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Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

428 replies

PersephoneParlormaid · 09/01/2026 06:55

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

OP posts:
TicTac80 · 10/01/2026 22:29

I've thought of another one, and I know that this will probably sound really stupid.

I've started exploring what other jobs I can do. I've become pretty institutionalised - nigh on 27yrs working part or full time in hospitals. I love the work, and my patients; I'm also very grateful for having a job, and for having the health that enables me to work... but I'm becoming tired, starting to become burned out, and I'm so sad/heartbroken/angry at what is happening with the NHS and some of the things that are not being addressed. I worry all the time that I'm not doing enough. I'm in my 40's, and I have another 20+ years of work, until retirement age. I know that if I'm not careful, I'll get burned out, chewed up and spat out. I was feeling pretty hopeless.

So, I've spoken to older relatives who are retired HCPs/nurses, and given myself permission to look around at what other jobs there are out there - still in nursing but maybe trying a new specialty - and what training I need to do to get there. I have even applied for a couple of roles - still within the NHS, but we'll see how it turns out. I don't think that there's a "unicorn" type job that exists, but even just looking/applying (I don't have to say accept a job offer), actually helps me get through some of the harder time, and is quite calming :)

BountifulPantry · 10/01/2026 22:58

Stopped reading / watching / listening to the fucking news.

Too stressful.

iamnotalemon · 11/01/2026 03:25

Not having children.

Imbluedalale · 11/01/2026 06:05

Learnt to say NO
Split up with ex , I finally feel at peace
Started to enjoy my own company
Journalling every day
Stopped reading the news
Show gratitude every day, rather than thinking what I don’t have I appreciate how fortunate I am for what I do have
Started reading again
Try to avoid negative energy, if I’m with somebody and they start ranting about someone else I try and change the subject
Also using the ‘Let Them’ theory . Game changer

PersephoneParlormaid · 11/01/2026 07:00

I agree with ‘Let them’, it really helps you let go.

OP posts:
WhoGrant · 11/01/2026 07:46

Meditating.
Unclenching.
Stopped telling anonymous women they are being unreasonable.

Horses7 · 11/01/2026 08:05

Meditating

Silverbirchleaf · 11/01/2026 08:30

@TicTac80 Hope your new job search is going well.

You mention in your post about ‘giving yourself permission’ . I think there’s alot of truth in that. We all feel we have to do xyz, or that a,b,c is better, and don’t allow ourselves to do what we want , so by ‘giving ourselves permission’ to read a book, climb a mountain, wear a brightly coloured cardigan, we feel better in ourselves.

TicTac80 · 11/01/2026 08:54

I think that phrase was the best way I could describe it. I have only ever worked in healthcare - and I envisioned only ever working in hospitals. I come from a place where there is no NHS, so this is something that I love. I think that when that is engrained so much in you, you can't see the wood for the trees, and any alternative is almost unthinkable. Have you seen Shawshank Redemption? If you have, do you remember the old guy Brooks? He was so institutionalised and I don't want to get that way. But then if you're in that place and a situation is making you unhappy, then hopelessness does kick in....but change is terrifying.

Hence me giving myself a good talking to, then putting out the feelers and speaking to older HCPs and nurses for advice....and actually properly looking to see what other roles I can do, where I can still help/be a nurse. So I'm looking, and researching, and applying - and giving myself permission to do that :)

What do I want? To work where I do but in conditions that are good and safe for all. If that can't happen, and I am risking burnout/my own sanity/health, then I have to do something (I'm solo parent to two kids, ok they're older but still). I'm just over halfway through what is potentially 50yrs of working, so yep, def need to explore other things. Even if I decide ultimately to stay where I am, I think the process of looking elsewhere is helpful.

Crikeyalmighty · 11/01/2026 09:14

threescoops · 10/01/2026 09:54

This is so true. I’ve developed a real intolerance for the way most tv is made now so it’s an assault on the senses with flashy, attention grabbing techniques and constant loud background music. And so much is very formulaic product, presented by reality tv winners and overpaid egotistical celebrities, who address us as if we are stupid children. The programme makers have a low opinion of us. It really raises my stress levels. We now watch talking pictures tv on sky almost exclusively and have thoroughly enjoyed a lot of classic drama from the 70s and 80s that often have multiple series: The Brothers, When The Boat Comes In, Public Eye, A Family At War - classy, intelligent, absorbing, slower paced, well written and acted - can thoroughly recommend for a better quality and more peaceful tv experience

Are you my H - his current watches are when the boat comes in, public eye, callan ( he loves this) and old episodes of Minder and the sweeney .

Crikeyalmighty · 11/01/2026 09:18

I have a totally separate email address that only gets given to ‘when I buy stuff online etc ‘ - hence all it gets is marketing stuff - so I never look at it, but this stuff never fills my proper email inbox either and cuts down the general spam stuff you get too ( as clearly they all flog email addresses these days)

Raisondeetre · 11/01/2026 09:34

AInightingale · 10/01/2026 21:27

Yes to the poster who mentioned 'deleted the Daily Mail app' - horrible snarky 'journalism' that's frankly soul-destroying.

It’s just a diatribe of hate really. Nothing to do with actual news or journalism.

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 11/01/2026 10:31

Crikeyalmighty · 11/01/2026 09:18

I have a totally separate email address that only gets given to ‘when I buy stuff online etc ‘ - hence all it gets is marketing stuff - so I never look at it, but this stuff never fills my proper email inbox either and cuts down the general spam stuff you get too ( as clearly they all flog email addresses these days)

I was told something similar for when you're job hunting.

Gmail sorts mine into relevant labels so my actual primary inbox doesn't get all the crap.

NewYearNewIDontKnowWhat · 11/01/2026 11:07

BeanQuisine · 10/01/2026 08:52

Gave up reading/watching most news and current affairs, and discussions thereof. So many awful things happening in the world that I can do nothing at all about, so there's really no point upsetting or depressing myself by dwelling on it.

I still get the general gist of what's going on without having my nose rubbed in it.

@BeanQuisine in my opinion ...get a satellite operated robot mower that links to your WiFi. You will be able to self install as no wires. Set it up to mow to a schedule and voila mowed lawns so no discussing or scheduling a gardener or DH. Its the garden equivalent if robot vacuum.

CoolPlayer · 11/01/2026 12:04

Buy things I need not want (less stuff, easier house). Try to do some reading to relax my brain. Even if it’s the most horrible weather walking the dog always makes my mind clearer!

carconcerns · 11/01/2026 12:16

Stuck a piece of paper over the top of my phone while on here so don't have to try to mentally avoid the flashing images of the adverts! I mean does anyone actually get influenced to buy things by these kinds of ads? Even on yt I immediately skip and if it's unskibbable I Mute and look away.

Judellie · 11/01/2026 13:53

This is a great thread. It's prompting me to go for a walk;I know I'll feel better afterwards despite the snow on the ground. Fingers crossed the rain holds off tho.

zigazigaaaing · 11/01/2026 15:39

delete social media and get a kindle instead
get a good diary on your phone and diarise everything
mute whatsapp notifications
no kids clubs on weekends
dont attend every kids birthday invite

When i begun to fiercly protect my time and realise not everyone and everything deserves or requires a response, I changed my life

Arraminta · 11/01/2026 16:04

Retiring at 54 but still keeping our cleaner & gardener.

Slowly, but thoroughly decluttering the entire house and garage. I can't think how many bags of stuff I've taken to our local charity shop, but I'm now on first name terms with the lovely staff.

Lost 3st on WLI. So all clothes look so much better on me, even just jeans and a simple sweater. No more stress over outfits and deciding what is/isn't flattering. No more last minute wardrobe dramas or panic buying. Everything I wear now just looks effortlessly nice.

kittens876 · 11/01/2026 18:02

I cut out my toxic mother in law a few days ago and I couldn’t feel any happier about the situation! It’s like a weight has been lifted! Phew! I also gave up drinking alcohol 13 years ago. Best decision I ever made! X

AInightingale · 11/01/2026 18:15

Raisondeetre · 11/01/2026 09:34

It’s just a diatribe of hate really. Nothing to do with actual news or journalism.

I do glance at it and it's always awful. For instance, today they are advising people where to invest money to benefit from the many wars threatening to break out around the globe, as arms companies are upping production. C*ntiest thing I've read in a long time.

Womaninhouse17 · 11/01/2026 18:21

carconcerns · 11/01/2026 12:16

Stuck a piece of paper over the top of my phone while on here so don't have to try to mentally avoid the flashing images of the adverts! I mean does anyone actually get influenced to buy things by these kinds of ads? Even on yt I immediately skip and if it's unskibbable I Mute and look away.

I watch YouTube via Brave, which blocks ads. It's great not being constantly interrupted.

tommyhoundmum · 11/01/2026 18:21

prioritised analogue over digital

1457bloom · 11/01/2026 18:21

Getting divorced

bellocchild · 11/01/2026 18:27

Redlocks30 · 10/01/2026 10:02

Left teaching. It's improved my stress levels no end!

Best thing to do! Did my 14 years teaching and went back into fun job. Someone I'd known for years walked past me without recognising me - and then said I looked ten years younger ...