Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

[PersephoneParlormaid]

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

Is that the Mel Robbins book? I started it but got bored after the first few pages.

No social media
Meal planning
Audible for my commute

Need to unsubscribe my emails too. Keep meaning to but now feel more motivated.

Don’t do it all at once. Just do 3/5/10 a day. Makes a huge difference.

Bed needed replacing for years so bought a premier inn direct bed , new pillows and duvet and it has made such a difference to my quality of sleep , should have done it years ago .

It's quite a useful mantra, but it really didn’t merit a whole book. It could easily be explained sufficiently in one paragraph tbh.

He is clearly a keeper!

We need to know what you are watching @Nitgel and on what platform/s ...

I do this too!

I am about to re-watch THE PAPER CHASE set in Harvard Law School in the 80s.

Did you watch this?

I loved this show as a teenager!

#WhatAreYouWatching

Walk every day for at least 20 minutes.
Use the Calm app daily.

Well he’s annoying in other ways but I won’t go there ! He does however i think have good taste ( a bit highbrow for some I know) on TV/film- at the moment hes sat watching the restored version of Smiley's people and when that’s finished we are catching up on season 3 of the Swedish version of wallander. We used to live in Copenhagen so went to that southern Sweden area a lot so enjoy recognising places. He doesn’t watch any ‘current’ mainstream stuff to be honest ,

About a decade ago I had to go to a psychologist who told me that due to issues in my childhood I was to take the phrase from another poster ‘selfless to the point of martyrdom’. I have a yoga teacher who told me that people need 50% work and 50% rest.we all really need a lot more rest than we get, stress and modern life accounts for a lot of diseases.

So these are the things that I do which I found a very helpful. We both work full-time and have a four year-old.

we have a Cleaner once a fortnight, we have a Gardener, I buy Cook frozen dinners and we have these a couple of times a week. I have an app called insight timer and I do 20 minutes of these meditations a day. My son goes to before & after school clubs so that we have plenty of time to get our work done. Once a fortnight, I send five loads of washing to launderette.

when someone asks me if you want to make plans, and I don’t want to, I don’t make up an excuse. I just say sorry I can’t do that weekend.

I ignore non-urgent WhatsApp messages until I have headspace to respond to them.
Once a week I do an hour of admin on my phone (bills,replies,arrangements) and just ignore it all until then.
I do weekly basic food deliveries.

if someone buys me a gift that is ‘doing something’ that I don’t want to do, I just don’t do it. I used to receive things like this a lot, and then spend hours of my time doing said gift to please the giver.if I don’t want to go to a play, or make my own bird feeder, just because you bought me it, I don’t have to do it.

I try not to have opinions on things that don’t matter to me. I used to get angry and feel like I had to weigh in on everything, but now I let it wash over me. Saves a lot of energy.

Sorry, this post is v long but it has been a decade long process!

I cut out people who take the mick, or the ones who use.. you know the type, one way relationships, the ones who take take take. Or the ones who only talk about themselves, normally moaning. Constant moaning and then carry on making the same mistakes again and again and moan about the result being the same.

Life is deffo calmer, quieter and well, nicer without that negativity.

I agree.

Got a cleaner every other week for a couple of hours. It means we just keep on top of things in-between her visits but don't have to give up our weekends to deep cleaning the bathrooms.

Limit DDs to two extra curricular activities a week each. That's quite enough rushing around as it is.

Stopped watching the news and deleted the BBC News app and now I will just listen to the headlines on the radio which I find less stressful and upsetting.

We eat an early dinner (usually before 6pm) and bath/shower at night. It means that by 7pm or so everyone has eaten, the kitchen is tidy and we're all washed. Our evenings are for relaxing, not doing more chores.

We've implemented a "quiet hour" before DDs go to bed at 8pm. DD1 is currently reading and DD2 is drawing. People can do whatever they like as long as they're quiet and occupying themselves.

I am ruthless with a one in one out policy on clothes and not having huge stockpiles of make-up and toiletries. I don't need five different mascaras or ten pairs of jeans. I have generally moved to having fewer, better quality items and if I buy something new it has to be because there's a genuine gap in what I own or it's replacing something else. Having less stuff in general is so freeing.

Over the last three months I have had a merciless clear out. The challenge which I think many of us have is that we have accumulated lost of stuff, particularly clothes which are still useful, but not necessarily for us now. So on this basis I have taken c 10 bags to the charity shops. Life is so much easier without so much clutter and I have a much better idea of what I have to wear and use. I have also brought many under used clothes back into use.

Forty85
My next aim is to join up to reformer pilates but I just need to get the confidence to go that first time.

Hi, I just wanted to say please don’t worry about starting reformer pilates - you won’t regret it.

The main thing I would say is to try out a few different instructors when you start, as they all seem to have their own approach and some you mightn’t like - just keep trying till you find ones that you do.

If you let the instructor know at the start that you are new, they will help you set up the machine for your height so you can do it yourself next time. Also, if the springs are ever too heavy during a sequence, you can just drop down to a lighter one.

I’ve been going regularly now for about 2 years now and love it - it’s the only exercise I’ve ever stuck at.

Afterwards I feel strong and capable, and usually walk out of there feeling amazing.

I definitely don’t enjoy all the moves (still hate plank and bridge) but the great thing is, you only do each sequence for a few minutes and then get a break or move on to something else so the time goes quickly.

It won’t make you lose loads of weight (sadly), but will help you get stronger, and more flexible. I actually look forward to classes and wish I could go everyday - sadly my body and budget won’t allow it.

Apologies for the essay, best of luck!

I loved that show so much! Is it only on you tube?

Gave up alcohol. Chose a stress-free, part-time job. I’m way “overqualified” for it and I could earn more money but I don’t want to. Started saying no to things that I don’t want to do. Took me far too many years to learn that it’s okay to do that.

• I take sick days when I'm sick, and I don't feel guilty about it
• I gave up alcohol in early 2020, just before covid hit - it massively improved my sleep and reduced my anxiety
• I now write all events/commitments for myself & kids in a paper weekly planner plus in my phone calendar, which is shared with DH. This has more or less completely stopped us double booking or forgetting events and therefore has reduced our stress a lot
• I've unsubscribed from a lot of email stuff
• I have strictly reduced which apps can send me notifications on my phone, and I deleted all games from my phone, as they were highly addictive & eating my time
• I deleted all my social media accounts (except mumsnet) a few years back - can highly recommend. So much less bullshit, so much more time
• I try to read a book or do sudoku instead of looking at my phone when I've got some downtime at home. I do still use my phone as entertainment, but far less than I used to.
• I stick on headphones and listen to podcasts when cooking/doing housework, it stops me putting those things off and helps me get stuff done for efficiently

Totally agree with all these

Been through this recently. Swimming three times a week for the last two years got me through - I am 100% sure I would have broken without it.
Find something you like doing, that is just for you, and that is good for you - and prioritise it.

Thanks for this thread OP!
Getting to bed earlier for a better sleep. As early as I can - which, even if I aim for 10 and it ends up 11/12/1, I know I’m trying my best.
Healthier snacks. I still love crisps, but replace with rice crackers/nuts/dips/etc as much as possible.
One-size clothing. Game-changer. Found some sites online with fab stylish comfy one-size clothes.
Compressed work hours - do my 5-day work in 4 days, one day now to try to catch up on everything else - life admin, medical appointments, to do list, food shop, food prep etc. Will never catch up, but it’s better than before.
Decluttering - so much stuff had piled up. Clothes, toys, books etc.
Setting up routines and systems. Minimising. Streamlining.
Found hair products that suit my hair. They are expensive, but I use a tiny amount so they last a long time.
Google docs & sheets - I can have my files with me everywhere, on phone and laptop.
Self-care - seeing it as necessary rather than lazy.
Boundaries - knowing what is necessary for me and my family.

I never watch or listen to news.

I delete and ignore all surveys and questionnaires etc. immediately.

If I feel bad after leaving someone’s company, no matter who they are, I accept that and will believe what my body is telling me. If it happens again and again, I keep away from them.

I pray a lot.

I purposely try to avoid any chaos and try to keep things calm.

i try to sleep and rest as much as possible.

"Loyalty-to-the-point-of-martyrdom"...

...serious penny drop moment for me in those lines!! Slow clapping in my head here 😮

Hi

i do online weekly food shop - saves hassle and stress going in
started exercising- baby steps!
focusing on me and my family and ignoring outside noise !

Went LC with my family.
Retired.
Got a cat.
Taken up various crafts.