes.

Great thread, OP … it’s one of the things I’ve committed to in 2026 so will keep checking in for other ideas.

Hii is it possible if you could please share which robot vacuum you have. I was supposed to get one when the black friday sales started but there was soo much choice and all the fancy words. I was just so overwhelmed with it all. If you could share the one you have it would be a great help. Cream tiles and cream grout isn't the one. X

Thedownwardspiralpath · 11/01/2026 22:44

Rebaxis · 10/01/2026 07:14

What are you watching from the 80s?
I was a kid in the 80s and would like to watch tv shows from that time, but can't think of any.
When my mum used to watch tv in the evenings, I'd be drawing or playing, and I remember the tv shows were all gentle, slower paced, quiet, just people acting and talking.
Nowadays all I can find online tv is fast paced, loud, noisy, shouting, shrieking, flashing, bright shows that send my brain into a frenzy of stress. And even if I do find a series that's only about the acting, the storylines are all so traumatising or disturbing.
I long to watch tv but I can't find anything gentle, calm or simple to watch.

I’m stuck in the house with a really long fibromyalgia flare and stress makes it worse. Over Christmas I watched all 13 series of Poirot and I’m now watching Midsomer Murders. Both on ITV + where there is loads of old options. I recommend paying the £5.99 for no adverts.

coronafiona · 11/01/2026 22:56

Run the dishwasher twice if I need to, to wash pans oven trays etc as well. Be really organised. Keep everything clean and tidy and use my phone for reminders.
but I do still mess up at least four times a week though!

anon666 · 11/01/2026 23:07

Ive got all my household essentials on a carefully timed subscription. They are all eco friendly ethical options, and I tested loads to get the best of each. My loorolls come once every 12 weeks in a huge box from whogivesacrap. No more running out of loo roll. My laundry detergent / conditioner comes on subscription from Tallow and Ash, and now smells gorgeous. Dishwasher tablets and liquid are from smol. Etc etc, even down to a regular peanut butter subscription, sanitary towels/tampons, shampoo. I bulk buy so I get better quality, cheaper, and much less plastic. Everything now runs like clockwork, and all those last minute panics and missions at 11pm at night have gone. I keep a stock of batteries, light bulbs, sellotape, pens etc.

I do my washing in one bulk day, alongside other chores. I then spend the time in between loads listening to podcasts and batch cooking. I clean up as I cook, so no big mess at the end.

I have managed to sort out my finances after years of chaos. All my bills are paid automatically by direct debit, and if I get a bill or fine, I pay it immediately so it's not pending. Tbat applies to any task really - I either sort it immediately or if I cant, I add it to my very short to do list.

I keep a 'secret' reserve bank account of rainy day money, which I dip into occasionally.

All this has allowed me time to pursue my interests, and I took on an allotment. I absolutely love gardening, and it's honestly my little piece of heaven. I've grown cut flowers this year, next year I'm growing for natural skincare recipes and plant dyes.

I have AuDHD, with low or no support needs. This technically means I'm likely to have low executive function. I can be very "absent minded" and my perception of time is way off. I previously spent most of my adult life oscillating between frantic overachievement and burnout, so all these things have helped stabilise and organise my home life so much. I feel like I might have finally cracked it.

I even manage to wash my bedding reasonably frequently, although tbh I don't much notice the difference either way.....

smilingontheinside · 11/01/2026 23:09

First got divorced
Second stopped accepting crap from my kids
Third decided I was important and started looking after myself

anon666 · 11/01/2026 23:10

Forgot to mention, switched off all notifications, muted all threads/chats, deleted social media apps from my phone. I use substack and Spotify podcasts to stay in touch with the world, slowly!

2021x · 11/01/2026 23:14

My current mantra is "Netflix not News" I went away over christmas and didn't look at the news once, and then I got stressed last week over the US stuff- especially the hyperbole after that woman was shot from all political sides. So I have had a word with myself, and we are just going to binge Netflix and not any other social media.

Sundriessundries · 11/01/2026 23:20

Accept that the to do list will never be finished and that’s ok.
So I try not to delay relaxing when everything’s not done.
And more philosophically I’m moving away from viewing life as a to do list!

changeme4this · 11/01/2026 23:22

I take a magnesium tablet with dinner every day. Really helped with the anxiety I developed at menopause.

i then started to take a fish oil tablet at breakfast and a chewable iron tablet. I feel more clear headed and able to stick with routines. Feel a bit more oomph too which helps with tackling jobs I would normally put off (cleaning windows etc).

I’ve also dropped a friendship which was a bit questionable and one where I felt very used within.

TexaSun · 12/01/2026 00:09

Great thread. Watching for more ideas.

MeouwKing · 12/01/2026 00:11

Retire

Poppins17 · 12/01/2026 00:37

What a great thread - thanks OP! I’ve picked up quite a few tips.

Cassan · 12/01/2026 00:42

As god is my judge, this year is the year I will work less. Saying it here to make myself this promise. Solemnly.,

berryberi · 12/01/2026 02:00

Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 10/01/2026 17:54

I married someone who is happy to do all the clothes washing plus most tedious house stuff like taking bins out, unblocking loos, hoovering

I never iron anything, ever

All shopping is online

I only skim read the news

I only make time to see or speak to people I really like and want to speak to

All bills are paid by direct debit

3 chargers for phone & ipad: bedroom, living room, study so I never have to transfer them

Small kettle next to my bed so I have coffee as soon as I wake up

I use Microsoft To Do as well @OttersMayHaveShifted - I love it

I also throw money at problems and do as little boring shit as possible as a result!

I have had a coffee maker on my bedside table for about 6 years. The first one was a timed coffee percolator. I switched to the Nespresso Magimix Vertuo about 3 years ago and it's perfect for making coffee in bed. I can actually put it going while still lying down! At one point of extreme tiredness I considered buying these super long straws so I wouldn't have to sit up until I was caffeinated but it just seemed a step too far!

ilovepixie · 12/01/2026 02:03

violetcuriosity · 09/01/2026 07:42

Not replying to people/emails straight away if I’m not ready to.

I kept some weekends free for more spontaneous activities this December which meant I wasn’t so burnt out when Christmas arrived.

The children choose one extra curricular activity to do now so we only have one evening each a week where we’re out of the house ferrying them around.

We eat early and reset the kitchen/downstairs afterwards, I get straight in the bath/shower after dinner and then chill for the rest of the evening, this has been a complete game changer.

We don’t mind what time the kids go to bed but past 7:30 the expectation is that they are calm and quiet occupying themselves so we all have down time.

Food shop deliveries on Sundays when it’s a working week.

You mean you tidy the kitchen. Hate this reset nonsense

Isthistoomuchoestrogen · 12/01/2026 02:08

Took all the sounds, notifications and alerts (except the ringer) off my phone…even the red dots that tell you you have a new message or whatever. The only way someone can get my attention immediately is by calling. It makes focusing on tasks so much easier.

Thedownwardspiralpath · 12/01/2026 02:13

ilovepixie · 12/01/2026 02:03

You mean you tidy the kitchen. Hate this reset nonsense

It’s not your kitchen 🤷‍♀️🤔

Wooky073 · 12/01/2026 02:32

I have a very harrassing ex who loves to sow chaos (we have a child together who lives with me). Its stressful so I am too trying to find ways to shield myself.
Hobbies, training on interesting subjects, podcasts - I love listening whilst doing cooking or housework. Cooking and trying new recipes. Calm app (or other such apps). Im also trying to clear out the house room by room but it takes time and energy which i am drained of in dealing with the ex so thats hard but bit by bit im getting through it x

FindMyPhone · 12/01/2026 02:34

Great thread, OP!

Im agreeing with:
Saying no to pointless stuff that I used to feel obliged to do. I don’t explain, just say some version of ‘no’ People rarely enquire further.

Refuse to be pushed around or bullied, wether in day to day stuff or at work. I’ve started calling that crap out straightaway rather than let it fester or become the “new norm”

Prioritise my health and well-being. Like others, if I want to sleep, I do. If I feel too poorly for work, I don’t go in. The world hasn’t stop turning, and work would be advertising my job before my funeral (seen this happen several times over the years) so I look after me. They do not.
I look at walking my dog as a bonus not a chore. I always come back feeling better and the dog is always happy so win/win. She has her food then sleeps in front of the fire! If we get caught in the rain, I just shower and put dry clothes on.

Can I mention the joy a laundry service has brought me?
DP works away all week and has quite a lot of washing, involving some mucky oily work gear, bedding, jackets, and all the usual undies, shirts etc x 5/6 days worth.He drops it in the laundry and picks it up 24 hours later, all washed ironed and packed up neatly. It allows us a proper weekend together without a mad dash to get it all done before him leaving again on Sunday evening. Can’t praise it highly enough!
I eat whatever I fancy when Im here on my own. I had Shredded Wheat and hot milk for my “dinner” the other night! It was lovely. No need for set meals when there’s just me.

I clear out my phone regularly, anyone who I have to think ‘who’s that?’ gets removed. The WhatsApp
from work is on mute, as are some people who I can’t remove (yet)

Decluttering is very cathartic. I do it as an ongoing thing.

dogsarebetterthanppl · 12/01/2026 04:11

stopped drinking because i'm on medication and would be radically drunk after 2 vodkas and it just depressed me

started getting my legs waxed as i have chronic illnesses and shaving them was hell

makeup every day if i look good i feel good

quality over quantity of people in my life

cutting off anyone that doesn't bring peace and enrichment and genuine bonds

go out every day even if it's only to my grandparents's house in pjs

started to go to church every week no matter what (not a conventional church)

being around animals as much as possible

avoid news as much as humanly possible

meditation, prayer and gratitude

listening to music/healing frequencies/spiritual podcasts instead of tv

buy things that will make me happy but i'm trying to stop my (real and diagnosed) shopping addiction so learning to find a happy medium

compliment at least one old person every day (it's amazing how much it brightens them🥰)